The Best Date

on March 1, 2010 in Ze Bloggy Goodness with 31 comments by

Friday night, I went on the best date of my Nashville life.

I’m not going to put all my former dates in order from greatest to least, because then, honestly, you would know how many dates I haven’t have been on.

So last week, my friend Fred called. Fred is dating one of my dearest friends, Katherine, and I Could. Not. Love. It. More. You know when two cute people start dating and it just causes the cutest little cloud of hearts to float all around them? Yeah, they have that. Cloudy. Majorly heart-cloudy.

Anyways, Fred called. And he and Katherine asked me to go on a date with them.

They wanted to pick me up, take me to a nice restaurant, pay for it, and just hang out with me. I didn’t blink. I didn’t pause. I said YES DUH YES!

And on Friday, we did just that. They knocked on the door, both standing there. Fred opened our car doors and held the door open at the restaurant. He had already made reservations, so we passed by the lines and lines of people [because this is THE BEST FOOD in Nashville]. We sat and laughed and serious talked and not-serious talked and three hours later, my stomach was blessed and my heart was full. Or the other way around. Whatevs.

And for those 3 hours, and about every hour since, I felt totally, unequivocally, unabashedly lovely.

As an older single lady, I don’t think Fred and Katherine had any idea what kind of deep work that one event did for my soul. Looking outside of themselves, instead of spending a romantic night alone- maybe at that same table with those same meals- they chose to love their single friend. And let me come along.

It was a great night, but more than that, it was a gift to me. An investment of hope into my heart. It was life-giving. It was a tide-turner. It was a pleasure. And it was a kindness that I hope to someday return to some single friends.

I wonder… are there single girls/single guys in YOUR life, my married friend? Do you invite him over to dinner? Do you invite her to hang out? Do you make space in your life for the 29 year old single girl in your church who loves to play with your kids and loves to talk to you but maybe needs some TLC? Or the 24 year old college dude who could really benefit from hanging with your family?

I dunno. I’m not here to put pressure on you or make you hang with people you don’t love. And maybe you, like my friends, already splash love all over the singlets in your world.

But I just had to share this story. Because an Annie could live in your town, be in your life. I don’t want you the miss the chance to step into that place with her. For her.

She’ll never forget it.

31 comments

  1. posted on Mar 01, 2010 at 4:11 AM  |  reply

    Love this story. But I cannot and never will think of you as an ‘older single lady.’ That phrase made me laugh a little.

  2. Ellen
    posted on Mar 01, 2010 at 6:12 AM  |  reply

    Annie! What a beautiful evening! Thank you for the gentle poke! 🙂

  3. posted on Mar 01, 2010 at 7:34 AM  |  reply

    That is such a sweet gesture. We never know what the Lord has planned when we step out in faith to bless someone. Thanks Annie. So glad you had such a blessed evening with your awesome friends.

  4. Merideth S
    posted on Mar 01, 2010 at 7:51 AM  |  reply

    Annie, I love this story! I’m so glad you were able to have that date with your friends. that was so awesome and sweet of them! i love that they thought to do that for you. I appreciate you pointing out how meaningful it is when couples do things like that for/with their single friends. I think in the church sometimes we get stuck in seperating married and single people we forget how much good can come from investing in each other. Speaking as a single older lady I know exactly how special a night like that would be. Honestly, I have never had one of those dates, but would really love one. If I’m being honest, I am a little jealous you got to have that experience. So glad, though, it filled your heart and meant so much to you. Praying for God to bring another date like that to you. Especially with an amazing guy who sees how fabulous you are and wants to date you. Love ya girl.

  5. ali
    posted on Mar 01, 2010 at 8:32 AM  |  reply

    Rock on, Annie!

  6. posted on Mar 01, 2010 at 8:41 AM  |  reply

    Hey Annie! Great post…and I have to agree with Merideth. There is so much couples can teach us single gals and guys. It’s also great to be loved upon….

    Be Blessed Annie and have a great day!

    Susie A.

  7. posted on Mar 01, 2010 at 9:11 AM  |  reply

    This is way sweet. My best friend and her husband are so quick to invite me along to things (even though I’m in a relationship… so maybe this doesn’t exactly count).

    AND I LOVE CITY HOUSE. The belly ham pizza, please tell me you’ve had the belly ham pizza. I mean the hot spices make you want to stop but the crispy crusty crust and the cheese makes my belly say MORE MORE MORE!!!!

  8. posted on Mar 01, 2010 at 9:35 AM  |  reply

    My best friend since forever is 30 and single. And since Mark and I started dating in high school, the three of us have been the three amigos. We planned to see the Sherlock Holmes movie together for months. And we go out to eat together more than either of our budgets really should. Since Mark works on Friday nights, she actually comes over most weeks and hangs out with Annalyn and me – and more often than not, she gets requested for bedtime stories.

