In a tizzy.

on May 19, 2009 in Ze Bloggy Goodness with 25 comments by

Is “tizzy” a word used around the country? Or is this a southern word?

Like were I, per say, to write an entire post about how right now, at 11:21pm [just being honest, I’m writing this Monday night], I am in a FULL ON TIZZY, does that make sense to people outside of the Bible belt?

I’m gonna check online to see if there is a “tizzy” definition…. wait for it….

[mere google minutes later…..]

Well, it appears that yes, many people get in tizzies. Including the Danish. Because according to answers.com, to be “in a tizzy” in Danish is “helt ude af flippen“. Which honestly sounds about right.Β  A “tizzy” and a “flippen“. I’m both right now. Tizzied. And flippened.

I was just on the phone with my friend Sarah and we were discussing a mutual friend. A male mutual friend. That I have zero interest in. That I simply consider a good friend. Let’s call him Zephaniah.

[All names have been changed in this story to protect the innocent…. even though really, I’m the only one who looks like an idiot. So let’s call me “Cathy”.]

Sarah says, “Yeah, I watched you and Zephaniah tonight. I don’t think he knows what to do with you.”

SCRREEECH.

Wait. What. What is THAT supposed to mean? I mean seriously, 68% of the time I don’t even know what to do with me. I know I can be a handful, but why does it feel different to hear it from someone else?

So as I’m laying here on my bed, listening to Sarah explain all the ways that Zephaniah acted awkward and confused at my Cathy’s behavior, an old voice whispered snake-ily in my ear.

See? You’re too much.

Stasi Eldridge says in her book Captivating that every woman hears one lie or the other- you are either too much or not enough. And it is rare that I hear that I’m not enough. But often, I think I’m too much. Too loud. Too friendly. Too outgoing. Too involved in other people’s lives. Too much. Just too much.

My friend Sarah meant NOTHING by it- just that literally, he’s more shy than I am and he wants to be careful not to give off the wrong vibes. Which is good. She repeated over and over again how she was sure we were just friends and that just because he is awkward doesn’t mean I am [but Cathy kinda is]. But now I sit here, replaying every Zephaniah & Cathy moment of the last 9 months and wondering if he is secretly either a) deathly afraid of me or b) totally sure I’m in deep love with him which leads to being a) deathly afraid of me.

Hence the reason I found myself helt ude af flippen. Tizzified.

But I’ve had some time. [It’s now 11:59pm.] My nerves have calmed and I’ve gone back to the truth I know about how God created me. And truth has been spoken to my heart by Sarah and other friends. So don’t fret.

I have to wonder, though. Am I alone in this? Do you ever hear those lies in your head? That you’re TOO MUCH or NOT ENOUGH? Maybe this isn’t just a girl thing. Maybe dudes deal with it too?

I’ll ask Zephaniah. I mean, I figure I’ll speak to him again…. sometime in 2011.

25 comments

  1. posted on May 19, 2009 at 6:50 AM  |  reply

    I can sometimes be the loud witty funny type… But a lot of seminary wives aren’t.

    And they don’t always laugh at my jokes.
    And I start to think I’m too much. Then I spend the rest of the time trying to make myself shut up. And I feel bad. Like I’ve offended or hurt or monopolized or been insensitive.

    And honestly, Annie, I’m enough of an introvert for that type of experience to shut me in my apartment for two weeks.

  2. posted on May 19, 2009 at 8:25 AM  |  reply

    Hi. I started reading your blog just as you went on a break. Timing is everything.

    I remember reading those lines in CAPTIVATING (I didn’t mean to scream that, I just don’t know how to underline in comments.). It was so unbelievably freeing to me to know that I was not the only woman who had ever felt like she was too much or not enough. I sometimes feel like I’m too much AND not enough simultaneously, which seems like it would require great talent.

    Sometimes when I’m not remembering what I’ve learned, I try to make myself be less. I’ll dial myself back at least a little. Suddenly I find myself right smack dab (I think that’s Southern, too) in the middle of hearing myself wax poetically about everything and nothing and think, “Why can’t you just be quiet?”

    I can’t speak for all women, but I speak for this one (a LOT) and I definitely know the feeling of too much/not enough. It’s a daily struggle.

  3. posted on May 19, 2009 at 9:28 AM  |  reply

    I dont know why it is so hard for women to believe the Truth and not listen to lies – but I totally feel like it’s a universal struggle for the female portion of the population. I know it is for me. And I always hear that little voice whispering that I’m not enough.

    Of course the only answer is to listen to the other voice. The one who quietly and insistently reminds me that I am, indeed, enough, because He created me that way.

