How do we help Miley?

on August 26, 2013 in Culture Matters, Gal Stuff with 165 comments by

Credit: Kevin Mazur/WireImage

Sometimes I worry that the more teen books I write, like Speak Love, the more people are going to expect me to know things.

How do we help a girl like Miley?

How do I keep from my daughter being like that? 

What is this world coming to?

All valid questions, but I’m not sure I know how to answer them.

[If you aren’t sure what I am talking about, google Miley’s VMA performance last night. Don’t watch it with kids around. I won’t post it here.]

Last night, before I went to bed in the lovely town of Houston, Texas – yes, I’m in Houston- I watched the performance. To be fair, I actually only googled the VMA performances because I care about the fact that NSYNC reunited. See, before we were an internet family, way back in 2000, I was an NSYNC super fan and I feel no shame about it.

But you couldn’t have been on the internet for any length of time last night and not heard people talking about Miley.

Bless her.

Right? I mean, bless that girl’s heart. Something is broken. Somehow her compass has come unhinged and her true north no longer exists.

My wise friend Ben Backus tweeted this last night:


And he’s right. While I immediately trashed my Monday blog post about how much I love rental cars [riveting stuff, y’all] so I could write about Miley, I don’t want to vent about her. Honestly, I’m not mad at her. I want to be her friend and let her come home to Nashville and rest out of the spotlight for a few months. Because she is a wounded bird to be sure. Can you see that? Can you hear that? She is wounded and fluttering around screaming for help.

And she needs your help. And my help.

So how do we help Miley? Get ready. You should have seen this coming a mile away.

We speak love to her. 

I know, I know. You’re mad that your teen sister or young daughter was exposed to that behavior! and where is culture going? and am I defending her? and aren’t I grossed out by what I saw? and isn’t she crazy? and why am I not expressing pure outrage because I’m a teen Christian author?

I know.

But in my heart, I don’t feel outrage. I’m very sad for her. When that performance was over, and she left the stage, the internet blew up with hatred and disgust [and I am not saying the internet shouldn’t feel that way]. Miley still washed her face last night and climbed into bed at some point and in that most honest moment right before she fell asleep, I wonder if she was sad. Or embarrassed. Or if she is so deep in the rabbit hole of this whole thing that she felt nothing.

I want to yell down that rabbit hole and tell her to come back.

While today’s headlines are tearing her to shreds, we as Christians HAVE to sound different than the world. We HAVE to yell a different chant in her direction about how God made her on purpose and how she is valuable because of WHO she is, not WHAT she does. I’m not saying we ignore the influence she is having, but if we want to help her [and that is the question titling this post after all], then we have to look at her with eyes of compassion and have our words sound from there.

If the title of this post was “how should we REACT to Miley?” or “How do we talk to our daughters about Miley?,” well sisters, that’s a whole different thing.

But if we want to help her? We have to speak love.


  1. posted on Aug 26, 2013 at 5:30 AM  |  reply

    Annie, you not only speak love, but compassion and wisdom. You know what? If anyone could get her to come to their place and hang out and be a true friend, it would be you.

    • jesse
      posted on Aug 26, 2013 at 8:54 PM  |  reply

      1300 Men women and children were killed with chemical weapons in Syria and all anyone cares about is this crack whore whose daddy didn’t spank her more often.

      • Jeannette
        posted on Aug 27, 2013 at 10:50 AM  |  reply

        Jesse, I understand your frustration, and yes, what happened in Syria is terrible. There are many tragedies going on all over the world. However, the welfare of our children is important as well. We are capable of focusing on more than one issue. We must remain vigilant in praying for our children, our nation and our world.

      • Sky
        posted on Aug 29, 2013 at 10:27 PM  |  reply

        Well, we do care about Syria, but some parents are worried about their teenagers, my mother definitely does!

      • nancy
        posted on Sep 02, 2013 at 11:06 AM  |  reply

        Her daddy is the one who led her. We have to pray for all of the issues. I think of Lindsey Lohman or whatever, Paris Hilton you could go on and on. Janet Jackson, Britney Spears, Jessica Simpson( and her dad was a preacher). I pray for them, but also my own children and the children dying in the world from hunger and abuse, and just plain neglect. It is not a good world. What are we doing to make it better?

      • janel
        posted on Sep 03, 2013 at 11:15 AM  |  reply

        Hi Jesse. I have a side to me that responds your way instantly, 10 times a day, at least. It is so difficult to comprehend the injustice and sickness in this world! But then the spiritual side in me that I try to keep in balance with the physical and mental parts, screams louder than the disgust and hate in my heart, ” Be the change you want to see”. It’s a scream in a whisper, such are the mysteries of life. I wish I can fix all of it but I accept that I can do MY part. Where I was put in this place and time with the voice I have been given. With this next breath, I will say a prayer and send positive thoughts to Miley. With my next minute, I am going to check the news about congress and if Obama is influencing them to send a powerful message without retracting in fear. Somehow I will see how I can influence my congressman to represent MY voice. Usually signing petitions, calling and leaving a message (they actually never answer their own phone, go figure, etc…….) Make every word in love for the minute you find yourself in. There is a way to say everything the right way. Take care.

    • Gina
      posted on Aug 26, 2013 at 10:16 PM  |  reply

      Well the media is run by satan. So many so called stars are either mind controlled (you can google (MK Ultra) Disney is a huge mind control center or they have sold their souls for fame. We can pray that she will break free from the mind control that she is under, but it is more than what appears to most people. Her father is her handler. Do a little research. The illuminati are running this world.

    • Simon D
      posted on Aug 27, 2013 at 2:52 PM  |  reply

      Lets be real. Anyone with a little discernment (who is born again) can tell that this girl is possessed by demons. I say that in all sincerity. She doesn’t even know what she is doing. Like these other pop stars with their alter ego’s.

      • Pablo
        posted on Aug 27, 2013 at 11:37 PM  |  reply

        All judgement aside, I agree with Simon. Annie. I would love to see how it goes down when you speak with Miley, if it ever happens. We can “talk” about everything we would do if we talked to her but ultimately how do you convince someone there is something wrong with them? Alone its impossible. We can only assume what the outcome would be. I am just curious as to why she made the original video and a short while after the new video comes out she is a suspected to be apart of the illuminati cult then comes out with a show like this, it just seems like someone cashing in on the opportunity and attention ulimately choosing to sell herself, who knows only God. Just the way she exited the teddy bear was very demonic. I have been apart of deliverances where demons manifest in people, the person is the same but controlled like a puppet. Just like Jesus encountered so many times never once loving the demonic, but commanding it to go with His authority out of love for the petson but people dont believe in that anymore.. Yes Jesus died for Miley but, long before that we were given freewill because of Eve. She has a choice and I have to believe this isnt the first blog ever written about aproaching her. I’m sure someone out there has spoken to her and well I’m sure there will be a concert in Texas. Maybe God is putting this on your heart. So I pray God gives you a way and the how and you bring His Kingdom to give her the encounter she needs. Remeber the demons will only laugh in our faces unless we resemble Jesus. God bless. GOD HATES THE SIN NOT THE SINNER.

      • Nazri
        posted on Oct 12, 2013 at 2:38 PM  |  reply

        so how do i really love?:

  2. posted on Aug 26, 2013 at 7:01 AM  |  reply

    Honestly, this question wasn’t even on my radar when I looked up the video this morning after hearing about it on the news. However, after reading your words of wisdom I am looking at this in a whole new way. Thanks for sharing the wisdom God laid on your heart.

    • Debbie
      posted on Aug 27, 2013 at 7:59 AM  |  reply

      I totally agree with Gina. My heart goes out to this sitiation but she is totally MK mindcontrolled. Miley does need alot of prayer and it is going to take a serious wakeup but both of her parents are in on selling her. She is under a great oppression and surrounded in deception controlling her feeding her drugs anvd taking her to places that socialize a society of powerful controllers.

  3. Aimee Powel
    posted on Aug 26, 2013 at 7:44 AM  |  reply

    This is exactly how I felt years ago about Brittany Spears. I still wish I could be her friend, love on her and show her the love of Jesus!
    I would like to spend time with Miley too.

  4. posted on Aug 26, 2013 at 8:16 AM  |  reply

    Yes sister. I used to pray often for Britney Spears in the same way. Poor wounded fluttering birds is exactly right. Could have been my daughter, could have been me 🙁

    • Melanie
      posted on Aug 26, 2013 at 2:42 PM  |  reply

      This WAS me. Absolutely a valid point we should all remember. Thanks for making it.