    I worry sometimes that she feels like a third wheel or annoyed that we don’t have much just-us-girls time. But she’s said before that she likes it, and your post makes me think that she’s not just being nice.

    I’m so glad you had the best date ever! 🙂

  9. posted on Mar 01, 2010 at 9:48 AM  |  reply

    You are most definitely NOT an older single lady…because that would make me one too. Without offending any readers of your fine blog, I think it is safe to say that an “older single lady” would be over 60.

    I’m so thankful to have several married couples in my life who love to include me and make me feel special. My friend Rachel even hosted a luncheon at her house on Valentines Day and all of the guests were single ladies! It was fun and we left feeling very loved.

    Great..now I have Beyonce’s “Single Ladies” stuck in my head!

  10. posted on Mar 01, 2010 at 10:35 AM  |  reply

    this story is beautiful and i love when things like that happen and as a single girl, that too would make my heart soar!

  11. posted on Mar 01, 2010 at 11:27 AM  |  reply

    Your date definitely sounds awesome. I love spending time with my closest friend, her husband and their four kids.

    Since I’m an “older single lady” at 34 (that makes me cringe just typing that), I can relate. I know it’s probably hard for the married peeps (especially with kiddos) to find time. But it is a huge blessing to us single types.

  12. posted on Mar 01, 2010 at 12:03 PM  |  reply

    Love this, Annie. As a fellow “older single” lady (much older than you, BTW!), I can also attest that your words ring true! Very sweet friends of yours to realize this. I recently had an experience at a church event when I was sitting with married friends, and one couple leaned over to those sitting beside me and invited them to “movie night”. I was sitting right there, and was completely left out of the equation, even though these are people that I serve with and do life closely with them. I don’t think it’s malicious, but I don’t think there is enough awareness of how that can make someone feel. I felt like I had leprosy or something, even among those I would consider my friends. Anyway…good for you, and great reminders and encouragement for singles and marrieds! 🙂

  13. posted on Mar 01, 2010 at 1:51 PM  |  reply

    Ha, 38 here and a much older single lady. Often the only conversation I have between leaving work at 5 and going back the next day at 8 is with dog. Sounds like a great blessing!

  14. posted on Mar 01, 2010 at 2:26 PM  |  reply

    As a single woman (and mom) I was blessed by this post. When I was married I didn’t think to do this, but now I can see how valuable it would be.

    Thanks for sharing!

  15. Debs
    posted on Mar 01, 2010 at 5:38 PM  |  reply

    So happy for you, I love that you shared your heart like that!!….but let me tell you what happened to me Friday night…gotta send it in an e-mail! 🙂

  16. posted on Mar 01, 2010 at 8:51 PM  |  reply

    Love this post. So much! And I haven’t been to City House. Where have I been??

  17. posted on Mar 01, 2010 at 9:57 PM  |  reply

    how beautiful and what a great reminder! One of our very closest friends is a single gentleman, 25, who is our worship leader and hangs with us a lot!

  18. posted on Mar 02, 2010 at 6:04 AM  |  reply

    That’s so good. Thanks for posting it, Annie.

  19. posted on Mar 02, 2010 at 10:08 AM  |  reply

    I know I’m a day late, but was sick and not on the computer much yesterday. Anyway, while I’ve never had a married couple pick me up at my house and go on a date like that, when I lived in Dallas I had one married couple that included me as much as possible. They’d invite me to the movies, to dinner, over to the house just to hang out on Saturday afternoons. I really feel that was God’s way of giving me ‘family’ when I was in Dallas and I will never ever in my entire life forget how special I felt when I was with them.

    That being said, I’ve also been in the same position as Melissa where some married couples only invite other married couples and you end up feeling like a hot pile of unwanted mess. Those moments are harder (obviously) but I think they help us realize we need to rely on God to give us our ‘worth’ and not other people’s estimation of us. If that makes sense.

    Thanks for sharing Annie! So glad you had such a fun date and friends that care enough to date you! 🙂

  20. posted on Mar 02, 2010 at 11:13 AM  |  reply

    Thank you for posting this – great reminder for me to be inviting to my single friends. I tend to think they don’t want to “relax” in my loud house full of kids. I imagine they just want to feel included. You’ve given me something to think about. Thanks.

  21. posted on Mar 02, 2010 at 1:43 PM  |  reply

    My husband’s best friend since high school (and one of mine for many years) is single and lives next door to us. We consider him a nightly inclusion at our dinner table and have spent numerous date nights with him joining us. He loves our kids and we were actually a little sad when he had a girlfriend because it meant we got to see less of him. I think it’s good for married couples to have both married and single friends; it maintains balance in our life and relationship.

