Blockage.

on June 24, 2008 in Ze Bloggy Goodness with 15 comments by

Ahem.

This blog post is not exactly what you are thinking. Because if you think I would sit and write paragraph after paragraph about bodily function issues…. okay, you’re right. If it was funny enough, I totally would.

But this is a different kind of blockage.

Saturday, after KEYED UP 08 [the incident’s official name now], I was trying to think of any way possible to avoid crying. “Make a list,” I said to myself, “of all the things that have gone wrong since you attempted to leave your house on Friday morning.”

Because nothing will dam the tears like a list of things gone awry.

My goal was to leave my house at 9am Friday morning. I was actually ready about 8:40am. Props to me. And then….

1. The book I wanted to listen to did not download completely. Add ten minutes to departure time.

2. Get in the car to go, plug in iPod to get started, and it is COMPLETELY EMPTY. Ooohh boy. 1293 songs missing somewhere between my sofa and the car. This is getting ridiculous. So I go back in, reload the Pod, and end up leaving at 9:10am.

3. Stop to get gas. Every time I swipe my card is says, “GO SEE ATTENDANT”. Like, four times. He kept saying in his thick accent, “I do not know why it will not let you have the gas-o-line.” I was thinking, “Uh, I know why. Cause today is out of control.” The gas pump finally conceded and gave me my 16 gallons.

4. Around 11:3oam, ye ole tummy began to beg, so I started looking for a Chick-fil-A. No luck. FOR SEVENTY MILES. What kind of America do we live in where one can not find a grilled chicken sandwich with a pickle for SEVENTY MILES?

5. In the seventy miles of desolate chicken-free land, I was behind a huge truck carrying rocks. [I bet you can see where this one is going….] One tiny little pebble flings out of the truck and WHACK! Makes one of those spider cracks in my windshield.

At this point, I said outloud, “Are you freaking KIDDING me?”

6. Danny Garmin. I love him. Don’t get me wrong. But let’s just say that his skill is limited in and around the Charlotte area. I had to call the hotel twice to be able to find it. [Which is totally not surprising for me, just surprising when Danny rides with me.]

7. Last, but surely not least, I present the grand-daddy of them all. KEYED UP 08.

Why do I laugh all this stuff off instead of balling up on the floor, sucking my thumb, and weeping?

You, dear children, are from God and have overcome them,
because the One who is in you is greater than the one who is in the world.

– 1 John 4:4

Oh yeah. That’s why.

15 comments

  1. Chip
    posted on Jun 24, 2008 at 3:00 AM  |  reply

    What is it with you and swiping cards? Storage rentals … gas pumps … what next?

  2. Annie
    posted on Jun 24, 2008 at 3:05 AM  |  reply

    My Discover Card to go to camp, I think. You still haven’t let me know my cost… ahem, I mean my cabin assignment. 🙂

  3. Chip
    posted on Jun 24, 2008 at 3:29 AM  |  reply

    At least with camp, there’s no physical swiping of the card. And for $165/week, I’ll put you just about anywhere. West of Mobley and North of the dining hall. Except for staff cabins (fun roomies). Hey, how about pre-campers??

    Register now … we’ll talk assignments later.

  4. ManUtd17
    posted on Jun 24, 2008 at 3:50 AM  |  reply

    I can hear Will Ferrell screaming #5.

    That is some serious battling.

  5. Sarah
    posted on Jun 24, 2008 at 10:56 AM  |  reply

    Awwh – I hate those days but they make us appreciate the good days even more. By the time I have about 5 of those building up, I have to sit back and say, “okay, God what are you trying to tell me.” and usually something inspirational comes up, not always but usually:)

  6. My Inspired Heart
    posted on Jun 24, 2008 at 12:25 PM  |  reply

    great post…so true, though….when it rains, it pours! Love your outlook….and that verse fits perfectly!!

  7. Desiree'
    posted on Jun 24, 2008 at 12:30 PM  |  reply

    You poor gal, all just to try to get somewhere on time. I get lost a lot too. . .I think I need a Danny!! 🙂 I hope things have cleared up a bit.

  8. Robin
    posted on Jun 24, 2008 at 3:04 PM  |  reply

    Trust me, as you get older, you’ll hold fast to “laughin’ causes less wrinkles than cryin'”. Truly, though, I believe laughter is divine, a gift. Even in the face of adversity or grief.

    Should you be encouraged? Satan was so trying to defeat you, maybe because he was scared of all the “good” things (God things?) that might happen as a result of the conference.

    Your outlook and attitude will serve you well…this is just the beginning of something wonderful :).

    LOL, and I love my word verification right now–“yokoo”–it sounds just a little bit whacky!

    Or maybe just John Lennon-ish…;) (are you too young to understand what I mean???).

  9. Amy Beth @ Ministry So Fabulous!
    posted on Jun 24, 2008 at 4:59 PM  |  reply

    Let me just say — anybody who can make that kind of a day this funny deserves a MILKSHAKE from Chick-Fil-A!

  10. MoziEsmé
    posted on Jun 24, 2008 at 5:55 PM  |  reply

    Funny how looking at all the bad events of a day makes me smile so much more than if you wrote a list of all the good things that happened that day . . .

  11. annie
    posted on Jun 24, 2008 at 7:24 PM  |  reply

    You’re a fantastic story-teller, Annie. I was getting frustrated, just reading this.

    As has already been pointed out, the enemy was trying to drag you down and make you quit… but you WON. Our God IS greater, and He was glorified by your attitude.

    Good job.

  12. Lynn
    posted on Jun 24, 2008 at 8:40 PM  |  reply

    Hi Annie! I just found your blog through other SheSpeaks attendees. I am so sorry about all the bad stuff, but I’m glad you can find the humor in it. We do have to remember to put things in perspective. I hope to be back to your blog soon 🙂

  13. nanatrish
    posted on Jun 25, 2008 at 2:11 AM  |  reply

    Annie, I love your blog. Your video in the car is a hoot. I love it. Sorry your car got keyed. People are so rude and hateful. I try to tell myself, when stuff like that happens, This is all to keep me humble. So many things in this world we have to deal with and ice cream at the YMCA should not be one of them. Keep smiling. We are just pilgrims!

  14. Sarah Markley
    posted on Jun 25, 2008 at 2:33 AM  |  reply

    I am sooooo sorry. =(

  15. Amanda
    posted on Jun 26, 2008 at 12:12 AM  |  reply

    That’s yucky; I’m sorry.

    Are you sure it’s from a key, though? It doesn’t look like damage from a key in your picture, with such a wide and dark mark.

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