• That time I called the YMCA to cancel my gym membership and a guy I know answered the phone.

Sorry, David. I won’t be working out at your facilities this year. Nothing personal. How’s your mom?

  • That time I sold a bunch of books so I could have extra cash to eat out with my friends. Yeah, knew the guy there too.

Oh, hey Peter. Yes, that is two identical copies of Purpose Driven Life.

  • This time.

Toms + Santa socks = January 13th, you’ve never looked so good.”

  • The time that I still had a crush on Mark from the FIRST season of Road Rules.

Yeah, Mark. I know you’re 49 and still on MTV. But there’s something really right about this.”

  • The time I cried while watching You’ve Got Mail. Yesterday.

‘152 insights into my SOUL!’ Sigh… I’ve been single a long time.”

  • The time I wore the same outfit two days in a row thinking there were no repeating viewers.

Sorry about it, Marisa. And no, I won’t wear it again tomorrow… unless I for SURE won’t see you. Uhhh… will I see you tomorrow?

  • The time I ate frozen yogurt during a snowstorm.

Wait. So you haven’t been so busy at the store today? Weird. And yeah, put another scoop of Oreos on there.

  • The time I was glued to the television during The Bachelor because the scandal was just. so. shocking.

Uh, Roslyn. A staffer? Gross.”

  • The time I kept a REALLY delicious secret from you…. until tomorrow.

Hey, bloggite. I’m playing games with your mind. But you’re gonna love it. See you on Friday.”