  5. posted on Aug 26, 2013 at 9:13 AM  |  reply

    Amen, sweet Annie!

  6. Jennifer
    posted on Aug 26, 2013 at 9:16 AM  |  reply

    She needs love. I think she believes that everyone still sees her as Hanna Montana.I see her as a smart sweet girl begging to be seen as an adult. She has no Idea that she is really acting more as a child than a adult. Lets not place blame but pray! ; )

    • Jen
      posted on Aug 28, 2013 at 9:06 AM  |  reply

      Yes! I agree with you. She is a young adult looking to be seen not as the TV character she played for so long but as an adult. I happened to watch a TV special on Amanda Bines last night and I see the same thing. They are both looking to validation as adults and not as the child actors they used to be.

  7. posted on Aug 26, 2013 at 9:21 AM  |  reply

    Yes. Yes! I’ve been thinking about compassion so much lately, and I think you are absolutely right. Only Love will save Miley. Only Love has saved me.

  8. Denise Vick
    posted on Aug 26, 2013 at 9:21 AM  |  reply

    It always amazes me how quickly we who call ourselves “Christ-like” jump on the condemnation wagon. I have grown to hate the WWJD slogan that was so prevalent years ago, but we all need to ask ourselves exactly that question. What would Jesus do with Miley? I think we all know. And we all should be ashamed of our thoughts over the last 12 hours. If we would just stop and think what an asset this child could be for the kingdom, we would hit our knees and lift her up before God. You’re right, Annie. She is broken. But we all know what that’s like, right? God’s grace covers my brokenness and it can cover Miley’s too. thank you for your post.

    • posted on Aug 27, 2013 at 3:23 PM  |  reply

      Denise, I was basically thinking the same thing. At first, I was disgusted with her display, but through the day, I realized that we all do things we are ashamed of; maybe not in public, but we all have our skeletons. Miley is a precious daughter of the King, and she is not so far gone that she can’t be covered in Jesus’ blood. I will be praying for her, and praying that someone will come alongside her and bring her to Jesus.

    • posted on Aug 31, 2013 at 7:32 AM  |  reply

      “She is broken. But we all know what that’s like, right?”

      Wise and thoughtful words. Bless you.

  9. Helemarie Reavis
    posted on Aug 26, 2013 at 9:32 AM  |  reply

    Oh Sweetie, you are so right. Yes, we need to be showing her Love and Compassion. And be lifting her up in Prayer, real Prayers. Dear Lord, please send someone who truly Loves you to minister to her. Please Abba.

  10. posted on Aug 26, 2013 at 9:41 AM  |  reply


    The message of Speak Love is STRONG, so very strong. I hadn’t thought about it in context of (blessherheart) Miley’s exhibitionism, but I wrote about that very thing over the weekend…and thought about your book, though I haven’t read it yet. I just know its title and that’s enough.

    (if you’re interested, it’s , the story how a woman speaking LOVE and kindness diffused a human, armed time bomb)

  11. kamyarad
    posted on Aug 26, 2013 at 9:41 AM  |  reply

    My heart resonates with what you say. I could not help praying desperately for her last night as I saw her brokeness. What a lost little girl

  12. posted on Aug 26, 2013 at 9:50 AM  |  reply

    I love this post. I also love that I am not the only person who truly prayed for Britney Spears as she was going through her hard time all while people watched. I mean, they are celebrities, but they are just people too. They are children growing up in a crazy Hollywood world. Definitely sharing this post!

  13. Joanna
    posted on Aug 26, 2013 at 9:54 AM  |  reply

    I was actually logging on to FB to post a picture of the Will Smith family’s reaction to Miley’s performance when I saw the link to your blog. I was going to post this link as something humorous, but there’s so much more to this story than people’s reactions. This is a young woman who needs Jesus. It’s as simple as that. I didn’t post my link and I prayed for her. Thanks for this reminder that she is a person made in the image of God and as such deserves compassion and respect, no matter what her actions last night.

  14. Karen
    posted on Aug 26, 2013 at 10:00 AM  |  reply

    Yes, speaking love to her is great, but we also must speak truth to her in love.

    • Kath
      posted on Sep 02, 2013 at 6:45 PM  |  reply

      And that truth is WHOM? Interesting that so many felt “compelled” to watch this display of OUR brokenness depicted in this manipulated young woman’s performance. Inside the church as well as outside the church…all sitting in front of wide-screen TV sets or computer screens soaking up whatever is dished out for public consumption. The list of “celebrities” mentioned on this thread is also interesting to behold. We’re a celebrity culture aren’t we? INSIDE THE CHURCH, AS WELL AS OUTSIDE THE CHURCH. Gosh…I can’t “imagine” why the world looks at the GOSPEL message.. equates it with those in the church and thinks…yeh. Why bother. “I don’t see much difference..”. Everyone of us should consider reading A.W. Tozer’s
      book “The Pursuit of God”… I think we’ll have a much clearer understanding of why the world shuns and even abhors what many of us espouse. Can we blame them?

  15. posted on Aug 26, 2013 at 10:05 AM  |  reply

    annie, i am thankful you said “I’m not saying we ignore the influence she is having…” because in order for positive change to occur, we as adults (and especially Christ following youth and adults) need to not turn our heads nor have a blind eye to the ever expanding occurrences happening amongst our youth and within our culture.

    also, isn’t it interesting how majority of media provokes/stimulates bad behavior (ratings, its ALL for the ratings right?) and then after so many acts occur, sometimes that same media reprimands or tries to modify that type of behavior. for example: an affair is glamorized by the media in the film The Notebook but when a governing official or tiger woods does so, it is shamed upon. hence one is acting and the other is real life, but what is the difference then in miley dancing provocatively on stage encouraging “the girls with the big butts like we in the strip clubs” to do their thing (shes providing “acting/entertainment”), verses the girls who really do live that lifestyle to provide for their families (“real life”)?
    we as adults, especially Christ following adults, MUST communicate to bridge the double-minded gap, not only the media has but that so many in our culture encourages.

    and in order to communicate, we must stay relevant.

    relevance: it’s important. not only to see what is going on in our culture, but to speak out about it. not yell; not speak dirty against it; but to have interesting, thought provoking conversations with other adults and youth about what is happening, where it is honestly leading and can lead to. i believe that in these conversations, especially the conversations with the youth, it expands their thoughts of the here & now (“this is what brings attention to me” or “this is how i will be interesting or well liked”) and can provoke more thoughts of their self image and their self worth for their future (“i will be remembered by this” and “am i influencing or am a following” and “will these actions make positive outcomes for me in the next couple of years”).

    yes, to stay relevant is, well, lets face it: exhausting. BUT if we stay too busy on “us” “our schedules” or just choose the easy road of “sheltering our children” (which leads to ignorance), eventually curiosity creeps in and it leaves a pathway of potential for our youth to go down leaving them starving for answers and/or more attention and receiving their portions for satisfaction in all the wrong places.

    thanks for writing annie. it inspired me.

  16. posted on Aug 26, 2013 at 10:08 AM  |  reply

    yes to all of this.

  17. posted on Aug 26, 2013 at 10:14 AM  |  reply

    Her performance made me so sad for her. She is jacked up, we all are. The difference is that our coping abilities are not plastered in the lime light. She seems angry and maybe choas is a result of that. I wish she had support of people who could help her chill out and find real life some how. I am sad that she maybe doesn’t not self-worth in a real way. Famous or not, I’m sad that most people don’t no their worth and value as well.

  18. posted on Aug 26, 2013 at 10:23 AM  |  reply

    Yes… I watched this last night with my college (gasp) girl and we were both just so sad.

    Praying for her and us and that this – THIS message of Speaking Love to reach out and she will hear someone calling out to her in grace… calling her back home.

  19. Jessica
    posted on Aug 26, 2013 at 10:25 AM  |  reply

    what a great post Annie. Thank you for speaking LOVE and not judging her.

  20. posted on Aug 26, 2013 at 10:28 AM  |  reply

    I did not watch but my almost thirteen year old girl did. She commented “I am disturbed about Miley’s performance.” That is what she said. I had know idea what she had seen until this morning when I went to write up a blog post….and I saw all of the newsfeeds. You respond beautifully and thank you. Oh , Lord we have no idea what is it is like to live under that kind of microscope. Mercy. Mercy, mercy for us all. I know I have behaved in worse ways before coming to Christ in my late twenties. Obviously not before millions but still. Your response is a blessing and I will share.

