It feels awkward, to say the least.

on April 30, 2008 in Ze Bloggy Goodness with 13 comments by

So, like a good sanitary citizen, I was washing my face yesterday. Some sort of Dove Exfoliating Facewash with blue beads that Sally probably bought in 2003 and never used up, so it’s in our bathroom. I scrubbed that beautiful face o’ mine and then began to splash water on it to rinse. You know the drill. I hope.

I knew in one fateful moment that I had a serious problem on my hands. As my fingers ran over my eyelids, I realized that I had drug soap into my eyes. At that point, I began to rapidly splash water into my eyes because they were BURNING LIKE FIRE.

Thinking nothing was wrong, except that my IQ level drops daily, I headed off to school. By evening, this appeared.
A bloodshot left eye with one good solid red streak down the middle. Need another close up view of said eye?
Yeah, that’s not good. It’s itchy and sore and leaky. And awkward feeling. But what is worse is when, at 5am, you wake up to your eye being COMPLETELY sealed shut by gunk. I mean, “Oh my gosh if I try to pry this puppy open I will lose all my eyelashes” sealed. G-ross. Luckily, I had taken out my contacts and am happily in my sassy glasses. That would have been wicked sick to deal with that gunk plus a foggy contact lens this morning.

[Not to be super-Christian here, but isn’t it a little amazing that our bodies know how to repair themselves like that? Seal an eye shut to heal? That’s divine.]

Because I don’t like paying to go to a doctor, I went to the school nurse. Call it “Workplace Health Care”, if you will. She immediately assessed the situation- scratched eyeball. [You don’t say.] It was one of those stupid exfoliating beads. Nice work, bead. And she said if it still is gunky tonight and hurting tomorrow, she will make me wear a PATCH.

Now I have one of two options, that have nothing to do with how my eye truly feels:

A. Pretend it doesn’t hurt so I don’t have to wear a patch.

B. Pretend it does hurt so I get to wear a patch.

I’ll let you know what this little pirate decides tomorrow. Time to let the ole peepers have a rest.


  1. Sally
    posted on Apr 30, 2008 at 3:41 AM  |  reply

    Sorry my face wash made your eye gunky…but i would definitely go with option B because not many people have a legit reason to wear a patch, and everyone knows that pirates are awesome.

  2. Annie
    posted on Apr 30, 2008 at 3:43 AM  |  reply

    The gunk isn’t really my biggest concern.

    I think the large red scratch is.

  3. Sarah Markley
    posted on Apr 30, 2008 at 5:09 AM  |  reply


  4. Mel
    posted on Apr 30, 2008 at 7:22 AM  |  reply


    For awhile, I thought my ears were producing tiny blue balls of wax . . . seriously, for several days, I’d fine these little blue balls and couldn’t figure out what was happening. I dreamed up many possible explanations.

    But it was just small beads from my morning shower scrub.

  5. KateVonGlahn
    posted on Apr 30, 2008 at 1:24 PM  |  reply

    Uck. Those pictures made me kind of sick. I’m going to stay away from your blog until you can guarantee me that disgusting pictures will not be shown again. Ew.

  6. Anonymous
    posted on Apr 30, 2008 at 1:56 PM  |  reply

    I am a huge Days of Our Lives fan, so I say you go with option B. It works for Steve (Patch). Hope you feel better soon. Argh!

  7. jenny
    posted on Apr 30, 2008 at 3:53 PM  |  reply

    Oh, be a pirate!!

  8. brightasafeather
    posted on Apr 30, 2008 at 4:34 PM  |  reply

    I once had a similar mishap. Only it was a whole glob of Apricot Scrub that SHOT into my eye. I was trying to get the last bit out of the tube and somehow the angle and the force used were just right….and it went directly from the tube into my eyeball! Not fun. But I was cracking up because, who the heck does that happen to!?
    Me. And you. And maybe the world?

    Good luck!

  9. Dionna
    posted on Apr 30, 2008 at 7:35 PM  |  reply

    Oh – I hope you don’t have to wear a patch! I burned my eye with the curling iron once and I also got dust in my eye as a kid that worked its way under the lid and scratched my eye. So I’ve worn a patch twice – and it’s painful. Your eye wants to open but it can’t.
    Hang in there and here’s hoping you have drastic improvement by tomorrow!

  10. Boggsy
    posted on May 01, 2008 at 12:11 AM  |  reply

    I might have some veterinary eye antibiotic drops you can try. I’m sure it’s the same thing you would get at a “real” doctor? : ) Just let me know…

    lukxj = Lens, Uveitis, Keratitis, [no] X-rays, Just [an eye patch please]

  11. Candace
    posted on May 01, 2008 at 1:02 AM  |  reply

    i’m more concerned about the yellow dot on your lower inner eyelid.

  12. speedinguptoslowdown
    posted on May 01, 2008 at 2:06 AM  |  reply

    I just threw up in my mouth a little.

  13. carolineb
    posted on May 01, 2008 at 1:52 PM  |  reply

    Your eyes are beautiful even with red streaks. I’m sorta sorry it didn’t come to eye patch, though. Those would be some good photos.

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