  4. ali
    posted on May 19, 2009 at 9:45 AM  |  reply

    I like “tizzy.” I use it often. Especially with Henry.

    My other favorite, but not as appropriate to use with Henry is:

    “panties in a bunch.”

    Seriously, who came up with that one?

  5. posted on May 19, 2009 at 10:11 AM  |  reply

    Tizzy is a fabulous word. Up here, in the Pacific Northwest, we get in tizzies too.

    Often times I feel that women think too much. We analyze too much. So if anything, we spend too much time thinking about every action we’ve done or every word we’ve said in the last 6 months.

    When it comes down to it, you’re just being who God made you. All that thinking and analyzing is way to keep you from being you. It’s noise.

    Annie, I know how you feel, but just be you. God can and will use that.

    Kelly

  6. posted on May 19, 2009 at 10:42 AM  |  reply

    Loved this post. I was going to say that I totally know what being in a tizzy is – but I’m from NC so OF COURSE I know.

    When I was younger I used to worry a lot more about what impression I made on people – & I was a bit schizophrenic about it. I remember when I was in Journeyman training (a mission program with the Southern Baptists) I was really quiet most of the time. So my mission family in Zambia was told how quiet I was. Then I stepped off the plane after being basically by myself for 2 days & didn’t stop talking for 2 days. They didn’t know what to think. And, really, I didn’t either.

    Now that I’m the ripe old age of 45 I just don’t care as much – I am who I am. If God whispers something to me about needing to work on this or that area, I listen. But no one else can get me to care about it – I’m just me!

  7. posted on May 19, 2009 at 10:52 AM  |  reply

    i’m more the the not enough type. my good friend in college was (ahem) kind enough to let me know that guys would never know anything about me if i didn’t step up a bit. but, that is also when God showed me that He was enough. and that i needed to treasure things in my heart instead of stewing. or tizzying(?). does that help at all? cause i think it just helped me all over again. πŸ˜‰

  8. posted on May 19, 2009 at 11:08 AM  |  reply

    uhh…you are in no way alone…except I’m on the not enough team. What is it about boys that sends us into a tizzy even when we don’t like them “like that”?!

  9. posted on May 19, 2009 at 11:28 AM  |  reply

    I am so glad you are back! I missed reading your blog while you were gone, but I understand the need for a little blog free time.

    I actually struggle with both. Sometimes I feel like I’m too much emotion for anyone to handle… other times I feel like I’m lacking in so many areas. Good to be reminded of the truth. God can handle all of my emotions (plus some) and remind me that I am worth so much to Him.

    Glad you are back. πŸ™‚

  10. posted on May 19, 2009 at 11:47 AM  |  reply

    Hi Annie! I’m glad you’re back too. I’m enjoying your writing. I’m in Canada, and I am often in a tizzy, so yup, it’s definitely an international thing πŸ™‚

    As for the rest of your post, I like the “too much or not enough” insight – it really makes sense. I guess I’ll have to read that book. I’ve been wondering if it was any good.

  11. posted on May 19, 2009 at 12:35 PM  |  reply

    I always get the ‘too much’ vibe…when I started reading this blog, I was once again sure you and I were meant to be friends.

    We can be ‘too much’ together and neither of us will even notice.

  12. Heather
    posted on May 19, 2009 at 12:42 PM  |  reply

    I’ve often been accused of being “too much”, even by my Dad! My Hubby has been known to say that his parents, “just don’t understand me.” So, what’s a girl to do??
    I struggle with the “not enough” part in my relationships, esp to my Hubby and kids.
    Yeah, I’m just a big ole mess!

  13. posted on May 19, 2009 at 1:11 PM  |  reply

    i’ve been “too much” for years. and i’m sure certain personalities ARE too much for certain other personalities. but here’s the thing- you won’t be “too much” for your other half because you were created to blend well together! the right man will appreciate you and value that spunky, fun personality you were designed to have πŸ™‚ he would never be satisfied with anyone less!
    grace, sista. live your life comfortable in your own skin- because you are amazing just the way you are!

  14. posted on May 19, 2009 at 1:39 PM  |  reply

    I think it’s a total woman thing to do this. But let me assure you, you are neither too much or not enough. You are just right. Besides, men are pretty clueless about things like this so I’m sure whatever your friend picked up on had nothing to do with Zeph thinking that you’re too much!

  15. Lindsey
    posted on May 19, 2009 at 2:04 PM  |  reply

    Oh, all the time. I’m mostly a “not enough” girl, but sometimes I feel like I’m “too much.” I’m not outgoing enough, not pretty enough, not skinny enough, not smart enough, not talkative enough. But sometimes I think I’m too clingy, too emotional, too serious…on and on and on.

