2 trails.

on November 21, 2007 in Ze Bloggy Goodness with 5 comments by

There’s two ways this post can go today: serious and not. I think since tomorrow is Thanksgiving, and we know that will be reflective and narcissistic, today we’ll go funny.

And it will be short. You have been a real trouper through these last two long posts. Though I agree with what you are thinking- they were totally worth it.

So I go to see my grandmother today at the nursing home. We call her Ma. My grandfather is there visiting as well. We call him Colonel. “Because he is a war hero?”, you may ask. And the answer is no. We call him that because he looks like Colonel Sanders from KFC. Don’t believe me? Fine.You know, it’s quasi-bothersome that I have to “prove” everything to you. Remember when you used to just take me at my word? Where’s the trust? Gah.

Back to the story.

So Colonel and I are talking about my cousin Jake starting a job today. Here’s the exact dialogue:

Colonel: “Yeah, Jake probably tried to call my cell phone and tell me.”

Me: “Did you lose it?” [the most likely situation. He is 94 years old.]

C: “Nope, dropped it in the commode.” [More commonly known in 2007 as the toilet.]

Me (cringing in preparation for too much info): “How did that happen?”

C: “Well, I bent over to pick somethin’ up from behind the commode and it slid right out of my shirt pocket. Plop.”

Me: “Did you get it out?”

C: “I got it out right aways, but it was too late. It’s totally dead.”

Me: “Colonel, why don’t you just take it apart and let it dry for a couple of hours? That might help.”

C: “Already tried to dry it. Still dead.”

Me: “How did you try to dry it?”

C: “I put it in the toaster oven.

An obvious solution. Put a wet mechanical device in an electric heater. As I continued to question this line of decision making, I came to learn that apparently the first minute that a toaster oven is on is quite effective for drying things. Next he’s going to tell me that he keeps his hair dryer in a bathtub full of water because it works better that way. Gracious. He’s like a cat with 9 lives. Except he’s on life #24.

Here’s one more hilarious Colonel tidbit- He was making everyone SIGN IN at Ma’s nursing home saying the date and time that you visited. I found this ludicrous. So I revolted and refused to sign in. Ever. And today Colonel tells me that he finally just took the notepad home because I had single handedly killed his initiative. Somehow, I managed to thwart his efforts completely- I don’t know how I did that- I never even talk to other people (besides family) who go to visit her. Sometimes, I guess I just don’t know my own strength and power of influence. Even over people I don’t interact with or see.

Didn’t I know, he explained, that he just wanted to thank people who came to visit? I gave him the opportunity to thank me in person right then. He didn’t take it.

5 comments

  1. Marie-Claire
    posted on Nov 21, 2007 at 10:57 PM  |  reply

    I wish you had posted a picture of colonel in his one-piece outfit. That’s what I think of when I think of him.

    The toaster oven. Bahaha.rie

  2. becky
    posted on Nov 22, 2007 at 1:43 AM  |  reply

    that made me smile:) what a great man, how cute he is!!!

  3. Jake
    posted on Nov 22, 2007 at 2:14 AM  |  reply

    Your toaster over story just provided Jake’s family great entertainment. Just in the nick of time, too. His Stepdad and STEPgrandmother are here and I’m supposed to be entertaining them… ALONE.

  4. brad
    posted on Nov 22, 2007 at 4:07 PM  |  reply

    I am saluting the Colonel right now.

  5. carolineb
    posted on Nov 22, 2007 at 10:53 PM  |  reply

    I like his white full-sized van.

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