Let me start by saying what I big fan I am. You really are a great state. I mean, we haven’t hung out since 1996, but it was really nice to meet you and I hope I get to see you again soon.
But here’s the thing. I’m disappointed in some of your recent behavior.
You are a thief, Colorado. And I can prove it.
See the girl on the left? That’s Annie Parsons. You stole her from me [I’m the girl on the right, Colorado. Last time you saw me, I was in 10th grade. A wee bit different]. And in case you couldn’t tell by my face, me no likey.
I know what you’re going to say. Annie’s family is there, this is a good time for her to be there with the family, yadda yadda. I hear ya, CO [can I call you CO?], I hear ya. And I love Annie’s family. But I just feel like the best way for me to express my hurt and sadness is to lash out at you.
Sue me, CO. Sue me.
Because, as you know all too well, it doesn’t end there. It’s not like you’ve just taken Annie from me. You also nabbed Betsy.
BETSY, Colorado. BETSY.
That is so not right. Sure, there isn’t any “ski” opportunities in Nashville. Sure, we don’t have “snow” or “ski slopes” or “a job at the ski lodge”, but that doesn’t mean you had to take her.
I got back to Nashville yesterday, CO, and I realized they aren’t here. I mean, I knew you had them, don’t get me wrong. But all the sudden I felt it. And I don’t like it.
So I just had to write you. Cause I’m sad. I’m not going to get all sappy and sentimental and tell you how much I love Annie and Betsy and how I’m going to miss them every day. I’m just going to say that if at any point, you find yourself frustrated with them, or you think that they are in the way, or you aren’t sure that they are making your state any better,
just know that Tennessee will take them back in a heart.beat.
Handle with care, Colorado. Your real estate just went up 200%.