Hey single girls, we need YOUR story.

on March 26, 2014 in (in)courage with 12 comments by

I’m going to get pushy today, consider yourself warned. Maybe it’s because I’m up early writing and feeling a bit of fire in my bones or maybe it’s because my oatmeal is perfect, but either way, buckle up.

Why are you not sharing your story?

To be honest, I’m looking at you, single girls. (Marrieds and mamas, you are always welcome here, OBVI, but today I’m gonna get bossy with the singlets, just so you know.)

My single friend, why don’t you share your story? Not just your story of singleness and how that has affected your life. But your story of what matters to you, how you got HERE (wherever HERE is) and why you are pursuing the things you are pursuing.

Why don’t you get together with other women and tell your story. THEY NEED YOUR STORY. You think because you are twenty-four and single that no one will want to hear of the struggles of that or the broken engagement or the worries because you are too young. You think no one wants to hear your story because you are fifty-four and have always been single. You think no one wants to hear your story because you are forty-four and single again and you have nothing to offer.

Friends. You are hearing lies.

Truth? I need your story. I need to hear what you are surviving so that I can survive too. I need to hear what you are dreaming so I’m brave enough to dream. I need to hear where you are going so I can meet you there.

Someone is needing to hear you. Someone is already stretching their ear in your direction just waiting on a word to be dropped like water on a parched tongue.

I know it’s not always fun to talk about being single. BELIEVE YOU ME. I know. But I also know the power of a testimony. I know that the Bible says that we overcome by the blood of the Lamb AND the words of what we have lived (Revelation 12:11).

This year, (in)RL’s theme is “we need YOUR story” and I think you need to be a part of it. Because I think it is time that we start telling our stories- really telling them, to the people in our lives and on our internets.

(in)RL is April 25-26, exactly one month away. CHECK HERE for all the details. Why not attend a meet up on that Saturday in your town…even though you figure it will be full of mamas and their stories are different than yours? Because they need your story. You need their stories. So show up.

Or tune in from home and muster up some courage to write your story.

Or start a meet up, in your own living room, and invite other local (in)couragers to join you?

However you join, SIGN UP to watch online and be a part of learning why to share, how to share, where to share, and who to share your story with. And I hope you get a chance to share your story on April 25-26…. at your dining room table, around a fire pit, at the restaurant, in the face of the one who needs it.

I’ll be there April 25-26 and I’ll be sharing my story.


Meet me there?

My single friends, it’s time we shared our stories. 

We need YOUR story.


  1. posted on Mar 26, 2014 at 9:33 AM  |  reply

    These are just the words I need to say to some of my single friends! And frankly what I needed to hear after being single-again for 20 years. Thanks so much!

  2. posted on Mar 26, 2014 at 9:57 AM  |  reply

    This is very true. When I went to a women’s retreat from my church a few weeks ago, I was wondering why I got put in the small group I did , where all the women were married and had children and I was the youngest, single and no kids. What could they possibly learn from me and why would they care when their issues are so different from mine? Well God put me in my place and showed me that my story DOES have an impact and just because I’m currently single doesn’t mean I’m not important and he can’t use me.

  3. Jenna
    posted on Mar 26, 2014 at 10:10 AM  |  reply

    Ugh, THANK YOU. I have gone back and forth about following Incourage at all on Facebook because I’m SO sick of posts assuming all women are chasing tinies and cleaning up smushed goldfish. I know that is some women’s stories, but I just can’t get into the sugary sweetness of all the “mama” posts when I’m doing life alone. I want to see your stuff there and wish they had more single girls, but there’s just too much mommy blogging and not much that really makes sense in my world. I love Lisa Jo and the other writers when they don’t write about motherhood as if “we can all nod along” and it’s totally relatable… because it’s not. It just alienates and isolates singles when they use terms that assume all their readers can relate to the mom thing. It’s fine if you are only writing or speaking to moms, but if you have a blog or conference for all women and then only talk to the moms, you’ve lost me.

    • posted on Mar 26, 2014 at 12:35 PM  |  reply

      Jenna, I feel the same way. When I see Annie’s posts I get super excited. The other days…I usually skim because I because I feel left out.

  4. posted on Mar 26, 2014 at 10:40 AM  |  reply

    What a bless to ‘hear’ that!!!
    Sometimes we believe that we are not important enough , because we don’t have a marriage testimony.
    But God makes a lot of things in our lifes everyday! We are a miracle being!

