In a tizzy.

Is “tizzy” a word used around the country? Or is this a southern word?

Like were I, per say, to write an entire post about how right now, at 11:21pm [just being honest, I’m writing this Monday night], I am in a FULL ON TIZZY, does that make sense to people outside of the Bible belt?

I’m gonna check online to see if there is a “tizzy” definition…. wait for it….

[mere google minutes later…..]

Well, it appears that yes, many people get in tizzies. Including the Danish. Because according to answers.com, to be “in a tizzy” in Danish is “helt ude af flippen“. Which honestly sounds about right.  A “tizzy” and a “flippen“. I’m both right now. Tizzied. And flippened.

I was just on the phone with my friend Sarah and we were discussing a mutual friend. A male mutual friend. That I have zero interest in. That I simply consider a good friend. Let’s call him Zephaniah.

[All names have been changed in this story to protect the innocent…. even though really, I’m the only one who looks like an idiot. So let’s call me “Cathy”.]

Sarah says, “Yeah, I watched you and Zephaniah tonight. I don’t think he knows what to do with you.”

SCRREEECH.

Wait. What. What is THAT supposed to mean? I mean seriously, 68% of the time I don’t even know what to do with me. I know I can be a handful, but why does it feel different to hear it from someone else?

So as I’m laying here on my bed, listening to Sarah explain all the ways that Zephaniah acted awkward and confused at my Cathy’s behavior, an old voice whispered snake-ily in my ear.

See? You’re too much.

Stasi Eldridge says in her book Captivating that every woman hears one lie or the other- you are either too much or not enough. And it is rare that I hear that I’m not enough. But often, I think I’m too much. Too loud. Too friendly. Too outgoing. Too involved in other people’s lives. Too much. Just too much.

My friend Sarah meant NOTHING by it- just that literally, he’s more shy than I am and he wants to be careful not to give off the wrong vibes. Which is good. She repeated over and over again how she was sure we were just friends and that just because he is awkward doesn’t mean I am [but Cathy kinda is]. But now I sit here, replaying every Zephaniah & Cathy moment of the last 9 months and wondering if he is secretly either a) deathly afraid of me or b) totally sure I’m in deep love with him which leads to being a) deathly afraid of me.

Hence the reason I found myself helt ude af flippen. Tizzified.

But I’ve had some time. [It’s now 11:59pm.] My nerves have calmed and I’ve gone back to the truth I know about how God created me. And truth has been spoken to my heart by Sarah and other friends. So don’t fret.

I have to wonder, though. Am I alone in this? Do you ever hear those lies in your head? That you’re TOO MUCH or NOT ENOUGH? Maybe this isn’t just a girl thing. Maybe dudes deal with it too?

I’ll ask Zephaniah. I mean, I figure I’ll speak to him again…. sometime in 2011.

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