Being single.

on December 29, 2011 in (in)courage with 30 comments by

"One" On Brick (Washington, DC)

I rarely write about being single. There are a lot of reasons why that I won’t take time to list today. But a big one, if I’m being completely honest with you, is that I don’t want to be the poster gal for Single Christian Life. I just don’t.

You know what happens to poster people? They stay poster people.

The Single Christians Life poster girl? She stays single. And that’s a scary thought.

[Fine. You’re right. That is a ridiculous thing to believe. But most fears are, aren’t they?]

Do you know what finally convinced me to write about being single?


The ones of you who commented on Day 28, the ones of you who email me and tell me the things about being single that you don’t want to leave in a comment, the ones of you who comment at (in)courage.

Do you know what REALLY convinced me to write about being single?


I felt a real push from Him over the last few months to write about the honest emotions that are happening in this season of my life. If I wait until I’m married to tell you what this feels like, it won’t be authentic. It will be a memory.

Hope comes in more concentrated doses if you are getting it from someone IN the moment, versus in the memory.

So I’m not the poster girl for Single Christian Life.

I’m the poster girl for Hope.

Hop over to (in)courage today to see the beginnings of what God is doing for single women through that community….

[And for you gals who are here every day, ‘singlets’ as I like to call us, first of all, I’m sorry I haven’t talked more about this. Secondly, please give your 2¢ over at (in)courage. We REALLY want to know how to do this well.]

[Also, part 2 of the deportation story is tomorrow. Here’s Deportation Part 1 if you haven’t gotten to read it yet.]

. . . . .

Are you new around these parts? Well welcome! 

Hi. I’m Annie. I write books for my job.

You can read more about me here.

You can follow me on twitter here.

You can like me on facebook here.

. . . . .

Your thoughts today, my friends?


  1. MCH
    posted on Dec 29, 2011 at 6:38 AM  |  reply

    I just wrote you a whole bunch of thoughts at incourage. How fun to meet you this way. I will be stopping by more often. Take care!

    • Annie
      posted on Dec 30, 2011 at 12:36 AM  |  reply

      I loved it. Thanks! Glad you’ll be joining us!

  2. posted on Dec 29, 2011 at 7:24 AM  |  reply

    Hey Annie!!
    I am thrilled that(in)courage is starting a conversation with single women and giving them a place and a voice!

    Thank you for being the pioneer! I am praying for this ministry and each of the women it will touch.

    Please continue to let me know how I can be a part of it. God is revealing to be more and more each day that this is where He wants me.

    Many blessings to you!!

    • Annie
      posted on Dec 30, 2011 at 12:37 AM  |  reply

      YOU got this party started, Brenda. Thank you so much.

      • Amy
        posted on Jan 01, 2012 at 10:19 AM  |  reply

        I appreciate BOTH of you, so much! God is so cool-a friend told me about Ann Voskamp, I found (in)courage because of Bloom’s discussion of Ann’s book, I first read Annie on (in)courage, and then Annie pointed me to Brenda’s blog! Praying for you both.

  3. posted on Dec 29, 2011 at 7:44 AM  |  reply

    You’re a great poster girl for hope, too.

    • Annie
      posted on Dec 30, 2011 at 12:37 AM  |  reply

      Thanks, friend. Not always… but sometimes.

  4. posted on Dec 29, 2011 at 8:31 AM  |  reply

    I don’t believe things are ever coincidental. Ever.

    That you start this conversation when this has been something I’ve really struggled with the past two weeks {Thanks Christmas! AND 10 engagements in my social circle in 1 week! Including my little sister! } is…not coincidental. 😉

    I am fine most of the time with my singleness and have really become better since learning your MIND…acrostic? Anagram? But there are still days I struggle.

    Thanks for talking about it. Stirring the pot. In a good way. 🙂 Our relationship status may change, but hope never does. Let’s all be poster children for hope. 🙂

    • Annie
      posted on Dec 30, 2011 at 12:37 AM  |  reply

      Amen, sister. Thanks for your constant support. Means a lot.

  5. posted on Dec 29, 2011 at 10:38 AM  |  reply

    Haven’t read the (in)courage post yet (though it is “open in new tab” on my computer), but I wholeheartedly agree with you about being the Poster Girl, as in my circle of friends, I am THAT girl.