    I rarely even stop to THINK about God’s opinion of me and how I am just right.

  16. posted on May 19, 2009 at 3:40 PM  |  reply

    Annie, I hear these words in my head a lot. I tell myself that I’m not enough…of a lot of things. But when it comes to personality, I’m more often too MUCH.

    When really, we’re just right, just how God made us.

    It’s definitely enough to throw a girl into a tizzy. Which is a word I know. But I’m half southern, so…?

    It’s interesting that you wrote this today. I’m going to be doing an online Bible study over at my blog of Jennifer Rothschild’s Me, Myself & Lies – on this topic. I think that a lot of women struggle with this stuff, and it’s good to talk it out.

  17. Emma
    posted on May 19, 2009 at 7:17 PM  |  reply

    Hi Annie, don’t think I’ve ever commented before, but- Great post! One that I completely identified with, especially the too-much thing.

    And tizzy is a word I use, even down here in New Zealand! So its not just national, its international. πŸ™‚

  18. posted on May 19, 2009 at 9:18 PM  |  reply

    Annie,
    First off, I’m so glad you’re back!
    Secondly, I love this blog. I’m from the North West, but live in the Mid West and I know all about tizzy’s. So, you are good!
    And I just have to say I have been in this sort of tizzy before. And for me it leads straight into compulsive worrying. Which I’m trying hard to let go of. But I think Satan will take any foothold he can to get us in a tizzy… too much, too little, too everything…
    So, Cathy, hang in there… and don’t listen to the lies!

  19. Valerie
    posted on May 19, 2009 at 10:17 PM  |  reply

    Boy, when I’m not busy being too much, I’m tied up with not being enough. I think for some of us, this is a constant battle – being content with who we are, where we are, when we are. Fortunately, I have a God who knit me together in my mother’s womb, and he made me EXACTLY who I am. There are many times that the too much personality is what it takes to get through the day! Of course, sometimes it makes for an interesting ride.

    Just keep your eye on that full on tizzy. By the time you’re 46, you’ll be past the tizzy mode, and settling right into FULL ON CRAZY. Ask me, I have personal experience. πŸ˜€

  20. posted on May 20, 2009 at 12:31 AM  |  reply

    I totally get the whole “you’re too much” lie all the time. I’ve definitely been fighting it lately. But I always come back to God’s truth. And that truth is, that I can’t change how God made me, because it’s good. Everything he made is good. So I embrace my “too-muchyness” and get on with life.

  21. Bekah
    posted on May 20, 2009 at 7:36 AM  |  reply

    FYI- you are never too much and never not enough, you are a perfect Annie who has changed and impacted many lives. If you weren’t perfectly who you are there would be so many girls and women out there (including me) who would be lacking in who they are. I think you are amazing and I’m glad that the Lord speaks such truth over you and reminds you that you are HIS and no one else’s so you have no one else to please:) I miss you like crazy and I’m glad you blogged again!

  22. posted on May 20, 2009 at 5:04 PM  |  reply

    I tend to go back and fourth from camp to camp depending on the situation – socially, I definitely tend to camp in the ‘too much’ lie, but in my own head the lie tends to camp in the ‘not enough’ area of the trailer park… praise Jesus that if something is not good it is NOT of God & I know you know both of those lies are no good!

    and p.s. – we even get in “tizzy’s” all the way in Africa πŸ™‚

  23. posted on May 20, 2009 at 6:11 PM  |  reply

    Ha, you rock, Annie. You’re not too much, but you are, however, Meget (That’s Danish for much).

    Meget loved.
    Meget gifted.
    Meget funny.
    Meget awesome.

    Be you. Be much. So many are “med fradrag af” (Danish for less. Which, quite frankly, sounds a whole lot worse than “meget”).

    πŸ˜‰

  24. posted on May 20, 2009 at 8:28 PM  |  reply

    Yay! Welcome back! Loved your last post, I may have to lurk on some other blogs and may have found a good bible study…

    But anyway, yes I hear the both the “too much” lie as well as many others and this past week, I got a good jolt of the truth from a 23 year old Marine who attempted to set me straight and then much of what he was telling me got confirmed by God at an Intimacy conference at church.

    The Marine told me if a guy thinks you are too much – – he’s not worth it “Do you want a wimpy guy or what? A real man wants a confident, successful woman…”

  25. posted on May 21, 2009 at 1:28 PM  |  reply

    Hmm. I always go the opposite way and think that I’m not enough. Both ways of thinking are lies, though! Way to catch yourself.

Join the discussion

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

Get a sneak peek of Annie’s latest book! Click the link to download two free chapters of Let’s All Be Brave.