This post shall include spoilers for anyone who gives a rip about the world of The Bachelor. You’ve been warned.

Let’s get serious about Sean the Bachelor.

[In the following blog post, I’m going to say things like “he is s0-and-so” and I want you to know that I do not actually currently know Sean, so the things “he is” are things he is presenting to use via television and internet. Caveat complete.]

Sean is a good dude, isn’t he? I mean, at every turn he just seems to be seeking God and actually being wise and I’m all, “No joke, if this guy lived in Nashville, we’d be buds.”

We would.

We wouldn’t be in love, but we would totally sit together at church and I’d try to set him up with lots of my friends and I bet we’d sometimes hang out at Portland Brew and I’m just telling y’all he has won me over and I want to be his friend forever.

just pals

See? Look at us. Just two buddies, hanging out, I’m smiling too big as I tend to do when I’m with my friends.

So, with that being said, my friend Sean had a big night last night and has now narrowed down his choices to three gals: Lindsay, Catherine, and Ashlee.

No one can be shocked that Dez went home. I mean, seriously, that brother? WOOF. Surely he feels bad today, right? I mean, surely. I can’t blame Sean for letting her go- to be related to that fella for the rest of your life? No to the thanks.

Catherine? Eh, she’s alright. My #2. She seems like fun, but the things her sisters said? I would be concerned. Sean, I’m concerned. I wish you’d listen to me because you know I’m a genius and I’ve been right so far in every other situation where you’ve asked my advice. [These are things I say to my guy friends.]

Lindsay is my #3, though her little teen brother was adorbs and is probably a hit with all the ladies now at school. I think she’s too young to make this thing last.

My hopeful winner? AshLee. Am I sympathetic to a 32 year old single girl finding love and being FULL OF EMOTION all the time and dramatizing the polar bear swim into a type of baptism?

Maybe.

The girls I watch with were not so impressed with AshLee’s story telling or her dramatic arts. Meanwhile I say quietly and judged the fact that I totally related to her and found her ability to express herself to be very sweet and similar to what I would do.

Ahem.

So. I hope she is the one that he picks.

Meanwhile. Tierra is a loon and I am glad she is gone, though I still am not sure she lights a candle to the crazy that Courtney offered us. Also, Tierra is on instagram, so I hope that you waste a few minutes of your Tuesday scrolling through her insanity, including an apparent engagement?

And there is a Sean Tells All episode tonight, so that is great. I love when my friends are on TV.

. . . . .

Who do you think Sean is going to pick? 

Once he and I are friends, do you want to come hang out with us?