What I learned about God from Nicole and Jimmy.

on January 8, 2015 in Culture Matters, Gal Stuff with 62 comments by

jimmy

Please tell me you’ve seen this clip with Jimmy Fallon and Nicole Kidman from Tuesday night’s episode of The Tonight Show? Where Nicole tells him that ten years ago she hung out with him thinking they could maybe be a thing- both were single and she was interested. He thought it was a hang out about a movie role. And a love connection was never made.

Watch it if you have a few minutes….

I watched them the other night, Jimmy being in legitimate shock at Nicole being interested enough in him to hang out and see if there was any chemistry. He had no idea that was her intention then.

That day, she walked away disappointed. And still single.

That day, he was oblivious. And still single.

Eventually they married other people, had kids, live way different lives.

And as I watched that segment, I felt God whisper to me,

“I know.”

. . . . .

I think about myself. I think about my single friends. I think about the worries we have (I have) of being alone forever. I think about that time I cried at my dentist’s office when he said, “the right guy at the wrong time is still the wrong guy, Annie,” because I knew he was telling me the truth even though I was sure the character in question was (a) the right guy at (b) the right time.

And I cannot even list for you the amount of times I’ve thought a relationship was going to work and it didn’t. But I can list the reasons that scroll through my mind every time it happens.

(I could. But I won’t.)

Yet here sit two celebrities, seemingly not hindered by budget or looks or opportunity or any of the lies we hear in our heads as to why we are single, and they missed a chance.

They missed the wrong; but in time, they got the right.

I needed to see that.

I needed to see that sometimes it just doesn’t work out because sometimes it just doesn’t work out. I needed to watch as two people, ten years later, finally see the story through the same lens. I needed to be reminded that God’s sovereign hand is tightly gripped around my little life. I needed to remember that for all the times I’ve walked away from a man and thought, “dang, he is NOT interested in me” and felt deeply alone and sad, Nicole Kidman has felt that, the guy had no idea, and the truth? God knew all along.

God. Knew. All. Along.

. . . . .

He knows.

He knows when I walk away disappointed. He knows my story. But He knows the story of each man I encounter too. God knows the chances I feel I have missed. He knows that often what I call a “miss,” He calls a “rescue.”

He knows.

He knows when I walk in a room full of the wrong guy, I will still try to make one (or two) right. And they don’t play along and I’m sad. He knows better for me will come. And maybe better and I have been in the same room already. I don’t know. God knows.

And whether you are Nicole Kidman or Annie Downs or [fill in your name here], I think this story is great reminder that He knows you. He sees you. There is not an encounter in your life in which He has not been near. And He is working ALL things together for the good of those who love Him (Romans 8:28).

We will never know how many near misses and misunderstood stories and random circumstances all had to dance together to get us right here, with the right people, at the right time.

But He knows.

. . . . .

62 comments

  1. posted on Jan 08, 2015 at 7:17 AM  |  reply

    I loved that video segment… it was so fascinating to watch it unfold.

    Love you’re always learning and allowing God to mold your heart. Does makes me laugh the dentist gave you dating advice during a visit.

  2. Miranda
    posted on Jan 08, 2015 at 7:39 AM  |  reply

    This was needed today. Thank you.

  3. posted on Jan 08, 2015 at 7:41 AM  |  reply

    This –> “They missed the wrong; but in time, they got the right.” I might love this line more than I love the part in the video where Jimmy falls off his chair. And I love that A LOT. I’m prone to jumping into “right now” without pausing to ask God if it’s right FOR now.

  4. posted on Jan 08, 2015 at 7:43 AM  |  reply

    Girl, I love you! I love how raw and honest you are about the things you struggle with and how you openly share that you’re a work in progress. So many people in platform positions look like they have it all together making everyone else feel like we don’t measure up. You’re the real deal and your Papa LOVES YOU!!!!!

  5. Debs
    posted on Jan 08, 2015 at 8:04 AM  |  reply

    Great blog post Annie…you were on my heart YESTERDAY as I randomly (although we know nothing is random with God) met a lady in her late 60’s…we talked about Jesus..and we talked about relationships. …she said she waited for THE man that God had chosen…she did not marry until thirty something…and has had no regrets…while others married the wrong one…she waited and has been blessed…I immediately thought of you. ..and then read this today! God knew..God knows and He hears your heart!

  6. Heather
    posted on Jan 08, 2015 at 8:27 AM  |  reply

    Loved your dentist’s comment “The right guy at the wrong time is still the wrong guy.” It’s hard to trust God’s timing sometimes but I’m so glad He is in control and I’m not the one who has to get it right, because I’m pretty certain I’d fail miserably if I had to make such big decisions.

    Stay strong, Annie. God is using you to say and do wonderful things during your time of singleness!