  21. Sarah S.
    posted on Aug 26, 2013 at 10:28 AM  |  reply

    Yes. I haven’t watched it, but have seen PLENTY of still shots. And I’m just so sad. For all of us, but mostly for her — that no one will hug her and say, “Honey, what are you doing? I love you without all of that…”

  22. posted on Aug 26, 2013 at 10:28 AM  |  reply

    I can’t find the video now, looks like it’s been taken down off of YouTube, but whatever she did or said, your words are stronger Annie. Love is the only way to bring change. It’s God’s kindness that lead us to repentance. Thanks for the reminder.

  23. posted on Aug 26, 2013 at 10:39 AM  |  reply

    Absolutely right. I saw a clip of the performance, and it was like I could hear her soul screaming in my head.

    This is a good word, Annie Downs. A good word.

  24. Maxine
    posted on Aug 26, 2013 at 10:44 AM  |  reply

    I remember the first time I glimpsed her video everyone was talking about – I was taken aback, and I still don’t even know what that song was about because all I kept on hearing was – Help me! Please someone help me! I don’t know if she is where she is against her will, or she is being led to believe that this is her will. I don’t know what happened to Miley Cyrus, something broke, Jesus can fix it. Something tells me she knows this too. Maybe we can pray she remembers that it is only in Christ that we find out who we truly are.

  25. posted on Aug 26, 2013 at 10:45 AM  |  reply

    Love this post!! Compassion is the wise and wonderful way to live, and you embodied that perfectly Annie.

  26. Debbie
    posted on Aug 26, 2013 at 10:59 AM  |  reply

    Home run Annie…God sees her..and no doubt weeps…God sees those who truly reach out to her and says “go ahead…yes she is mine…I want to bring her back and make something new”

  27. KD
    posted on Aug 26, 2013 at 11:13 AM  |  reply

    Wait, sorry, why does Miley need help? Can someone explain this to me?

    When I watch this video, I see a confident 20 year old woman (not a teenager, by the way) making her own art her own way, thriving in life and having a great time doing it.

    She is in excellent shape–physically fit, not celebrity-anorexic, not overweight. So physically, she requires no help, and is probably doing better than 99% of the people reading this comment.

    She appears to be in excellent control of her instrument. Her singing voice sounded strong and powerful, frankly quite a bit better than Robin Thicke. So she’s doing great there. Can anybody reading this comment sing better than Miley Cyrus?

    She looked like she was having a blast, genuinely smiling, enjoying the performance. Judging by her Twitter it seems like she’s having a great life. So in terms of emotional stability and life satisfaction? Probably doing way better than 99% of the people reading this comment.

    Some aspects of the performance were a little bizarre or avant-garde. The mouse leotard thing was a little puzzling, but you could see it as her attempt to further distance herself from Disney as she works to build her own brand and her own image. Once she whipped off the leotard, she wasn’t dressed any differently than the girls in Robin Thicke’s actual music video for “Blurred Lines,” and her dancing was no more risque. I don’t see this blog going after Robin Thicke, though, despite the fact that his song was pretty misogynistic and the video objectifies women. Artistically, I think she is, again, doing better than 99% of the people reading this comment.

    Are we worried because she made a reference to molly? Do you guys know what molly is, have you investigated the research around it? Do you know it’s proven more effective than psychotherapy or medication in the treatment of depression, anxiety and PTSD? That it is in every way a more positive drug than alcohol, which most of you probably consume at least semi-regularly? Seems like Miley is aware of that, and I have no problem with her giving positive publicity to a substance that has been unfairly maligned by our government’s expensive, unproductive, socially harmful war on drugs. So I’d say her perspective on molly is probably better than that of 99% of the people reading this comment.

    Finally, she has managed to be the #1 headline-grabber post-VMA. Even moreso than the N Sync reunion. So guess what? From a marketing perspective, she made a serious coup last night. Better than 99% of the people performing at the VMAs.

    Maybe instead of talking about how we should “help” Miley, we should try to learn some lessons from her success. But I guess anytime someone does something unusual on their own terms, the hater brigade will come out in full force–we just can’t stand when someone has a better life than we do, after all.

    • Patricia
      posted on Aug 26, 2013 at 12:02 PM  |  reply

      Miley is like so many other young, beautiful women who get taken up by the Hollywood/Music culture and honestly, exploited, trashed, used up, and then hounded and ridiculed by the media when the wheels come off. So many of these suddenly successful, rich and famous people, women and men alike, end up on anti-depressant meds, or they self-medicate with alcohol and cocaine, and then end up in rehab, jail, or dead. That’s what’s wrong. Do you honestly believe that just having money and success is all that matters in the world? If that were so, you would not see/hear about so many of these young people committing suicide or being drug addicts with multiple marriages, kids without marriage– it’s truly a violation of what used to be clearly drawn lines of right and wrong behavior. And while these lines may be blurred and ever moving because the culture is moving– that doesn’t automatically mean it’s going in the right direction. She’s a victim here, and I believe on some level she knows that, and she is telling herself that she can pull it back whenever she wants and somehow she will be different and she will survive. That’s a normal human tendency when we are in over our heads. I thought I remember her parents being pretty solid people (Christian?)– just wondering what they were thinking when they got her going in all of this as Hanna Montana, what they envisioned happening to her along the way, and what influence they have tried to have as things move down a very predictable road of self-destruct. Sad.

      • KD
        posted on Aug 26, 2013 at 12:16 PM  |  reply

        Do you have evidence that Miley is on anti-depressants, or that she is addicted to alcohol or cocaine? I know she smokes marijuana and has shown an interest in psychedelic drugs like MDMA, salvia and LSD (which are the opposite of addictive and almost uniformly lead to positive growth), but not “dangerous” drugs like alcohol or cocaine. I’ve heard that about other celebrities, but not Miley. She seems like the rare case that pretty much has it together.

      • KD
        posted on Aug 26, 2013 at 12:19 PM  |  reply

        Also, no, I actually didn’t even mention money. I do believe career success is important, people should be able to support themselves.

        I mentioned a number of other criteria–emotional stability, physical health, life satisfaction, etc. She seems to be knocking it out of the park on all of them.

        • KD
          posted on Aug 26, 2013 at 12:20 PM  |  reply

          She also doesn’t have multiple marriage, kids outside of marriage, and as far as I can see, no evidence of drug addiction.

        • posted on Aug 26, 2013 at 3:36 PM  |  reply

          I agree that people SHOULD be able to support themselves, KD, but there are healthier, classier and less self-deprecating ways of doing so.

          I’ve read your comments here and I’ve gotta tell you, KD, they are disturbing to me. Just because Miley Cyrus doesn’t have multiple marriages, children outside of marriage, any physical, public evidence of drug addiction, doesn’t make last night’s VMA performance any less tragic and outrageous (in the most negative sense of the word). I know of people who rant and rave and complain about every little thing on social media, but the majority of people put their best ‘game face’ out there, posting & Tweeting about their wonderful lives, families, marriages, children, jobs, etc.

          Plus, besides being a singer, Miley is an actress, so of course she ‘looked’ confident. Why on earth would she go onstage in front of so many looking and acting like a low self-esteem whiner baby?

          Making globs of money, having your face (and other body parts) plastered everywhere and maintaining a successful career : is this truly thriving at life? Is THAT what our lives are supposed to be all about?

          Or is there so much more…and so much better out there? I believe that there is.

          I cannot tell from your username whether you or male or female, but in any case…do you have children? Would you want your sons or daughters to have witnessed Miley’s performance last night? Would you encourage them and tell them, “You, too, could do that and become successful!” I’d find that hard to believe if your answer was ‘yes,’ KD.

          In my honest opinion, I think many people are more outraged over Miley than Robin Thicke’s song and video only because of where she came from: a sweet, funny and talented young girl with a TV show that so many other young girls watched and enjoyed, and whether Miley planned to or not, and liked it or not, both Miley AND her Hannah Montana character became positive role models for them. You can still be a sweet, funny and talented adult without resorting to obscene and out-of-control behavior.

          Most importantly of all, in God’s eyes, Miley Cyrus is worth SO much more in the truest sense of the word than all of this.

          • KD
            posted on Aug 26, 2013 at 4:27 PM  |  

            If I were watching that video with my kids, I would tell them that I love them just the way they are, and so does God. And if they went out and twerked all over Robin Thicke, I’d still tell them the exact same thing.

