Miss you in moments.

on May 6, 2008 in Ze Bloggy Goodness with 5 comments by

I was driving down the gravel driveway this evening and an older woman was picking up trash along our side of the road. And for an instant, I thought it was Ma. My grandmother. But Ma has been in a nursing home for years, so that is impossible. I see her often [ish] and I am grateful she is alive. But I missed her deeply in that moment. Because she used to work hard to keep the yard clean and it was a normal sight for her to be picking up trash or mowing the yard.

This weekend, at the yard sale, some family friends drove up. They had collected things from their grandparents’ house for us to sell. My other grandmother, Kath, was good friends with this grandmother before Kath died in 1999. As I opened the trunk and pulled out a box, the scent invaded my nose and I missed Kath terribly in that moment. It smelled just like her. Grandmotherly.

I think this is just how I work. The way my clock ticks. I don’t miss constantly, though I think it is fair to say that we all have miss-able [I made that up] things in our lives every day. But I miss in moments.

I won’t miss teaching everyday. I can promise you that. Some days, dealing with parents more than kids honestly, I think, “This is EXACTLY why it’s time for me to get out.”

But when a student emails me and says he misses me…….

or when school supplies fill every store in August……

or when my teacher friends send emails about hilarious happenings……

or worse, when I quit understanding the jokes……

or when I wonder the location of that certain book and my first response is “on my bookshelf at school” even though that doesn’t exist anymore…….

or when a hug from a student or a joke told in class would really make everything seem better….

or when it sounds like someone says, “Ms. Downs”…….

or when I don’t have anyone to go with me to get ice cream on Friday afternoons……

those are the moments.

I think moving is going to produce a lot of those moments. Those instances when I just need to walk with Haley and Molly, when I just want to sit on the couch with my parents, when I want to drive a different route and know how to get home, when something smells like Marietta Pizza Company, when I just want to be at a church where people know me, really know me.

They won’t be constant, or so I pray. But they will be present.

Dear life I know today,
I will miss you in moments.

5 comments

  1. Georgia Kay
    posted on May 06, 2008 at 2:33 PM  |  reply

    There is an old saying,”I miss you like dry soil misses rain”. No matter your age, you will miss in moments.

  2. Jonathan
    posted on May 06, 2008 at 8:21 PM  |  reply

    amy here:

    oh annie, so true!!! i missed so much when i moved to india (the crazy place He called me at one point), but wow, i have missed sooooo much more in leaving india!!!!! it wont be the same in nashville, it cant, it shouldnt be (why would you go if it was, huh?). but you will be surprised. you may be surprised at how long, or short, it takes to find your place, but you will and one day, when you leave you will look back and be shocked at how much you will miss of nashville!!!! enjoy the ride my friend! i love watching you on it! hear me, it only gets better, it only gets harder, it only gets easier, it only gets crazier!!! you have taken a step WAY BEYOND your own limits! get ready annie, He wont EVER let you go back now!!! (that doesnt mean marietta, it means those new places in your heart that He is touching and revealing and changing–they will never be the same!!!!) hang on!

  3. Brad Huebert
    posted on May 06, 2008 at 10:38 PM  |  reply

    Mmmm.

    Two and a half years ago I moved my family two Provinces away (I’m Canadian, eh) and had to start over because God said so, so I understand the missing moments.

    I’ve found that a few things happen over time, like it or not: One, the moments become fewer (which is usually a relief); two, the moments change – after awhile, they bring smiles, not tears; and three, you become more present in your present, discovering gems where you now are. I’ll pray for all three of those for you, Annie. You’re precious.

  4. Sarah Markley
    posted on May 07, 2008 at 1:08 AM  |  reply

    I agree that this is very true. It is hard to move on from anything. I hate thinking about transition at all b/c it hurts just enough to be uncomfy. But nothing new can happen if we hold on to old stuff, I think. =)

    One of my best friends is a former student. I get to go watch her graduate Georgetown in a week!

  5. Sharliss Jane Arnold
    posted on May 08, 2008 at 5:42 AM  |  reply

    Ok, so now you know how I have felt for almost 2 years now. Unfortunately, we had to add an illness to the mix but I completely understand. Thanks for the words. I think I will print them and post them where I can “revisit” often. Good night.

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