I don’t have a lot of treasured possessions. I just wasn’t built that way. It comes in really handy as a teacher, being that there is NOT A ONE THING that the students feel is off limits to touch and then drop on the floor and break into eleventy billion pieces. Sorry about that, book ends shaped like a desktop computer.
But I do have a few treasures.
And probably the top one, the most precious thing I own, is missing. I didn’t notice the first few days I moved. But as the days have pulled along, bags have been emptied and things have finally found a resting place, it is no where. No where.
I remember the last time I saw it. I was packing my bedroom and I remember pulling it out of the bedside table drawer. Where it has been for the last seven years. I held it in my hands, as I’ve done so many times, and I remember asking myself, “Do you really think you will need this before August?”
Unfortunately, I don’t remember my answer.
My rational mind says, “You probably packed it in the box, and it’s quietly resting in a UHAUL storage unit.”
My emotional mind says, “OH MY DEAR LORD WHERE COULD IT BE?!?! HOW IN THE WORLD DID I LOSE SOMETHING THAT IS SO IMPORTANT TO ME YET KNOW THE EXACT LOCATION OF MY CHRISTMAS SOCKS?!?!”
I have bags packed for a yard sale- did I accidentally bag it?
Did I, God forbid, trash it?
Oh, that just makes me feel sick. I can’t think about that again.
It’s not just an item. It’s an investment. It’s a piece of me. It’s a big piece of my story- it’s a deep part of me.
I have no idea where it is. And I desperately want to find it. I don’t need it, per say. I just want to know that it is near me. I just want it.
So, foolishly, tomorrow afternoon I will head to the UHAUL storage unit, unpack every piece of furniture to find the small box that could possibly hold my missing item. Because I’m willing to waste my afternoon and my energy to see if there is just a chance that it is there. I am willing to do anything at this point to try to find it. To have it again.
Maybe this is the smallest smallest infinitely tiniest taste of how Jesus felt before He found me.