          • Drea
            posted on Aug 26, 2013 at 11:14 PM  |  

            Also, just having kids out of wed-lock or being divorced doesn’t make you any less of a person. You cannot base someone’s life off of what they post on their twitter or facebook accounts. “99%” of people on the internet are only going to post things to their twitter and facebook that make them out in a positive light.

    • Darien Weiner
      posted on Aug 26, 2013 at 1:12 PM  |  reply

      Yes! Finally someone who’s not drinking the outrage punch. No one seems to think that Robin Thicke needs help! Miley Cyrus is owning her own sexuality! You go, girl!

      • posted on Aug 26, 2013 at 3:05 PM  |  reply

        Darien, I don’t see how parading your half-naked self in front of millions of people (young ones included) and twerking/grinding up against a married man onstage, in front of his wife, constitutes ‘owning’ your sexuality. This is not mature, adult behavior. Also, I’m not applauding or avoiding Robin Thicke, either. He’s a married father, for heaven’s sake. I’m sure one day his son, who is a toddler now, will see his videos and perhaps even see this performance. What will he think of his dad? Both Robin Thicke AND Miley Cyrus could certainly use our prayers, as well as some wise and loving counsel from some wise and loving people.

        • KD
          posted on Aug 26, 2013 at 3:14 PM  |  reply

          Sounds like Robin’s wife was OK with it.

          And how do you know what constitutes “owning your sexuality” for Miley Cyrus? What makes you the authority on mature, adult behavior? Mature adults take charge of their own lives and careers, which Miley is certainly doing, considering that she is #1 on iTunes right now, and not to mention the fact that she is totally using people like you to further her own marketing…

          • posted on Aug 26, 2013 at 3:44 PM  |  

            Just because Thicke’s wife is ‘ok’ with it, doesn’t make it right.

            And no one really knows exactly what goes on in Miley’s head…and her heart…at the end of the day, when the makeup comes off and she lays her head down on her pillow. If perhaps now or later she is feeling sad, lonely or regretful…being #1 on iTunes and using people like me to further her own marketing & her career just by our chit-chatting about her on blogs, news feeds and social media sites may prove to be of little comfort to her. Just sayin.’

      • Raven
        posted on Aug 26, 2013 at 9:31 PM  |  reply

        Thank Darien. Here’s a good article on this: I find most of these other comments rather patronizing.

    • Anna
      posted on Aug 26, 2013 at 3:50 PM  |  reply

      If this were a blog targeted toward a male readership of nearly forty year old men, I’m sure Annie would have targeted Robin Thicke. For someone who is so quickly coming to Miley’s defense, it seems you’ve missed so many articles about her in the last two years that call the very things you say she is successful at into question. For one, her relationships with both her parents and boyfriend seem shaky at best. Google Miley Cyrus and you’ll get tons of articles pointing to not only concerns about her drug use (illegal drugs are illegal, no matter the benefits and that is wrong), her emotional health, and even how she keeps her figure which has long been rumored to be due to drugs and crazy dieting. While these rumors cannot be proven, neither can any of the positive points you make about Miley.

      Also, let me point out that virtually no one is talking about Lady Gaga. That’s because we expect that crazy, artsy, avant-garde behavior from her and that seems to be who she is, even if I don’t love it. Miley doesn’t seem to be displaying her character or true passions in life by doing anything she did last night. Maybe by speaking love to her, she can discover who she truly is instead of trying to be someone in Hollywood that takes things one step too far.

      • KD
        posted on Aug 26, 2013 at 4:23 PM  |  reply

        Oh goodness, you mean a teenage girl had a shaky romantic relationship and some trouble getting along with her parents? Stop the presses.

        Besides that, though, if my parents had thrust me out into the spotlight when I was too young to have any say in the situation, and then spent years profiting off of me, I might be a little annoyed with them too. (Did you know that until recently she was contractually not allowed to change her hairstyle?! If you want to be mad at somebody get mad at Billy Ray for whoring out his own daughter!)

        But after that, I suppose I’d try to make the best of it, possibly by reclaiming my career and trying to make a go of things on my own terms, without anybody else telling me how I have to look or act. And I wouldn’t bother much with trying to have middle ground or please anybody, because as far as I would be concerned, if the career wasn’t going to work out the way I wanted it to, they could keep it.

        To me, you can’t “speak love” to someone unless you’re willing to do it from a place of acceptance, and you don’t “speak love” by telling someone you don’t like the way they dress or the way they dance (or even the way they talk to their parents). I think when you guys say “speak love” what you mean is “we’ll love you if you start acting like Hannah Montana again.” If Miley needs to hear anything (and again, she seems to be handling things just fine), she needs to hear that she is totally free to be whatever person she wants to be. Even if it annoys somebody with a blog somewhere.

        • posted on Aug 26, 2013 at 5:03 PM  |  reply

          KD…honestly, I don’t think that’s what most are saying here: that

          “We’ll love you if you start acting like Hannah Montana again.”

          Myself, I certainly wouldn’t expect an almost 21 year old to continue to act like a preteen/teen girl. But as I mentioned earlier, it is possible to still be a sweet, funny and talented adult without resorting to obscene, over-the-top and out-of-control behavior. You can still be successful without selling out or doing things in public for shock value to gain more notoriety.

          However, my feelings are that you CAN ‘speak love’ to someone BECAUSE you love THEM.

          But you don’t have to accept, condone nor applaud what they do.

          There was a season in my life when I acted like a disobedient, disrespectful total jerk. And I was a bit older than Miley Cyrus. My father and stepmother spoke the truth in love to me — hating what I was doing, but not hating me.

          And isn’t that how God was — and still is — with us? While He despises our entangling, distracting sins, He doesn’t despise us, but pursues us and speaks to us in love, always desiring for us to be back on track with Him.

        • Jolene
          posted on Aug 26, 2013 at 5:11 PM  |  reply

          Sounds like KD needs someone to speak love to him/her as much as Miley.

  28. camila
    posted on Aug 26, 2013 at 11:22 AM  |  reply

    Maybe this is what she needs to do to grow as a person. Maybe this is her own unique path. Maybe she’s doing it for the shock-factor (gets more publicity and totally planned for). Or maybe there is mass hysteria surrounding her because of her child stardom – and because now she is a young adult following the same sexual innuendo we have been seeing in music videos for the past 10 years. Maybe we can’t handle her behavior because of what WE have projected on to HER. Maybe it’s our problem, not hers.

    • posted on Aug 26, 2013 at 3:46 PM  |  reply

      I’m sorry, Camilia, but I just can’t agree with your comment. There is enough societal damage being done by people failing to own their problematic behavior by pointing the finger at and blaming others for it.

  29. posted on Aug 26, 2013 at 11:32 AM  |  reply

    I’ve been thinking the same thing all morning.

  30. Daniel Blanchard
    posted on Aug 26, 2013 at 11:41 AM  |  reply

    This is the first time I have read a christian blog and actually felt like the person writing might believe in what they say they do. If only more of those people were like you.

  31. Hillary
    posted on Aug 26, 2013 at 11:47 AM  |  reply

    You are so right. I felt a few things watching this last night. I felt embarrassed for her. I felt ashamed that this is the culture we live in, and if I’m being honest, I was a little disgusted. Little girls look to her for Hanna Montana and last night we got a jumbled mess of a girl. My heart hurts for her. And other girls like her. I don’t know why the “industry” makes these girls feel like they need to break out of the “good girl” shell. I grasp tightly to that image. We all need that.

  32. posted on Aug 26, 2013 at 11:48 AM  |  reply

    Oh, Annie. Such beautiful truth. Thank you.

    • posted on Aug 26, 2013 at 12:45 PM  |  reply

      Do you two know each other? Because you should. Annie, meet Diana. Diana, meet Annie. Two people I adore.

  33. Vicki
    posted on Aug 26, 2013 at 11:59 AM  |  reply

    This was a great write. I can remember visiting her church. On one occasion the church asked people not to bother she and her family when/if they came in. Sad. These are the friends and family she grew up with, the people that kept her grounded. Thank you for reminding us to love her back to that place.

  34. posted on Aug 26, 2013 at 12:18 PM  |  reply

    Yes! Yes! Yes! I love the heart behind this. I was saddened thinking how her dad must literally have an achey breaky heart. Yes, from a marketing standpoint she succeeded, but how does someone so young handle the applause and hatred? Like you, I see an incredibly broken person. I hope the Christian community will show love and not spew hatred toward her. I’m far from a fan of that action, but definitely see someone who is screaming for attention.