  22. posted on Mar 02, 2010 at 4:45 PM  |  reply

    Sounds like a fun night! I guess I have to buy Boggs dinner now, huh? Ha! The potential downside to this though is that I could completely re-live the rejection of my younger days if none of our single friends want to have dinner with us. When I say “younger days” I mean when Melissa Driggers and I were in high school together WAY back in the day. (Worlds colliding!)

  23. Corrie Freeman
    posted on Mar 02, 2010 at 9:33 PM  |  reply

    Annie..

    Loved this! As a 33 year old single girl, I sometimes think the Lord has put me in this place so I can one day minister to singles. What sweet friends you have!!

  24. Lindsey Thompson
    posted on Mar 02, 2010 at 10:33 PM  |  reply

    Hey Annie,

    So I just had to make another quick comment that i was reading a sorority sister’s blog, Melissa Nash Hunt and realized that she had posts about you. Such a small world. Hope spinning class was fun the other day with Christian. You are doing a great job and i love reading your blog!

  25. Sarah McGalliard
    posted on Mar 02, 2010 at 11:27 PM  |  reply

    hey! this post is incredible!!! it really made me think.

    I was married about 2 and a half years ago.. my husband and I would always invite my best friend to do things with us and I would invite her over to hang out with me whenever my husband was out or even if he was in the office working. Once he was done, or got home, she always left quickly. We felt like we made her uncomfortable or unwelcome even though we did everything to tell her we would love for her to stay.

    Also, often times when we would ask her to go out and do things with us she would seem uncomfortable or make passive aggressive comments about being the “third wheel”. It was my greatest desire to minister to her (And still is, but she has moved about 4 hours away since) but she seemed uncomfortable and it almost made me feel like she thought we were just hanging out with her out of pity. Any suggestions as to how to make her feel comfortable or welcome would be much appreciated.

    I’m not sure if any of these things are true, I might just be inferring the wrong things from her since I’ve never talked to her about it. Luckily, we are going to spend the week with my brother and sister-in-law who live in the same city as her, so if things seem strange I will talk to her about it.

    Your friends are incredible and you have a wonderful attitude about your singleness and allowing them to minister to you freely.

  26. Ashley Eicher
    posted on Mar 03, 2010 at 3:13 PM  |  reply

    Let’s start by calling you the “hottie tottie super fashionable uber funny singlet whose equally fabulous male counterpart is just waiting to sweep her off her feet”.

    but yes, I agree amazing. so many things I could say here but ultimately am so thankful you shared this. In the words of Mr Cowart quoting the head of Chic-fil-A “If you want to know if someone needs encouragement, check to see if they are breathing.” I may have butchered it but that’s the gist and I love it.

  27. posted on Mar 03, 2010 at 4:12 PM  |  reply

    I love this post Annie because it’s soooooo true! I dated the same guy for a looooooooong time (and was therefore part of the “couples crowd”)—so when we broke up 3 years ago—I finally found myself “single” in a circle of friends who were all couples. I’m not going to lie and say there weren’t times I missed having a significant other at certain functions—but for MOST of the time—I was totally fine just hanging with my buds and their husbands or boyfriends. They always made me feel welcome and included—and it was a great comfort to me—especially after such a hard break up!
    After a few years of being single–I have now found myself in the “couples” category again. But THIS time–I know I am MUCH more sensitive to my “single” friends. I think as couples we tend to think “nobody wants to be the 3rd wheel”—but I’ve found (from my own experience) that many times we DO love being that third wheel!

    I love that you wrote this post and have already directed some of my friends over to your site to read it!

    Great job:)

  28. posted on Mar 04, 2010 at 11:53 PM  |  reply

    LOVE this post! Two of my best friends are single, and they are 2 of my biggest blessings. I can only hope that add to their life like they do mine. Thanks for sharing!

  29. posted on Mar 04, 2010 at 11:54 PM  |  reply

    I meant, “that I add to their life like they do mine…” sigh :)…

  30. posted on Apr 08, 2010 at 9:07 AM  |  reply

    […] The Best Date – This blog post talks about the benefits of couples (whether married or dating) taking the time to invest in the lives of their single friends. If you are married (or dating/courting/engaged), please take the time to consider the point of this blog post. […]

  31. posted on Jan 12, 2012 at 2:18 PM  |  reply

    […] The Best Date – This blog post talks about the benefits of couples (whether married or dating) taking the time to invest in the lives of their single friends. If you are married (or dating/courting/engaged), please take the time to consider the point of this blog post. […]

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