  7. annon
    posted on Jan 08, 2015 at 8:32 AM  |  reply

    Yes, yes, & yes!! My Mr.Right @ the right time came a lot later than I hoped, and of course, he was so worth the wait. I always tell him he’s more than I prayed for, and he replies with you’re an unexpected blessing. I read this (that last paragraph espeically) and just think of what a great love story you’ll have, and what wisom and guidance you can give your children. I am so SO thankful that God KNOWS and that I listened! And that I can pass that on to my 2 girls. Love you, Annie!

  8. posted on Jan 08, 2015 at 8:40 AM  |  reply

    Completely different perspective here, but wanted to share anyway… My husband and I both went through painful divorces before meeting each other. At the time, we were hurt, confused, embarrassed, ashamed. But God knew then. He used that terrible time to bring us together. Had we not gone through divorces, we would not be with each other now. We did not see it at the time, but see so clearly now. Turns out, the wrong was a stepping stone to the right 😉

  9. Stephanie
    posted on Jan 08, 2015 at 9:10 AM  |  reply

    Yes! I am in awe of how perfect the timing of this is. I loved that segment, but I honestly didn’t think about it this way. And now I’m so glad that I saw this post – God’s timing IS right. And I’m sorry it has taken me so long to recognize this and accept it.

    Thank you, Annie, for being vulnerable and sharing this!

  10. Barb
    posted on Jan 08, 2015 at 9:14 AM  |  reply

    Now THAT my friend is what we call a good word. Thanks for letting God speak through you and Holy Spirit please impart this truth about your Sovereignty and your goodness in our hearts so deep. Thank you Jesus that you know us and love us!

  11. kaye
    posted on Jan 08, 2015 at 9:18 AM  |  reply

    Annie: Let me be the first to offer to throw you a bridal shower. By faith. I know if this is in your heart to find the right guy, it was put there by the Lord and He is on the move. You have a lot to accomplish in your ministry and, frankly, that may be God’s priority now. But, He is faithful. When I had trouble getting pregnant, I went out and bought a blue and a pink baby t-shirt. By faith. I put them in the top of my closet, believing God would hear my prayer and wanting to show confidence in that. It may have seemed silly to others, but I knew those little infant shirts were there – waiting (I never got to use the blue one, btw…). And one day, I put it on my little girl. It was years later, but it blessed me. It was my tangible sign that God is faithful to accomplish what He put in my heart. So – I’m offering now to celebrate in the future with you. I don’t know when it will be, but I know it will be.

  12. posted on Jan 08, 2015 at 9:20 AM  |  reply

    He knows that often what I call a “miss,” He calls a “rescue.”

    So beautiful and thoughtful and encouraging. SLASH. I saw this last night for the first time when our girl Emily posted it on Facebook and DIED. It’s one of the greatest things I’ve ever seen. Thanks for making it even better by putting really beautiful, relevant truth between its lines.

  13. Emily
    posted on Jan 08, 2015 at 9:38 AM  |  reply

    I love this. Thanks for sharing your heart. And Jimmy and Nicole are about the funniest thing ever.

  14. posted on Jan 08, 2015 at 9:46 AM  |  reply

    This is exactly what I needed to hear today. Annie, this post spoke straight to my heart and I have been blessed through you! This sentence particularly stood out to me today as I am going through an incredibly painful breakup. “He knows that often what I call a “miss,” He calls a “rescue.” Thank you very very much!

  15. posted on Jan 08, 2015 at 9:53 AM  |  reply

    We watched the video yesterday and busted a gut laughing. Now I want to thank you. I truly love your perspective and what God laid on your heart to share. I’m not single but have children who are and I am going to make your post required reading. 🙂 Even though it talks about singleness, I found myself applying it to other areas of my life. Thank you so, so, so much for sharing!!!

  16. Jess
    posted on Jan 08, 2015 at 9:53 AM  |  reply

    Oh Annie. Bless you. He sees you. He sees me. He’s good. Always.

  17. posted on Jan 08, 2015 at 10:10 AM  |  reply

    I watched this yesterday and LOVED every awkward second of it. Because, I guess, it’s the dream, you know? That Nicole Kidman wanted to date you? (Obviously, not Nicole Kidman. But whoever your Nicole Kidman is. Probably Keith Urban. A tall Keith Urban. ANYWAY.) But also because of the “Look! Stars are just like us!” factor that Jimmy’s show so often has going for it – but in this case it was cranked up to 11,000. But then you go and write this and I’m not single but it made me cry anyway, because it isn’t just about being single (although it’s obviously that, too, mostly).

    Good grief. Don’t be alarmed, but today is a writing day for me and judging by the rambling ramble of this comment, I am in trouble. In sum: great post. I love it and I love you, and I hope to someday write about pop culture like you. The end.

    • posted on Jan 08, 2015 at 9:04 PM  |  reply

      I loved how normal they were in that moment. It’s sooo easy to get caught up in comparing our lives to their PR version of “reality” and think we are missing something. I love that dating for rich, beautiful, successful, talented people is just as awkward and weird as for the rest of us!