  35. Tim
    posted on Aug 26, 2013 at 12:22 PM  |  reply

    You want to help her, I get that. People cannot be helped, though, until they see their need for help. I imagine she laid her head on her pillow thinking something like, “Yeah, I nailed that performace tonight!” I see articles on the shelves at the grocery checkout lines every time talking about this young star who died of an OD, or matthew perry’s struggle to return from addiction. There is truly nothing new under the sun. I don’t have an answer for why God allows some to come back from the brink and other to be lost forever to drugs or death. I just trust that in His sovereignty He knows what He is doing.

    • posted on Aug 26, 2013 at 2:57 PM  |  reply

      All the more reason to pray for her, and others like her in the celeb industry, Tim.

  36. Wayne
    posted on Aug 26, 2013 at 12:31 PM  |  reply

    Same way we should address any sinner in need of grace — Preach the cross and Christ death upon it. Though foolishness to man, it is the power of salvation to them that will believe. After she addresses the matter of her standing before God….. all else will fall into place.

  37. posted on Aug 26, 2013 at 12:44 PM  |  reply


  38. Gary
    posted on Aug 26, 2013 at 12:56 PM  |  reply

    I agree.

  39. posted on Aug 26, 2013 at 12:58 PM  |  reply

    This is how I feel about so many on tv – esp reality tv. Have you seen the Breaking Amish? I finally had to deleted it off my DVR list and just pray for those lost little puppies. This world so needs Jesus.

  40. Megan
    posted on Aug 26, 2013 at 1:41 PM  |  reply

    Thank you for writing this, Annie. It’s caused me to be a lot more conscious of my words about Miley in the middle of this controversy.

  41. Anonymous
    posted on Aug 26, 2013 at 1:46 PM  |  reply

    Pray for Egypt, not Miley.

    • posted on Aug 26, 2013 at 2:56 PM  |  reply

      Why not pray for both?

      • Anonymous
        posted on Aug 26, 2013 at 3:51 PM  |  reply

        Because your attention should be on the hundreds of people dying in Egypt or in Syria or even in America. How about human trafficking? How about the homeless? Why are you wasting your time praying for a millionaire who is doing all of this for publicity and attention? You said it yourself, no one knows how she feels. She seems perfectly fine enjoying her fame and fortune.

        • posted on Aug 26, 2013 at 4:25 PM  |  reply

          Darlin’, praying for anyone — be they millionaire or pauper — is NEVER a waste of time. We are being obedient to God by bringing the concerns and needs that are on our minds and hearts to Him. My attention can be on Egypt, Syria, America, and Miley Cyrus, as well as my family, friends, neighbors, coworkers and community. It certainly helps me to write them all down, but there are times it becomes a ‘pray-on-the-spot’ kind of thing, as I read about or hear of a need.

          While I’m not, never have been or ever plan to be a celebrity, at one time I, too, ‘seemed’ to be enjoying my life on the outside. But on the inside, it was quite a different story. At the time, I was too filled with pride to ask for help of any kind — be it physical, tangible assistance or spiritual prayer support — but there were people in my life whom I hadn’t seen or heard from in a while (some in a long while) that would call me out of the blue at my worst moment to say they felt an urgency to call me and pray for me. Or those with whom I spoke later on down the road and they told me they had been praying for me over the years without really being sure why or what the need was. I’m so very grateful for each of those folks who prayed and continue to pray for me.

          I believe that God cares as much about Miley Cyrus — and me and you, Anonymous — as He does about the people of Egypt. And everywhere, for that matter.

          • Anonymous
            posted on Aug 27, 2013 at 10:09 AM  |  

            Ok, enjoy your prayer high horse. You’re such an amazing Christian. You always have time to pray for everyone, I’m so impressed by you and how great of a lover of Jesus you are. You’re certainly going to go to heaven for caring so much about everyone.

          • posted on Aug 28, 2013 at 8:26 AM  |  

            As I recall, Anonymous, it was you who began this thread by saying “Pray for Egypt, not Miley.”

            I certainly don’t consider myself amazing, Christian or not, nor am I on any high horse, prayer or otherwise. I don’t always have time to pray for everyone and everything because I’m not perfect. Nothing I wrote was for the purpose of impressing you or anyone else.

            Your comment is unkind and wasn’t necessary, and I have to wonder what is going on in your life to cause you to leave such angry, caustic comments on a blog by a Christian woman. What was it that brought you to Annie’s blogsite, Anonymous?

  42. posted on Aug 26, 2013 at 1:55 PM  |  reply

    John 8:7
    “They kept demanding an answer, so he stood up again and said, “All right, but let the one who has never sinned throw the first stone!”

    Jesus was so intense with the religious people who were so ready to stone the woman caught in adultery.

    I really don’t want to fall into that category.

    God help us love well.

  43. posted on Aug 26, 2013 at 2:03 PM  |  reply

    Amen…as I prayed for her this morning I thought the same thing. So, so sad. Just pray.

  44. posted on Aug 26, 2013 at 2:08 PM  |  reply

    Wow. This totally gave me a different perspective. Thank you so much.

  45. posted on Aug 26, 2013 at 2:46 PM  |  reply

    I used to pray for Brittany, too, and she does need much prayer. She’s headed down the wrong road at a rapid pace if she doesn’t get the help she needs. Maybe she was trying to shock. If so, she did what she aimed to do. Maybe she was rebelling. Whatever her reasons, I can only imagine how worse she will probably feel when she finds out people’s reactions. She needs love and prayers. If not for God’s grace, there I go, or my daughters. Prayers.

  46. posted on Aug 26, 2013 at 2:54 PM  |  reply

    […] My friend Annie has a great post on how to respond to what happened in her post How Do We Help Miley? […]

  47. posted on Aug 26, 2013 at 2:57 PM  |  reply

    Sure, let’s give her love! She’s a grown woman who can make her own choices, not an exploited teenager. More power to her if she’s coming to a place where she feels like she can express herself in yet another way.

  48. Sarah
    posted on Aug 26, 2013 at 3:01 PM  |  reply

    Sweet Annie Blogs!

    I love everything about this post. It challenges the way I look at my own students who are a hot mess. It challenges the way I look at friends, and the celebrities I don’t know but judge anyway. Loving is not condoning – loving is helping to set someone free, loving is healing balm on terrible wounds. Thank you so much for sharing today!

  49. posted on Aug 26, 2013 at 3:04 PM  |  reply

    […] She linked me up to Annie Blogs.  The post she wanted me to read?  One where Annie talks about how we help a girl like Miley Cyrus, who, if you’ve been on the internet anywhere close to a social media site in the last 24 […]

  50. KiraDancer
    posted on Aug 26, 2013 at 3:08 PM  |  reply

    My heart cried for Miley last night. I feel very strongly that something happened to her that broke her and made her snap. Maybe her parents’ struggles or an abusive relationship. I don’t know. But I do know it seems like only yesterday that she was making videos with her best friend on YouTube and they talked about how they love Jesus and he died for you and me. It was only a few years ago that she wrote in her autobiography that it makes her sad when people don’t know Jesus. 6 short years ago she asked her dad for her famous pearl promise ring.
    Deep down she remembers Jesus. She probably feels too far gone to return to Him. I want to sit with her and remind her how beautiful and loved she is and how Christ still sees her as washed pure white in His blood…that He removes her sins as far from her as east is from west. I think she needs someone to tell her that her mistakes dont define her.
    She’s overcompensating for her feelings of shame and guilt by very strongly glorifying her own shame. I think she thinks if she acts confident in all this sexual behavior then people will think it’s where she intended to end up and maybe she’s hoping to convince herself in the process as well.
    I’m sure deep down though she can’t believe she’s ended up here
    My heart breaks for her and I am praying.

    • KD
      posted on Aug 26, 2013 at 4:24 PM  |  reply

      Where did you get your mind reading machine? I’d like to buy one.

  51. posted on Aug 26, 2013 at 3:13 PM  |  reply

    Love this perspective. Challenging to think that way! Thanks for sharing!

  52. Stacey
    posted on Aug 26, 2013 at 4:53 PM  |  reply

    I’ve been feeling similarlly (is that a word? No? Oh well) I think there are two problems with Miley that if aren’t fixed she’ll never change/learn/grow etc.

