Here’s the situation. I have some people, you met two of them and there are a few more, that have started checking in on ole AnnieBlogs. In fact, my friend Will just the other day said, “hey, I like your blog thingy you’ve got going on. It’s cool.”

[That’s a paraphrase, but I know he said “blog” and “cool.” I know that.]

And I am worried because these poor guys keep having to hear about glitter and nail polish and being 31 and single and recipes for small group and really all manner of things that don’t matter to dudes.

And I bet there are more of you out there. Ahem, DAD. Ahem, others I do not know.

So.

I told them I would write a post for dudes in my best dude voice.

[I’m sorry and you’re welcome.]

Here goes nothin’.

. . . . .

Yo. [Terrible start] So, like, how are the Clippers and the Lakers and the Kings all going to play in the same arena this weekend? That many teams in the playoffs? LA is sick. [I’m terrible at this] I’m glad I’m not in charge of flipping the Staples Center from ice to court. You know what I would do? Put the wooden floor on top of the ice. Added level of challenge, having the floors freezing cold and all.

I mean, if the Dodgers would put together any kind of season this year, LA might have the sports year of their dreams. They deserve to get pumped about these teams since the Oakland Raiders are the worst.

Speaking of the NFL, wanna be in my fantasy league? Draft will be in the fall. Go ahead and make up an inappropriate but hilarious team name.

You know what’s awesome? Mexican food. Tons of chips. It’s just awesome that you can sit down and order and for like, $8, get piles of meat and cheese and guacamole. I mean, it’s one of the only times I feel totally full. Usually I get home and I’m all, “what’s to eat?” even if I just ate. [Girl Annie isn’t like this at all, but Dude Voice Annie totally is.]

By the way, girls are crazy. [I don’t know how to expound on this because I, for one, am actually crazy. I just know Connor confirmed that Dude Voice Annie should talk about it.]

Also, you know what’s cool? Wearing shorts. Every day.

And.

Fast cars.

And.

Fart jokes.

. . . . .

And scene.

Well, I think that went great, if you are into stereotyping and all.

It actually went horribly. Apparently I am a disaster when I have to talk to boys like I’m a boy. I can handle myself when I’m talking to boys like I am a girl [in fact, I am a girl], but when your brain doesn’t work like a boy [mine does not] then it is hard to talk like one.

. . . . .

For realz, I am going to start making an effort to have some gender neutral posts every blue moon so the fellas don’t always have to suffer through my constant femaleness.

So male readers- are you out there? Will you identify yourself? Tell me what kind of blog posts you want me to write for you. Questions? Comments? Wanna guest post? 

Ladies, you can comment too… what topics should I cover for the dudes?