All my bags are packed, I’m ready to go. I’m standing here, outside your door.
No, no I’m not. Unless you live on my street in Edinburgh.
The suitcases are ready, the carry-on is ready, my hair is clean and I’m headed to the airport in just a bit. [Your prayers for a safe flight, easy connection, luggage arrival, and a calm spirit are all appreciated.]
But I have to tell you. I’m leaving some items here in Scotland. I’m going to plant them all together and see if an Annie tree grows.[That sentence has made me laugh from the moment it started forming in my mind until now, when the humor should have passed.]
Seriously, though. I’m leaving some things behind. So as an homage to my possessions, I am going to show you these things now.
. . . . .
Item #1 : Target shirt with holes in it.
Truth of the matter is I should NOT be wearing clothes with holes. For Pete’s sake, I’m 31 years old, not a ten year old child who gets her clothes torn on tree limbs while climbing. So I am leaving this shirt here, Scotland, because I need to grow up. [Confession: this is the SECOND shirt with holes that I am throwing away. Embarrassing.]
To keep all of our dignities in tact, I’m going to tell this story as plain and simple as possible. I love these black jeggings [also from Target]. They are my favorite trousers. Edinburgh, the beautiful pedestrian city that is it, requires me to walk a lot. Like, A LOT. And sometimes, when you wear jeggings and walk a lot, there are consequences of the ripping kind. Ladies, are ya with me? So. The jeggings can no longer be worn, thus their abandonment. Au revoir, lovely jeggings. Thanks for the memories.
Item #3 : Two pair of Old Navy Jeans
It’s been a good season for me, y’all. Eating at home. Walking a lot. Being intentional to be as healthy as possible. So happy happy joy joy I get to leave these jeans here. I mean, they still fit sorta in that baggy-wanna-be-a-rapper kind of way. But I quit going for that look in about 1998. [Also, hopefully by leaving them here, I will refrain from “maturing” into that size again.]
Item #4 : Discover card
I am super-dee-duper close to getting out of debt. So, to ensure I don’t roll back into that slop, I’ve cut this puppy up and spread the pieces throughout trash cans in my flat. I’m not one to say that YOU can’t have a credit card – I’m not the boss of you – I’ve just “discovered” that I don’t need easy access to money I don’t have. I want to live a debt-free lifestyle and it starts with chopped plastic. [And don’t you judge me for my American flag design. I’m patriotic.]
Item #5 : Dumb Green Umbrella
It hasn’t always been a dumb umbrella. It’s just an old soul and has broken wings a-plenty. I used it for the entire five months I’ve lived here because I believe in pinching pence and there was no reason to buy a new one when this one works decently. But, within the last week, the wings have refused to cooperate, so this umbrella goes to Scottish Umbrella Heaven today… also known as the dumpster on my street.
Item #6: Beautiful Sequined Shoes
This is a real tear-jerker. I remember the day I bought these shoes and wore them to watch my friend’s husband coach middle school football. They’ve also seen glitz and glamour as my shoe of choice for the 2010 Grammy Awards in Los Angeles. But they have run their course. The sequins have fallen off in many places and the multiple wears on rainy days has caused them to draw, ahem, a little attention to themselves [in the scent department]. It is with the heaviest of hearts that I leave these beauts behind. I love you, shoes. And I always will.
Dishonorable mention goes to my H&M purse. The strap broke when I was here in February so I got it fixed in Nashville in the spring. The strap broke again in October and I binned that sucker faster than you can say CHEAP PLEATHER.
. . . . .
Somehow, by Mary-Poppins-like magic, all my other pieces of personal property have made it into a suitcase, with a few additions [thanks to the loss of weight from these items as well as the toiletries I brought in July and used up].
And the next time you hear from me, I’ll be on American soil!
Goodbye, Edinburgh. I love you like whoa.