    1. she’s on drugs. I know this sounds kind of stupid. A cliche, almost, but I think a lot of her behavior is because of the drugs she’s been doing (and making no effort to hide it. Read this article about her reference to ecstasy in We Can’t Stop:

    2. She honestly, truly, doesn’t understand what she’s doing. She doesn’t get why people rag on her. She thinks she is the one in the right and people are hating because they’re just uptight people. Its amazing to me how she’s so far gone that she doesn’t even see herself. She doesn’t understand why MTV wants to censor her, why parents of the little girls who watched Hannah Montana think she’s a horrible role model, why her parents try to control her. She has this victim attitude, that everyone is against her and she doesn’t get WHY. Until she opens her eyes, even just a little, she’ll never have the opportunity to change.

    The best way we can help Miley (realistically. I mean sure, I’d love to sit down with her and tell her what’s up in a rational way but chances are I won’t get that chance) is to pray for wisdom. Pray for God to give her one moment of clarity so that she can gain a little perspective. She needs it.

  53. posted on Aug 26, 2013 at 5:11 PM  |  reply

    So glad to read a blog/comment/tweet that I agree with about Miley. I’m saddened for her. Screaming about what she did never helps. Only Love can make a difference.

  54. Callie
    posted on Aug 26, 2013 at 5:54 PM  |  reply

    I agree except for the part where she becomes a ‘project’. By saying she’s ‘broken’, which I don’t contest, we elevate ourselves over her….She knows who Jesus is, she was raised to know Him…and she turned her back. I’m not saying God gives up on people at all, but until she WANTS to change, He’s the only one who can reach her. She’s said in multiple interviews something along the lines of “I did the whole ‘let other people tell me what to do, how to act, who to be’ routine….now I took a 2-year break and emerged the artist I WANT to be, the person I AM….I have enough money now that I can be who I am, and f*** up like anyone else, and just have fun doing whatever I want and it’s okay. It’s for me at this point. If the fans like it, great. If not, f*** it. They don’t have to. This is MY career and I just wanna have fun with it.”

    She knows exactly what she’s doing and the outcomes. She’s simply rebelling and being 100% self-centered. She said it herself, all she cares about is what SHE wants. Until God breaks through that heart of stone, I think we just need to protect our kids from the displays we saw last night from her and others. It’s a sad state when it’s not even about the music anymore. Pray for her, sure. Refrain from openly bashing her all across the internet, absolutely. Show love towards ‘wayward souls’ like her present in our own lives, absolutely. But we can’t see them as a ‘spiritual project’. That’s not only arrogant, but ineffective. When we ‘speak love’ or have any course of action with an expectation, we set ourselves up to fail…because it’s not our battle. Loving them with no expectation for change, simply faith that the Lord is big enough to do anything, but doesn’t always, is the only way to go. Otherwise, if they don’t change in our time frame, we quit on them, becoming yet another person who leaves them. Prayer is the key here. Praying Ephesians 1:18-19a over them and like you said, loving them–genuinely, without an agenda–will go much farther.

    • posted on Aug 26, 2013 at 6:01 PM  |  reply

      Wow. So very well said, Callie.

    • Amy
      posted on Sep 02, 2013 at 8:56 AM  |  reply

      Really love your comment, Callie.

  55. Nancy
    posted on Aug 26, 2013 at 5:57 PM  |  reply

    I completely agree!! I remember inviting Madonna out to our country house years back for a chance to just get away from the noise and be a simple girl……I feel the same way about these girls. We are all just girls inside and want to be special. The world is full of stupid lies about how to stay on top of the entertainment industry. She got us talking about her, but the down side is so sad.

  56. posted on Aug 26, 2013 at 6:25 PM  |  reply

    Oh, I love this post. I felt so sad for her last night. Embarrased, also, but mostly sad. I remember watching her in an interview with Oprah when she was just a young teen. Nearly the entire interview was about her strong belief in God, and her family values. Where is that girl now? She has to be in there somewhere, she’s just a little lost. It was clear that she’s crying for help. Her performance didn’t make sense, and I hope that she realizes that sooner or later.

  57. posted on Aug 26, 2013 at 6:27 PM  |  reply

    I was here this morning, and I’ve been thinking about this post all day. To help anyone who’s broken, we have to speak love. Oh, to remember this.

  58. posted on Aug 26, 2013 at 6:34 PM  |  reply

    Thanks, Annie. Several friends directed me here today.

    For me, this was quite the convicting blog post, as I can easily and often make snap judgment calls on another (especially celebrities), completely forgetting my own very checkered, rebellious and outrageously sinful past.

    It was also very interesting to read everyone else’s comments (and I continue doing so), as well as getting to interact with some of those folks here.

    While we personally cannot go to Miley Cyrus and speak loving words of truth and wise counsel to her, we CAN commit to pray for her, right where we are. It’s the best thing we can do.

  59. Carol
    posted on Aug 26, 2013 at 7:26 PM  |  reply

    We watched this show, and really I should have known better. I decided to watch it with my 14 y/o and discuss what we saw. I was expecting Gaga to be raunchy, but she was not. Naked, but not nasty. We both watched in horror as Miley shredded her image. My daughter left the room and did not come back, When she did, I turned it off and we sat down and prayed. I prayed for forgiveness for being so dumb as to think it wouldn’t get too bad. And we prayed, thanking God for making Miley Cyrus, and for taking her sin on the cross just the same as he did mine. My daughter and I talked, a lot. We discussed how all sin is sin, no one’s is worse…just more gross or shocking, but still sin is sin. Just because we weren’t making out on tv and being vulgar, we are still sinners and all need forgiveness. We prayed together, that she will be convicted of her sin and will turn from it. We also asked that the young girls who look up to her will see how NOT to behave.
    We are still praying. I shouldn’t have watched it, but I am glad we could use it as an object lesson.

    • Rev Kitty Newton
      posted on Aug 26, 2013 at 8:35 PM  |  reply

      well said

  60. posted on Aug 26, 2013 at 7:28 PM  |  reply

    So so beautiful! and very true. I hope many people read this and their hearts are softened to the hurting.

    I wrote a similar post about what I wish I could say to Mylie. I think there are lots of Mylie’s out there and our hearts need to be open to them all.

  61. Rev Kitty Newton
    posted on Aug 26, 2013 at 8:33 PM  |  reply

    Thank you so much for being the voice of reason in a world gone mad. If we who are Christians don’t reach out in love to this young woman, who will. Miley wasn’t the only person the stage last night. There were a number of people who participated – from the soundman to dancers, to agents to costume people. Surely they had rehearsed the segment at some time prior to the show. At any rate, my heart goes out to her, as she is obviously struggling with many issues as she “comes of age”. This is an opportunity for the community of faith to embrace and pray for her – to speak words of hope and love to her and over her –

  62. Danielle
    posted on Aug 26, 2013 at 8:58 PM  |  reply

    I agree Annie. Such a good viewpoint and you are so right, plus who are we to judge.
    My heart breaks for her.

  63. posted on Aug 26, 2013 at 9:01 PM  |  reply

    Come on back, Miley. Annie is right. Spot on.

  64. posted on Aug 26, 2013 at 9:41 PM  |  reply

    I love this and completely agree. Amazingly, it goes right along with my blog today!

  65. posted on Aug 26, 2013 at 9:50 PM  |  reply

    […] that the internet, Facebook, Instagram, twitter, and so on are our daily reads.  And then I read this profound post by Annie of Annie Blogs.  She says, “bless that girl’s heart. Something is broken. Somehow […]

  66. ire
    posted on Aug 26, 2013 at 10:08 PM  |  reply

    I heard you speak at the Bloom conference in Hawaii this year and absolutely fell in love with your candidness. I am a young single mother and songs, performances, and comments like some of the comments made hear truly frighten me. Most of the comments have addressed the performance itself, but the lyrics of the song are what frighten me the most. When I think about the problems my son will have to face I am at a loss as to what I can do to guide him towards a better future. In the past five years raves have become somewhat of a thing in Hawaii. EDM alone it’s not a bad thing, however the drug use that often accompanies it is a huge problem. I have seen first hand what ecstasy can do to the mind and emotional state of a person. Sure, many illegal drugs have their benefits when administered in careful doses. But when you give a drug like this to twelve year olds and reinforce its appeal by applauding Miley’s actions and calling it brave, cool, and artistry, lives get taken prematurely. I never understood the big deal about these drugs until I became a mother. To me they were only dangerous if taken in excess and if you were a “careless” person, probably because I was exposed to them much later in life. But these drugs are finding their way into CHILDREN’S lives by way of television, magazines, older siblings, and music. Thank you for speaking out and speaking love to my generation and the ones that follow.

  67. posted on Aug 26, 2013 at 10:28 PM  |  reply

    Well, said, Annie, well said. Miley needs our prayers.

