If you need me, I’ll be cowering somewhere.

on May 22, 2012 in (in)courage with 23 comments by

As much as writing about being single has kinda grown on me, there are still days.

Like today.

There are days like today where I write something brutally honest on a bad day and while it is 100% true, it still makes me want to hide out for a week or month or an undetermined amount of time.

I am, if nothing else, terribly courageous. 🙂

[Read: sarcasm.]

Today I am writing over at (in)courage about this one day before Christmas when my friends and I went to see a movie.

And it is pitiful and raw and honest and it is how I feel sometimes and while I know you get it and have been there and maybe are still getting it or maybe get it in another context besides singleness, I’m still feeling some fear about posting it not because it is wrong, but because I wish it wasn’t true.

Also, apparently, I’m feeling the need to write run-on sentences. My word.

. . . . .

Some other things that you may/may not care about:

1. The boy in the story travels for his job and I am hoping beyond hope that he will just stay away from my corner of the internet today. Mainly because I admit that I had an inward crumble because of him. I don’t want boys knowing they make me crumble.

Melt? Yes.

Crumble? No.

2. I am feeling a little better about movies. Not great, mind you, but I did watch Hugo and loved it.

3. We are all allowed to have bad days in whatever life season we are living. I’m just not sure it is great to also have a writing deadline fall on those same days. 🙂

4. This is still really true, no matter how I feel.

Isaiah 41:17

The poor and needy search for water,

but there is none;

their tongues are parched with thirst.

But I the LORD will answer them;

I, the God of Israel, will not forsake them.

I hope you share this (in)courage post because this isn’t one of those where you can go, “Barbie- read this- I know you are desperately sad about being single!” but it is one that, hopefully, a single gal will click on from your facebook feed and know that while she is hurting, she isn’t alone.

The run-on sentences. They are bountiful.

Thanks for letting me be me. I really mean that.

. . . . .

Are you new around these parts? Well welcome!

Hi. I’m Annie. I write books for my job.

You can read more about me here.

You can follow me on twitter here.

You can like me on facebook here.

You can follow me on pinterest here.

. . . . .

[PS- as long as we’re single-talking, I wrote a guest post for my friend Sammy titled Silently Single. Feel free to pop over there and check it out- the comments are really awesome.]

23 comments

  1. posted on May 22, 2012 at 7:01 AM  |  reply

    I love your heart and your honesty. I think of you when I see the print I won here, “Be of good courage and he shall strengthen your heart.” Can we be friends even though I’m almost old enough to be your mother?

  2. Erin
    posted on May 22, 2012 at 7:25 AM  |  reply

    I love this Annie! One of my friends calls romantic comedies “emotional porn” and I think I agree. I am really encouraged by your honesty.

  3. posted on May 22, 2012 at 7:51 AM  |  reply

    I totally get this. But for me it isn’t movies and romantic love. For me, it is tv and babies.

    I’ve been praying for a baby for 7 years.

    But Marshall and Lilly? They struggle for, what?, half a season and then they have a baby. Meredith and Derrick struggle for maybe a season and then beautiful little Zola from Africa just waltzes right into the hospital needing parents.

    So I totally get it.

    And I’m at the improbable point. And I’m trying to decide if I want to hope anymore or if I want to fold. And I’m feeling strangely peaceful about it.

    I wish you peace, my friend.

  4. merideth
    posted on May 22, 2012 at 8:20 AM  |  reply

    The post to your friend’s blog you mention at the end here…I can’t clikc on the link above. So, can you email the full web address to me so I can check out what you wrote? Thanks! On my way to (in)courage to read what you wrote there. I can already tell by your description I’ll be able to relate.

  5. Sarah Jones
    posted on May 22, 2012 at 9:52 AM  |  reply

    Hi Annie
    Ive been meaning to write to you for some time and as usual time escapes me! Thank you so much for all your writings and sharing your heart, it has been such an inspiration to me especially this last year when being 35 and not married really hit home on a daily basis and having too many heart breaks !
    I want to encourage everyone to still believe God has the plan even when it feels like he doesnt care or doesnt show up how or when we expect. Two months ago when I least expected it God brought an amazing man into my life from what seemed out of the blue and even though it was a long wait I would wait all over again for this man because its clear God was on the case and knew exactley who I should be with. I know this so easy for me to say single girls but please please dont give up hope, I nearley did and then God moved suddenly. If he did it for me I know he will do it for you.

  6. Emily
    posted on May 22, 2012 at 10:02 AM  |  reply

    Thanks for your honesty, Annie! I’ve been feeling A LOT of these same feelings lately & I really appreciated when you said we have to be honest to name & claim those feelings. A lot of times I feel like I’m guilty of brushing things under the rug, but that doesn’t help either! Feel it. Name it .. but like you said, recognize it’s just a season. Thanks for sharing your wisdom!

  7. posted on May 22, 2012 at 11:18 AM  |  reply

    Your post really resonated with me. Thank you for sharing. It’s nice to know there are other gals around the web that are going through the same struggle I am.

