I’m blind as a bat without my contacts or glasses.

So. I wear my contacts all the time.

Like…. ALL. THE. TIME.

It’s bad. Real bad.

Sometimes I wake up in the morning, after having slept for WEEKS in the same pair of contacts, and my eyes will hardly open. They are sort of frozen closed and once I peel them open with my eye muscles, I can’t blink.

Yeah. Not good, y’all.

And for an undisclosed amount of time, I have been wearing the last pair of contacts I own. So yesterday, I made a big girl decision and decided to go to the eye doctor here in Nashville.

As I sat in the dark-ish room, waiting on Dr. James to enter, I mustered all my confessing courage. I had to tell her. The moment she walked in the door, I blurted out:

“Hi Dr. James I know we aren’t friends yet but I wear my contacts for too long and I’m afraid that my eyes are going to fall out of my head and I’m really sorry but please tell me that I haven’t caused permanently damaged…”

[gasp of air]

“…and please give me some rules and some contacts that I can’t sleep in because I’ve kept this secret and I need to learn to obey the eye doctor.”

And when I was finished with my filibuster, Dr. James introduced herself. And laughed at me.

It happens.

She was awesome. She showed me a DIS.GUST.ING picture of what could happen to my eyes if I continue to act in such a manner.

And then she kindly offered me contact lenses that will fight back a little bit. She gave me some “rules” to follow as well. [By the way, it is UBER impressive to be 29 years old and need the doctor to give you a list of rules.]

I’m not going to get all gushy about the doctor, though I think she earned a spot as a future bridesmaid someday, but I will say that I can see better right now than I have been able to see in YEARS. Trust me, I have read aloud every sign I have seen on the road. “Look, that says BROADWAY. Look, that says 1830. 4810.” My friend Lyndsay said, “She got new contacts and turned binary.”

That’s funny.

There’s some spiritual lesson in the idea of confessing your sins and then seeing clearly for the first time, but in all honesty, I’m outta time. I gotta go pack. I’m headed to Chicago for a fun weekend getaway with the lay-deez.

Y’all have a good weekend. And don’t sleep in your contacts too much.

[Seriously. I mean it. On both accounts.]