  68. Dana
    posted on Aug 26, 2013 at 10:30 PM  |  reply

    I agree that Miley needs help. It does break my heart. She is old enough to make wise choices and she is not making them. As a mother of a lovely 12 year old daughter, who grew up watching Hannah Montana, and we still watch the reruns together (yes, I found the shows quite comical and still do), I hurt for Miley, because I do think she has chosen a destructive path and will one day look back and regret it, rather than applaud it, or be proud of it. There is no way she couldn’t or wouldn’t regret it, unless she doesn’t care, and I feel she does care. I too, watched the performance on-line, out of curiosity, and was disgusted. However, I saw something. It was almost like she wanted to be “bad,” and was acting “bad,” but yet, she seemed like she was forcing herself to do it. Yes, I know, she did it, smiled, stuck out her tongue (what is that all about?), and played the part, but I just don’t believe that is who she wants to be. I hurt for her, I pray for her, and I hope she will turn around and run from that life. I have actually thought about trying to contact her, and encourage her. Otherwise, if she doesn’t stop this “bad” behavior, it may take her so far that she won’t be able to look at herself in the mirror, and that could lead to something worse than performing seductively. I am sad, but I am hopeful. Praying for Miley!

  69. Jerry
    posted on Aug 26, 2013 at 10:55 PM  |  reply

    Poor,poor Miley. She’s such a sinner who needs our prayers and love…never mind that we are all equal sinners in God’s eyes.

  70. posted on Aug 26, 2013 at 11:12 PM  |  reply

    Good word Annie. Truth. Wish I could get her here to Bangalore to K-homes for a month. My little ones would love on her and pray with her and for her!

    My mind is a little blown…why? Because, We’re here in India, where Hannah Montana is all the rage (We’re about 7 years behind in terms of TV). Haha. So, my 7-11 year olds just discovered Hannah Montana about a year ago…and just watched the movie, and then I clicked on the vma youtube thing…and almost had a heart attack! Thankfully the VMA awards are unheard of here…..and my girls are still in love with the sweet funny and innocent hannah montana……

  71. Nikki
    posted on Aug 26, 2013 at 11:50 PM  |  reply

    I Think she’s of the mindset “Any press its good press” and she’s trying to seem more “grown up.” I think some people who love her need to sit her down and tell her about the love of Jesus and tell her that as long as she continues the destructive that behavior

  72. Nikki
    posted on Aug 27, 2013 at 12:00 AM  |  reply

    I think she’s of the mindset that “any press its good press” and she’s trying to seem more “grown up.” I think some people who love her need to sit her down and tell her about the love of Jesus and tell her that as long as she continues the dustructive behavior they will still love her but won’t be around her, because it hurts them to see her destroying herself and her reputation like that. Sometimes tough love is all it takes. If she knew how to behave like a lady, and that people will love her just the same (if not even more), because she acts like a lady maybe she’ll start acting like one. But above all I think she needs to know she’s loved. Sonething tells me she never felt loved or payed attention to as a kid and this is her way of saying, “look at me! Lookat me! Love me!” and that’s not healthy.

  73. S. Parish
    posted on Aug 27, 2013 at 5:31 AM  |  reply

    Thank you for a wonderful post. I know the performance was awful. I know all that and really was anyone really caught off guard? Hasn’t this been coming for a long while? What I was shocked and dismayed at was the TIDAL WAVE of self righteousness and vicious verbal attack that was aimed at a young woman who is unsaved, and is obviously hurting like you said. Where was Christ in that viciousness? I will tell you, He wasn’t there. He would have been backstage, offering for her to come stay with Him the way you just did. Oh my Christian brothers and sisters! I weep for you as much or more than Miley. She is being true to the person she currently is, a lost, hurting woman. You, who are you being true to? I know I am being strict with you, but don’t you name the name of the One who is the most compassionate? Oh people, please grieve for this young woman as if she were your daughter, or niece, or grand daughter. One day you could have a lost one like this in your family, and you will be sorely in need of compassion. Peace.

  74. posted on Aug 27, 2013 at 6:04 AM  |  reply

    […] this idea of true north has been popping up quite a bit in my life lately. Even today, as I read a blog about the whole Miley Cyrus debacle at the VMA, those words “true north” popped up again. (And for the record folks, Annie over at […]

  75. posted on Aug 27, 2013 at 7:00 AM  |  reply

    […] are two posts that approach her performance thoughtfully and respectfully: Sorry, Miley and How do we help Miley?] The Mommy Wars are out of control – even in my own semi-sheltered world, I feel their […]

  76. posted on Aug 27, 2013 at 7:48 AM  |  reply

    Miley got exactly what she wanted. She got publicity. Obviously she is NOT very talented and her songs aren’t getting her the recognition she wants she wants so she has taken lessons from Lady Gaga and Madonna. First, it was her hair cut, now her dress. She’ll continue to do this sort of thing. Unfortunately, people are talking about her and that equates to money.

  77. Lauren
    posted on Aug 27, 2013 at 8:19 AM  |  reply

    Great thoughts, Annie. You really hit the nail on the head with how a Christian should react. I wondered, though, why no one is criticizing Robin Thicke for his performance? Why is it that when a young woman (she is only 20) dances like this she’s a skank, but when an adult man (he’s in his 30s) participates its okay or accepted? I don’t want my daughter to act like Miley and I certainly don’t want my son to think its okay for a man to encourage that.

  78. posted on Aug 27, 2013 at 8:39 AM  |  reply

    […] I heard about it the next morning, though, as the internet blew up with images of the former teen star that left me feeling like I needed to bleach my eyes. I left the computer so very, very sad. I won’t say much more about Miley here because enough has been said about the unfortunate “coming of age” performance already. Personally, I’m a fan of Annie Down’s take on the matter and I would love for you to take a minute to read her thoughts. […]

  79. kimberly Meyer
    posted on Aug 27, 2013 at 8:49 AM  |  reply

    Hey Annie… just love your response to Miley… You my dear one are a light and fresh air!! I was directed to your blog due to what one of my coworkers twitted!! I love your heart and your grace message!! I’m your new fan and prayer warrior!! going right away to get your” speak love!! ” May you be a beautiful grace filled voice to your generation!!

  80. posted on Aug 27, 2013 at 9:53 AM  |  reply

    […] A related good read: How do we help Miley? […]

  81. posted on Aug 27, 2013 at 10:04 AM  |  reply

    […] A related good read: How do we help Miley? […]

  82. posted on Aug 27, 2013 at 10:29 AM  |  reply

    […] A related good read: How do we help Miley? […]

  83. posted on Aug 27, 2013 at 10:37 AM  |  reply

    […] A related good read: How do we help Miley? […]

  84. posted on Aug 27, 2013 at 11:00 AM  |  reply

    […] A related good read: How do we help Miley? […]

  85. posted on Aug 27, 2013 at 12:23 PM  |  reply

    […] How do we help Miley? […]

  86. posted on Aug 27, 2013 at 12:31 PM  |  reply

    Annie, this is so encouraging to read. I feel passionately about interceding for the people society thinks it’s entitled to say awful things about. I just started a “Pop Culture Prayer Room” on my blog to encourage believers to stand in the gap and believe that the Gospel can (and will!) influence the influencers. Would love for you to join the discussion.

  87. posted on Aug 27, 2013 at 12:50 PM  |  reply

    AGREED! Glad to see there are others out there who see the real solution.

  88. posted on Aug 27, 2013 at 1:12 PM  |  reply

    Hey! I wrote a post last night on Miley too! Praying for her.
    or @AnnieEdwards01

  89. posted on Aug 27, 2013 at 1:18 PM  |  reply

    […] Trevin wasn’t the only one veiling  judgment with pity and prayer. […]

  90. posted on Aug 27, 2013 at 2:18 PM  |  reply

    I think you’re right on. I wrote about it too.

  91. Simon D
    posted on Aug 27, 2013 at 2:50 PM  |  reply

    Yes pray for her and cast the devil out of her. Anyone with a little discernment (who is born again) can tell that this girl is possessed by demons. I say that in all sincerity. She doesn’t even know what she is doing. Like these other pop stars with their alter ego’s.

  92. posted on Aug 27, 2013 at 3:39 PM  |  reply

    […] Annie Blogs   How do we help Miley? […]

  93. posted on Aug 27, 2013 at 5:50 PM  |  reply

    How unbelievably patronizing to assume that because a young woman doesn’t fit into your idea of what is acceptable you need to help her.