  5. posted on Mar 26, 2014 at 10:00 PM  |  reply

    I really appreciate this. A lot of the time, I believe the lie that my story doesn’t matter, what I say doesn’t mean anything or that people just won’t care. The other lie is that my story really hasn’t started because I am just a single gal. It’s that small little lie that pops up now and then that life won’t really begin until I am married.

    I really do want to share my story, I want to help others through what I have experienced. I just don’t always know how.

    Thank you for the encouragement! I always appreciate your perspective and your stories. I am right there with you!

  6. Heather
    posted on Mar 28, 2014 at 5:30 PM  |  reply

    Drives me CRAZY when singles sit around waiting for their life to begin. I do not need to be married to buy a house/plan for the future/travel/be happy. I’ve seen too many marrieds realize she didn’t even know who she was because she was spending her time/life planning for Mr. Right. Kind of hard to have a relationship when you don’t know who you are.

    As a 30-something single, I meet with a small group of women with an over 40 year age gap. Most of them are married with children (some littles, others grown) but we learn so much from each other. I enjoy sharing my single story from time to time.

    Thanks Annie for reminding singles to share. We create our own pool of miserableness by not sharing our stories – both the good and the bad.

  7. Britt
    posted on Mar 28, 2014 at 7:03 PM  |  reply

    The value of our lives and the impact that one can have for Christ is only limited by ourselves. We are our own limiting factor. If we are single is is because of that – that is why we are waiting to do something great or anything at all. If we are married it is because of that – we are waiting until life is not so busy. If we are retired it is because of that – we are old and out of date.
    We are defining ourselves by our life stage and each comes with it’s own set of challenges and excuses. What would life look like if we left the security of our excuses and stepped out with faith into the work that God has for us that day.
    Being single affords the opportunity of being available. Who are the people near you that you could invite and treat to coffee on a saturday. Is their someone at work that as you look into their eyes you see hurt. Since you won’t be busy saturday morning changing diapers and pouring Cherrios into a bowl just to sweep up in an hour.
    How could God use that moment, of listening, and building relationship. We often underestimate the power of a listening ear. You don’t need to know the answers.
    I recently have listened to a mother of 5 whom desires to leave her family and a fellow single friend whom lost a baby in the womb. None of them are topics which I have experience or authority on. Admittedly I was nervous and scared for both conversations and felt ill equipped. God reminded me that these women only needed my ears, a shoulder to cry on, and hope. I had all 3!
    Do not be defined by a relationship status, a number on a scale, a paycheck, a title, where you live, or any other human standard. Define yourself only by the measure in which God loves YOU, only by the truth that scripture has to say about you as a daughter of the Highest King. Your His daughter and He love you no matter what – and He does not want you to settle. Keep your eyes fixed on your Father and the work He has set before each of us.

  8. posted on Apr 01, 2014 at 1:20 PM  |  reply

    Annie! Did you write this for me? 😉

  9. Katy Springer
    posted on Apr 01, 2014 at 5:35 PM  |  reply

    Well, my heart was turned into a margarita from what happened from my first bf 9 yrs ago. Yes, there are things that I dearly miss and one of them is just having a dude. No relationship needed to have a dude! Being single has been the hardest thing that I face today, but I would rather have the burning tears of what could have been then ever be used again. So I turn to God. I trust in him for everything that is going to happen cause I make more mistakes than anyone that I know!

  10. posted on Apr 04, 2014 at 7:01 AM  |  reply

    Annie, through your blog and (in)courage) we connected back in 2011 about our singleness. I was aching just like you. I got married since (at age 39)… and one thing I do not wan to forget is the singles around me. Because for them the ache is still there. It’s truly easy to forget now that I live this awesome lovely life that I was hoping for all along. I am thinking to start up a community group for singles when (in)courage starts up a new season for it. It’s still a ‘heart thing’ for me. If I can encourage singles I’d like to, even though I am married now. I haven’t forgotten.

    And back then when it was really getting hard for me, it was awesome and beautiful to get on line and to get to places like here where I wasn’t alone. So yes people, get the stories going!

  11. posted on Aug 30, 2014 at 10:27 AM  |  reply

    Annie, the bon fire in your heart is spreading and reaching out, over to mine. I know this is coming way toooo late…but, I gotta respond. I love to think that people won’t take me serious and I really have nothing to give but this is totally challenging…gotta get out of there. And freely share the story I’ve been blessed with.

    I am in some (married) women’s facebook groups but I’m more like a ghost member–taking more than I’m giving.

    Thank you for this post and yes, sometimes we need some hot slap to awaken us.

    God bless you.

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