  8. posted on May 22, 2012 at 11:20 AM  |  reply

    Annie,
    I enjoyed reading your post on singleness. I am glad somebody out there is able to pen what I do experience. You are not alone.
    I am 40 and single. Never thought I’d be single at 40. Anyway, went to church on Mother’s day. Though the pastor meant well to tell the kids to give all the ladies a rose in my heart I wish they would not do that. I do not consider myself a mother and I do find it offensive when they do that. People greet me happy Mother’s day and I wish people would be more sensitive in this issue. Not everyone is a mother. Anyway, I don’t know if other single ladies feel the same way. Sorry to be not too enthused by that sweet gesture by the pastor but that is what I feel.

  9. Jennifer
    posted on May 22, 2012 at 12:05 PM  |  reply

    Thank you for your post. I understand the crumbling and the inward cringing at being so honest to a “roomful” of strangers. However, your honesty encourages my heart that I am not the only one going through this. Mine is a little different than yours though. I am a newly divorced (was seperated for 2 1/2 years), single mom of 2 girls, and in my late 30’s.. ahem.. closer to 40 than 20 these days :)Normally, I would think these would be things that work against me ever being in another relationship. However, God knows my heart and my desire to honor Him in a God-centered relationship, and I know He will work all things for my good and His glory. Knowing we have to go through hard times, even if EVEN IF, it is to encourage others makes it worthwhile to me. However, I have to agree with you. I cant seem to find one romantic movie that makes me feel better. But I do enjoy Pride and Prejudice with Colin Firth, maybe because it does stoke that ember of hope a little. 🙂 Thank you again for this post. Blessings ~Jennifer

  10. Stephanie
    posted on May 22, 2012 at 1:26 PM  |  reply

    I love reading your stuff, Annie (wow, that must sound flattering). But really – I enjoy your serious writing and your funny writing (ie – the note to the guys last week). And today’s post at (in)courage was no exception. I heard your heart and I was grateful for your honesty.

  11. Trena
    posted on May 22, 2012 at 2:34 PM  |  reply

    Thank you for being courageous. You are, ya know. It takes a HUGE amount of it to say how you really feel…out loud…for other people to hear. Your thought that feelings should be identified and felt (not overfelt) spoke to me. Thank you.

  12. posted on May 22, 2012 at 3:01 PM  |  reply

    Thank you for your honest post on (in)courage today.

  13. posted on May 22, 2012 at 5:31 PM  |  reply

    I love that you shared this.

    Thank you!

  14. posted on May 22, 2012 at 7:47 PM  |  reply

    Thanks Annie.

  15. Cheri Shephard
    posted on May 22, 2012 at 8:27 PM  |  reply

    Heard there was a recent marriage in your family. Love can happen at any age.

  16. posted on May 22, 2012 at 8:51 PM  |  reply

    Keep at it, friend. These (in)courage posts continue to hit a nerve in the best way possible.

  17. posted on May 22, 2012 at 9:44 PM  |  reply

    AMEN!!

    I am right there with you!

    Thanks for the honesty!

  18. posted on May 22, 2012 at 10:23 PM  |  reply

    Love your honest words & thankful that you say them.

  19. marylyn
    posted on May 23, 2012 at 11:10 AM  |  reply

    thank you. your words, your authenticity & reminding me of truth that’s true even when it doesn’t feel true mean more than i can say in comment box. thanks for not staying silent. thanks for exposing your heart to the comments & response of other people. thank you for not wanting to be annoying. thank you for being a lone voice amongst a multitude of other voices, many of whom have different stories than you.
    your post made me wish i lived in nashville so we could go to movies together:)

  20. Naomi
    posted on May 24, 2012 at 9:00 AM  |  reply

    Thank you for writing the words I had in my head but couldn’t find a way organized and speak myself. I tried to comment over on incourage.. but it kept giving me an error msg.

    Please keep up your awesome writing, run on sentences and all 🙂 Have a blessed day!

  21. Stephanie Quick
    posted on May 26, 2012 at 4:49 PM  |  reply

    I can totally appreciate everything you said. There are times that being a 30-something single stinks. Thank you for your honesty and for saying what many of us are thinking. 😉

  22. Ruth Katam
    posted on Jun 06, 2012 at 7:13 AM  |  reply

    I like the way you have presented the subject.

  23. posted on Jun 22, 2012 at 1:50 PM  |  reply

    I am playing catch up on your blog but the timing of reading this post is absolutely. stinkin’. perfect.

    “In a movie, this is right when the plot twists and a knight comes riding in. In real life, this is right when I do another load of laundry and pay the bills and I keep living… but nothing changes.”

    I appreciate your honesty. It brings tears to my eyes. I love your humor. It makes me do that ridiculous I-hope-no-one-hears-me-snorting kind of laughter. Most of all I admire your guts. Thanks for living your heart out loud and being such an encouragement.

    p.s. if you marry Cowboy Josh can I please get a wedding invite? *grins*

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