    I don’t know Miley. I’m guessing 99.9% of your commentators don’t even in a round about way know her personally. I don’t know if she’s troubled and in need of help AND NEITHER DO YOU.

    You have commenters talking about how she’s possessed or manipulated because the product she provides isn’t one you like. How about you just don’t buy the product instead of assuming the person who makes it is evil?

    I don’t watch the VMA’s. On the list of things I’m concerned about Miley Cyrus runs pretty close to the bottom. I had absolutely no interest in even watching this performance until I read this post and the comments. Maybe I’m a bit jaded when the Right Wing Christian Coalition crazies get all up in arms about the newest performance atrocity, but I had to see this for myself.

    And no, it wasn’t tasteful or classy or something I’d want my 12 year old daughter watching but I also think people need to slow down, take a breath, and realize that this “speaking love” sounds an awful like condescension.

  94. posted on Aug 27, 2013 at 9:39 PM  |  reply

    […] This post about How do we help Miley? […]

  95. Krissi
    posted on Aug 27, 2013 at 10:05 PM  |  reply

    I agree…sad case. I have 2 teen daughters & 1 preteen…they loved Hannah Montana. I don’t even know what it is, but it’s like you could see this coming. It’s not really shocking. Although it is. Thanks for writing so kindly about it. I’ve prayed for her before, going to do that again right now.

  96. Sara
    posted on Aug 27, 2013 at 10:28 PM  |  reply

    This is the best thing I’ve read thus far. Thanks for choosing grace and understanding. Lord knows I’m grateful that I’m not famous because we all have “Miley Moments.” We’re just fortunate enough not to be in the public spotlight.

  97. Katie
    posted on Aug 28, 2013 at 11:00 AM  |  reply

    I just keep thinking why do we all care so much? If you don’t want your daughters to be offended maybe you shouldn’t have been watching the VMA’s in the first place. I mean, it is the VMA’s, this is what always happens.
    If she was your daughter’s role model I would ask why? Because she could sing and dance? Why aren’t we giving our children something bigger, something better?
    Why aren’t we half as worried about the girl that lives next door, the homeless,the hungry in our midst? Why aren’t our kids so engaged the the gospel and works of mercy that they have little time to worry about the dance Miley Cyrus did one night?
    This all just seems like a lot of misplaced energy and condemnation. I am learning here in the south you can say “Bless your heart” while judging and that makes it ok. hmmm.

    • Irma
      posted on Aug 31, 2013 at 12:46 AM  |  reply

      My thoughts exactly!!! Why are our christian daughter watching this anyway?… I pray for those she is leading straight to hell, those that never herd about Jesus, God have mercy on the thousands and thousands she is bringing to worship satan, straight talk folk

    • Irma
      posted on Aug 31, 2013 at 12:47 AM  |  reply

      By the way your comment is great and it make sense,

  98. posted on Aug 28, 2013 at 6:42 PM  |  reply

    Wonderful post. I really enjoyed reading. Thank-you for expressing something that no many people understand. The power of love is stronger than the power of judgement.

  99. posted on Aug 28, 2013 at 11:01 PM  |  reply

    […] so after reading this fabulous post by Annie Downs and this one by Brant from Air 1 Radio, I felt the need to watch it and see what all the buzz was […]

  100. MacKenzie
    posted on Aug 29, 2013 at 10:16 AM  |  reply

    Annie, these are wise words. There was a time I would have been very quick to judge Miley, but I’m hoping it’s His grace that is changing me. I’m not old enough to be her mother, and I don’t even have children yet, but that performance kicked my maternal instincts into overdrive. I wanted to wrap that girl in a hug (and a blanket) and sit down with a cup of tea or cocoa. I hope someone takes Miley under her wing and loves her. And for the rest of us, rather than speaking hate, let’s keep on like you, teaching girls good and beautiful things, speaking love into their lives.

  101. posted on Aug 30, 2013 at 8:53 AM  |  reply

    […] I trust you all know about the VMAs and such. Here are two […]

  102. posted on Aug 30, 2013 at 3:24 PM  |  reply

    Right on the mark Annie. I’m very sad for her too, and I didn’t even see the performance..I’ve just read/heard all the rants about it. Just wondering if you’ve reached out to her? Maybe she’d take you up on your offer. I want to write her a letter, a grace-filled letter reminding her how much God loves her. I did something crazy and wrote Lance Armstrong an email a few months back. I’m sure it went right into the recycle bin, but I couldn’t remain silent. I mourned for him and just wanted him to know he’s loved even though he messed up. We all mess up. By the way, you have a beautiful blog…pretty in pink

  103. posted on Aug 30, 2013 at 11:57 PM  |  reply

    […] Annie Downs:  How Do We Help Miley? […]

  104. Irma
    posted on Aug 31, 2013 at 12:41 AM  |  reply

    Seems a lot of folk is forgetting the thousands and thousands of fans this girl is leading straight to hell, yes we can all pray for her and God is merciful to forgive her if she repents, but what about the fans the kids that she led astray? satan is using the youth to bring the youth to him, wake up people

  105. posted on Aug 31, 2013 at 12:23 PM  |  reply

    […] then she wrote this beautiful post about how we help someone like Miley Cyrus.  Her […]

  106. Lina
    posted on Aug 31, 2013 at 4:29 PM  |  reply

    AMEN!! Thanks for reminding us we are here to love others in Jesus name and not condemn them. THAT is not our job. Those without sin throw the first stone and all…

  107. Amy
    posted on Sep 02, 2013 at 8:39 AM  |  reply

    I read a post-VMA interview with Miley in which she claimed to need only 45 minutes of sleep per day. So, I’m guessing the only thing she thought about in the moment before she fell asleep VMA night was how tired she was.

    I’m also guessing if you grabbed Miley right now, looked into her eyes, and told her she had value and purpose, it wouldn’t be her first rodeo. I have a feeling, based on the teensy bit I’ve read over the years about her upbringing, that she has heard this all before. The problem seems to be that she is not in a place to receive any of it. She’s on autopilot right now – and the plane may just need to crash. I hope not. I pray not. But sometimes God does His best work with the rubble.

    So, I’m praying that the world, along with her family and friends will speak to Miley the TRUTH in love – and that, above all, God will give her the ears and heart to RECEIVE it.

  108. allison
    posted on Sep 02, 2013 at 9:59 AM  |  reply

    How dare i speak against here when i carry such foolishness in my own heart. I cant speak against sin, but first i need to check my own sin. I have bawdy ways that need to b check. I just dont like teddybears its almost as sick as ariel castro who had stuffed animals in his house of horrors. What an ultimate betrayal to kids to promise life and joy when you really are delivering death and sinsickness.

  109. allison
    posted on Sep 02, 2013 at 10:01 AM  |  reply

    I meant to say i CAN speak against sin but if my heart has turn from God to idols im the same as miley, my sin and foolishness is simply covered better and not wearing a stupid teddybear unitard.

  110. Anita Drum
    posted on Sep 03, 2013 at 8:25 AM  |  reply

    When I saw her performance it made me really sad. I see it as a huge cry for help. Let’s also not forget that she was not the only performer on that stage. There are others who could have put a stop to that performance. Everyone from Miley and Robin to the dancers and the choreographer could have put a stop to this or did something different. They all need our love and prayers.

  111. posted on Sep 03, 2013 at 9:40 PM  |  reply

    […] How Do We Help Miley :: Annie Downs (The post that said what needed to be said. In love. No, really.) […]

  112. posted on Sep 15, 2013 at 11:08 AM  |  reply

    Annie, I too felt an overwhelming sadness for Miley followed by a strong sense of helplessness, like I would for a drowning child. Indeed, that’s what she is… And I didn’t even see the VMA performance. Hearing about it was enough.

  113. posted on Sep 16, 2013 at 10:44 PM  |  reply

    […] Pray for Miley Cyrus and how she is handling the fall out from her performance last month at the VMA’s. As […]

  114. Allen Milton
    posted on Oct 21, 2013 at 2:31 PM  |  reply


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  115. posted on Nov 13, 2013 at 1:46 PM  |  reply

    […] you know why more than 100,000 people have read a blog post about Miley Cyrus? Not because the content was riveting or life-changing, but because people EXPECTED Christians to […]

  116. Ruben Rodriguez
    posted on Feb 16, 2014 at 9:25 PM  |  reply

    yes… you are speaking in love and truth .. you are wise ….

  117. posted on Jun 13, 2014 at 1:44 PM  |  reply

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