    • Annie
      posted on Dec 30, 2011 at 12:37 AM  |  reply

      I hear ya. 🙂

  6. Annie
    posted on Dec 29, 2011 at 10:43 AM  |  reply

    Thanks Annie for opening the conversation for so many women in such a sweet, loving, girlfriend type of way!

    • Annie
      posted on Dec 30, 2011 at 12:38 AM  |  reply

      You’re welcome. 🙂

  7. Erin
    posted on Dec 29, 2011 at 11:01 AM  |  reply

    yay Annie is was so great and the dialogue you started was so honest.

    • Annie
      posted on Dec 30, 2011 at 12:38 AM  |  reply

      Thank you, Erin. I’m excited about what God is doing.

  8. posted on Dec 29, 2011 at 4:56 PM  |  reply

    You inspire me, Annie!
    So glad incourage is starting this!!

    • Annie
      posted on Dec 30, 2011 at 12:38 AM  |  reply

      I’m kinda nutso…. consider yourself warned. 🙂 And yes- I’m thrilled that the (in)courage sisters see singles as such a valuable group to love on.

      • posted on Dec 30, 2011 at 12:15 PM  |  reply

        @Annie, I’m a bit nutso myself

  9. posted on Dec 29, 2011 at 7:27 PM  |  reply

    I so hear you on not wanting to be that poster girl. I’m glad you got the conversation going over at (in)courage. Let’s see where God takes it next!

    • Annie
      posted on Dec 30, 2011 at 12:39 AM  |  reply

      It’s exciting, huh?

  10. Lisa Marie
    posted on Dec 29, 2011 at 8:16 PM  |  reply

    Hi Annie,
    I am so looking forward to having a group of people to discuss the perils of being a Christian single. I suspect I am older than many of you (46,) but the pressures are probably the same. Your comment about being a poster girl made me laugh right out loud. So very true! Can’t wait to see what is to come!

    • Annie
      posted on Dec 30, 2011 at 12:40 AM  |  reply

      Thanks, Lisa Marie! So glad you are here. Really really.

  11. posted on Dec 29, 2011 at 8:21 PM  |  reply

    “Hope comes in more concentrated doses if you are getting it from someone IN the moment, versus in the memory.” Love these words from you Annie and I’ve been thinking about them all day. I read your posts at (in)courage and here this morning before leaving for work. I came home and was blown away by the comments that have been flowing all day. Thank you for sharing your wisdom and encouragement today. Blessings!

    • Annie
      posted on Dec 30, 2011 at 12:40 AM  |  reply

      The comments have been INSANE…. now, how to shepherd these women well? Tis the challenge for us at (in)courage- pray for wisdom!

  12. posted on Dec 29, 2011 at 10:16 PM  |  reply

    This is a topic that the Lord has put on my heart to begin on my blog and your post was confirmation for me that I’m in the right place. I left a comment at (In)courage but really wanted to thank you. God used you to speak into my life and clearly, hundreds of other women as well. I look forward to what He is going to do.

    P.S. – I just learned we have a mutual friend – Shelly Torres – who knows you from GA. She’s one of my dearest friends. 🙂

    • Annie
      posted on Dec 30, 2011 at 12:41 AM  |  reply

      I heart Shelly mucho.

      Can’t wait to read your blog posts!

  13. MCH
    posted on Dec 30, 2011 at 3:07 AM  |  reply

    I love how God showed you in all the responses here and on incourage that you are on the right track… I read you were in Europa… So sad to read it now, I would have loved to meet you. Know if you want to travel you are very welcome in my home in Holland! Did you visit when you were so close?

  14. posted on Jan 02, 2012 at 1:31 PM  |  reply

    Just read your post and wanted to throw a resource out there for you and any other single women.

    On my blog, I started an online group of Women Praying Boldly for God to guide them in meeting godly husbands. It’s been a great way to come together and support other women in this search.

    If you want to check it out, you can read my post about it (and sign up to join!) here:

  15. posted on Jan 02, 2012 at 2:54 PM  |  reply

    The one God has picked for you is better than you could imagine. 2012 is going to be a great year!

    When I got tired of being single, I prayed to St. Ann and it worked right away.

  16. posted on Feb 21, 2014 at 11:43 AM  |  reply

    […] you probably know, single women are my heart (a little insight into God’s vision BTW ), and Annie Downs along with (in)Courage are giving single women a place and a voice! Go on over there, check it out, […]

Join the discussion

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

Get a sneak peek of Annie’s latest book! Click the link to download two free chapters of Let’s All Be Brave.