Yellow.

on April 9, 2008 in Ze Bloggy Goodness with 10 comments by

I don’t know. Maybe you are from here. Maybe you, like me, woke up this morning with a swollen throat, leaving you the slightest bit concerned that the day has finally come when you are, in fact, allergic to Cadbury eggs.

You don’t worry about that? Oh. Moving on…..

Well, if you live in Georgia, you probably DID wake up with a swollen throat, or some other form or physical response to the intensity that reigns (and RAINS) outside.

I went to 722 tonight and the pastor said, “Introduce yourself to one another and answer this question: If you could have dust made of any particle fill your nose and lungs, and cover your body and all your belongings, what would it be?”

I said Frosted Flakes dust. Because that would be sweet and delicious.

But instead, you get this.No, our lake is not made of Ramen Noodle powder, though that’s what it looks like.

Pollen, people. It’s taking over the state of Georgia. Our peaches look like lemons. It’s like sand. There is probably some in my bed, in my shoes, in my ears. Everywhere.

And our vehicles?
Don’t even worry about the fact that I still have my KSU sticker even though I’m a grad school dropout. It’s all a show to look more dedicated and educated. Don’t judge me.

But look at that coverage of pollen. It is disgusting. It layers everything, including persons. My friend Nathan was playing golf today and was commenting on how he had to dust HIMSELF off after standing still too long.

That is the gospel truth of how things are right here right now. And I know it happens every year, but does anyone else feel like it is a bit intense this year? I mean seriously, it’s like a golden Harmattan.

My grandmother’s car is the perfect example. Natural color? Maroon. No lie.

Great googley moogley.

So. is this just a Georgia thing or what? Is it a Southern thing? Are we being punished for the crimes of the Confederates? Or is it nationwide? Was pollen a plague? If not, a good opportunity was missed to really drive those Egyptians crazy. I’m not even Pharaoh and I want to let the people go.

To end strong, I googled “yellow joke” in hope of coming up with something hilarious for you. Sadly, most “yellow jokes” are far beyond inappropriate and uncool.

So I’ll just give you some tips I found online for surviving the pollen:
1) Don’t vacuum [apparently it stirs up pollen]2) Don’t rub your eyes
3) Stay indoors
4) Change your clothes at bedtime [what say you go ahead and make that a habit anyways- pollen or not]

You’re welcome.

10 comments

  1. Marie-Claire
    posted on Apr 09, 2008 at 4:31 AM  |  reply

    I can seriously see and hear you laughing at yourself as you type the Pharaoh joke.

    No pollen in Kentucky, yet.

  2. mamasass
    posted on Apr 09, 2008 at 1:02 PM  |  reply

    and this is weird. when you wipe a table outdoors covered in pollen, the damp paper towel is black not yellow…….go figure

  3. Annie
    posted on Apr 09, 2008 at 1:36 PM  |  reply

    Marie- I’m jealous of your Kentucky-ness.

    Beth- I did not know that but I am so glad you did. That’s why you are Happy. Happy’s need to know that stuff.

  4. Amy Rakes
    posted on Apr 09, 2008 at 3:30 PM  |  reply

    It’s here in Alabama, too. Skyler’s baseball uniform is not covered in dirt from sliding into home plate, but pollen. I kid you not – his jersey is black and it was yellow after last night’s game.

  5. Hannah Hoffmann
    posted on Apr 09, 2008 at 5:30 PM  |  reply

    If it makes you feel better…it’s in Florida too. My children’s noses have been out of control for a month. Eli has perfected the nose lick. It’s disgusting.

  6. Sarah Markley
    posted on Apr 09, 2008 at 8:14 PM  |  reply

    So, no, we really don’t have that here. At all. Really not sure what that is. Its a little weird. We just have regular BROWN dust.

    Yes, it’s a crime for being a confederate state =)! It could be weirder. What if it was purple, or red?

  7. beck
    posted on Apr 09, 2008 at 9:58 PM  |  reply

    eek. vacuumed today and layed (is that how you say it) out in my damp/polleny back yard~ WITH THE MAY FLIES. Is THAT a GA thing as well? HELP. I can’t stand those things. They’re everywhere!

  8. Anonymous
    posted on Apr 10, 2008 at 3:19 AM  |  reply

    It’s the same way in SC. Only we have drought restrictions in our area and can’t wash our vehicles, or water our lawns or water our plants, etc., etc.
    Nevermind that I have a dark blue van. Nevermind that it’s rained four inches this past week. Chalky yellow is the color of the south in April. Chalk. Yeah, that’s what it reminds me of. Chalkboard chalk of my childhood. Did you ever have to clean erasers for your teacher? Same color, same effect. Cough, sneeze…
    That was long. Sorry.
    Southern Gal

  9. Mel
    posted on Apr 10, 2008 at 7:32 AM  |  reply

    5. Move to Seattle.

  10. Brad Huebert
    posted on Apr 10, 2008 at 11:17 PM  |  reply

    Gnats.

    That’s what we got up here last summer. Little pee shooting winged freaks of nature rising up against their urban oppressors by the billions.

    I half expected some goof to appear on the news insisting that we let his people go.

    I love your humor. Nice.

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