Missing.

on April 22, 2008 in Ze Bloggy Goodness with 10 comments by

I don’t have a lot of treasured possessions. I just wasn’t built that way. It comes in really handy as a teacher, being that there is NOT A ONE THING that the students feel is off limits to touch and then drop on the floor and break into eleventy billion pieces. Sorry about that, book ends shaped like a desktop computer.

But I do have a few treasures.

And probably the top one, the most precious thing I own, is missing. I didn’t notice the first few days I moved. But as the days have pulled along, bags have been emptied and things have finally found a resting place, it is no where. No where.

I remember the last time I saw it. I was packing my bedroom and I remember pulling it out of the bedside table drawer. Where it has been for the last seven years. I held it in my hands, as I’ve done so many times, and I remember asking myself, “Do you really think you will need this before August?”

Unfortunately, I don’t remember my answer.

My rational mind says, “You probably packed it in the box, and it’s quietly resting in a UHAUL storage unit.”

My emotional mind says, “OH MY DEAR LORD WHERE COULD IT BE?!?! HOW IN THE WORLD DID I LOSE SOMETHING THAT IS SO IMPORTANT TO ME YET KNOW THE EXACT LOCATION OF MY CHRISTMAS SOCKS?!?!”

I have bags packed for a yard sale- did I accidentally bag it?

Did I, God forbid, trash it?

Oh, that just makes me feel sick. I can’t think about that again.

It’s not just an item. It’s an investment. It’s a piece of me. It’s a big piece of my story- it’s a deep part of me.

I have no idea where it is. And I desperately want to find it. I don’t need it, per say. I just want to know that it is near me. I just want it.

So, foolishly, tomorrow afternoon I will head to the UHAUL storage unit, unpack every piece of furniture to find the small box that could possibly hold my missing item. Because I’m willing to waste my afternoon and my energy to see if there is just a chance that it is there. I am willing to do anything at this point to try to find it. To have it again.

Maybe this is the smallest smallest infinitely tiniest taste of how Jesus felt before He found me.

10 comments

  1. Brad Huebert
    posted on Apr 22, 2008 at 3:53 AM  |  reply

    Hoo boy.

    Makes me think of the parable of the missing coin… or better yet, the missing sheep. God seeks us, pines for us, stays awake at night… looking for us.

    Good luck with that, though. Really.

  2. Marie-Claire
    posted on Apr 22, 2008 at 4:23 AM  |  reply

    Wish I could help you and we could at least waste our afternoons together.

    Hope you find it.

  3. Annie Parsons
    posted on Apr 22, 2008 at 5:15 AM  |  reply

    Oh Annie. I’m sorry! I own two rings – one was a gift on my 16th birthday, and the other was an important purchase when I was in Prague. And when I moved into my apartment in February, I lost them. Both. I have no idea where they are. I’m afraid they’re gone forever. 🙁

    I hope that the same is NOT true of your precious thing.

  4. Emily
    posted on Apr 22, 2008 at 2:38 PM  |  reply

    A writer’s last sentence. Beautiful.

    Good luck digging! I just know you’ll find it. I asked Jesus to help you just now. I also asked him to quiet your heart should you not find it. He’s SO got your back.

  5. lucy
    posted on Apr 22, 2008 at 7:22 PM  |  reply

    i can’t get past not knowing what this thing IS! i mean, i know you’re not going to tell b/c you specifically didn’t in your post, and it doesn’t matter what it is, just that it’s missing, but this is the ocd side of my life that is screaming “what is it” as if knowing would help me help you find it. oh annie. what are you going to do with me? love me forever, i hope. xoxoxo

  6. Sarah Markley
    posted on Apr 22, 2008 at 7:58 PM  |  reply

    I really hope you find it. I do…=)

    I hate this kind of thing. I hate not knowing where something is.

  7. Chip
    posted on Apr 23, 2008 at 12:20 AM  |  reply

    Now I’m going to be totally flusterated. I hate missing something. I hate when someone else is missing something. I’m still looking for a Christmas gift I received.

    I won’t give up. Thank God He doesn’t, either.

  8. Shannon
    posted on Apr 23, 2008 at 5:43 PM  |  reply

    Find it yet?

  9. annie
    posted on Apr 24, 2008 at 1:52 PM  |  reply

    That is not a good feeling. I hope you found it!

    And, what a beautiful end to this post. Thank you for that; it blessed me this morning.

  10. steve and randel hambrick
    posted on May 21, 2008 at 12:59 AM  |  reply

    annie! why, oh why, wont you tell us what it is?? geez… we are gonna have to work on that mysterious part of you that drives your readers nuts… 🙂

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