I don’t really want to talk about The Bachelor… but I also do. It’s a hugely popular show and I think this season has many discussion points.

[If you’re not down with The Bach, then I won’t be offended if you leave us here. Have a great Tuesday!]

This whole Bachelor season has been a trainwreck and while it was hard to watch at times, the worst heartaches have been TOTALLY SELF INFLICTED and I think we have to look at that and inspect our own lives.

Y’all. The messes we can get ourselves into seem to be far more disastrous than the ones that are thrust upon us, don’t they?

There are some very valuable things we can glean from this season- namely from Courtney’s behavior. And I want to lay them out if for no other reason than to remind myself of what kind of woman I want to be.

[Caveat: I do not know these people. I only know what you know- what we see on TV. I am not making a judgement call on anyone as a person, just simply trying to observe documented behaviors and talk about them.]

[That was literally the most official sentence I’ve ever written. In a post about The Bachelor. Good gracious.]

1. Manipulation only gets you so far and honestly, in the end, it leaves you feeling insecure.

  • If you saw the “After The Final Rose” last night, you saw this one in action. Courtney manipulated all season long, Ben [AND AMERICA!] figured it out, and she is the one left sad and insecure.

2. Feeling regret means “I wish I would have done that differently BECAUSE the results of my bad behavior were so not in my favor.” Feeling repentant means “I wish I would have done that differently because I was wrong.” There is a big difference. Big.

  • Courtney had the chance to make things right with lots of people – Ben, the other girls, you, me, etc. – and when she apologized, she always said, “I had no idea it would go like this.” Dear Courtney, you can’t make behavioral decisions without thinking about the results. You can’t.

3. Consequences are real and sometimes they can be severely expensive.

  • Whether this relationship will make it or not, only time will tell. But this may be one of those times that the consequences of bad behavior were costly. Really costly.

4. Being unkind to one person can affect your relationships with other people. Just because you aren’t mean to ME doesn’t mean it won’t hurt our relationship.

  • Courtney was always sugar sweet to Ben. It was the girls she was awful to on a regular basis. But in the end, EVERY relationship suffered.
5. The way Ben treated Linzi and the way Ben treated Courtney were seriously different – a visible difference between when a woman pursues a man and when a man pursues a woman.
  • Linzi couldn’t quit telling Ben how much she loved him. Ben couldn’t quit telling Courtney great things about her. My friend Cassie is forever challenging me to live like this- let the man pursue because it makes all the difference. And sheesh, seeing it happen last night, I was like, “Oh, yeah Cassie. I see exactly what you mean.” Because whoa. It was different.

6. Something really whackadoodle has happened to our culture because we [meaning me as well] sit down and watch people build relationships and get genuinely hurt for our viewing pleasure. 

For anyone who doesn’t watch The Bachelor, this post has probably made you gag and say, “Annie Downs takes her TV way to serious and I think she may have lost her marbles.” I don’t. I didn’t. I promise.

I think it just interesting enough that we should discuss.

. . . . .

Your thoughts?