  18. Aunt Jennifer
    posted on Jan 08, 2015 at 10:13 AM  |  reply

    Saw the segment and laughed out loud. Read your post and cried a little. Blessings on you, Beautiful Girl. This fills me with hope. And please invite me to Kaye’s shower; I’ll bring a great gift I promise.

  19. jennyf
    posted on Jan 08, 2015 at 10:15 AM  |  reply

    He will be so worth the wait!

  20. posted on Jan 08, 2015 at 10:16 AM  |  reply

    I absolutely love this! Beautiful!

  21. posted on Jan 08, 2015 at 10:24 AM  |  reply

    This is SO good, Annie. My favorite line because I have lived it: He knows that often what I call a “miss,” He calls a “rescue.” I can’t tell you how many misses/rescues along the way I didn’t understand until I met my husband at age 37. And I’m so thankful now for all the misses because THIS is truly the only right plan for my life. I know you’ll look back and say the same! xo

  22. posted on Jan 08, 2015 at 11:03 AM  |  reply

    […] Please tell me you’ve seen this clip with Jimmy Fallon and Nicole Kidman from Tuesday night’s episode of The Tonight …read more       […]

  23. posted on Jan 08, 2015 at 11:14 AM  |  reply

    Thank you for sharing. As a single 31 year old Christian woman, I have all those doubt’s and questions. Thanks for reminding us that God’s timing is perfect.

  24. Brigetta
    posted on Jan 08, 2015 at 12:02 PM  |  reply

    Thanks Annie for putting my thoughts and perspective about waiting into words. I feel the same way, being a 27 year old single gal around friends who are engaged, married and having kids. To know and be reminded that God knows our hearts and who is the right match for us; that He has the perfect perspective 🙂

  25. posted on Jan 08, 2015 at 1:30 PM  |  reply

    And isn’t it maybe a little encouraging to think that we could have all had a Jimmy moment, too? Grin. Who knows who could have just been smitten with us but God blinded our eyes to it for everyone’s best?! Maybe that’s hopeful, but it is fun to think so 😉

  26. Traci
    posted on Jan 08, 2015 at 4:20 PM  |  reply

    Brilliant!

  27. posted on Jan 08, 2015 at 4:55 PM  |  reply

    Beautiful post. I met my husband when I was 30 and he was 40. We had both wanted to be married for a long time. I remember many moments like this. When I was interested in someone and they were oblivious. You are right… God sees your heart, your disappointments, your desires.

    As I waited for years for God to bring the right man into my life, my expectations grew higher but God still surpassed them all. Ephesians 3:20. He can do more than your wildest dreams. It is worth the wait. My husband loves and appreciates me like no other man ever could. When you wait 40 years, you appreciate so much more fully when God brings the one into your life who surpasses your dreams.

    Thank you for being honest and real in your writing.

  28. posted on Jan 08, 2015 at 8:06 PM  |  reply

    Annie F Downs. You are my hero. I watched this video earlier tonight and I LOVE how God spoke to you through it! I so need these words.

  29. posted on Jan 08, 2015 at 8:40 PM  |  reply

    Annie,

    You sure have a knack for taking something on everyone’s mind and putting a spin on it. I loved that segment, and I didn’t even for a second think about the bigger reason why everyone seemed to connect with it. Lovely piece. Sharing with my readers!

  30. posted on Jan 08, 2015 at 9:00 PM  |  reply

    I just cannot tell you how much as a 30-something single girl this encourages me! I watched the clip last night and thought “oh good, the beautiful people are just as awkward as I am!” What a great relief.

    Thanks for the very poignant and timely reminder that God knows. I really love this line: “He knows that often what I call a “miss,” He calls a “rescue.”” I’m so thankful that he lets us see the rescue in retrospect.

  31. posted on Jan 08, 2015 at 9:26 PM  |  reply

    Wow! Such an awesome article! That video was hilarious! I was so encouraged by this and what a comfort to know we are not alone in these “What if?” and “Why not me?” moments. God is so good! Thank you for this, Annie!

  32. posted on Jan 08, 2015 at 11:03 PM  |  reply

    […] What I Learned about God from Nicole and Jimmy by Annie Downs – READ THIS ONE! It’s filled with so much truth! […]

  33. posted on Jan 09, 2015 at 4:00 AM  |  reply

    […] post by Annie Downs (which also has a favorite “watch” from the week in it!) – I’m not single, […]

  34. Molly Hasty
    posted on Jan 09, 2015 at 5:11 AM  |  reply

    Thank you for writing this post Annie! It’s comforting to know that someone else feels the same things I do about being single sometimes. You are such an encouragement and I’m thankful for you! God is using you in amazing ways!

  35. Jesi
    posted on Jan 09, 2015 at 8:41 AM  |  reply

    Annie, I appreciate your voice of encouragement and authenticity, of reminding me of truth in the really hard seasons that can be filled with discouragement, bitterness, hopelessness of whether God really sees me, and really well-meaning friends who give cliché answers. Thank you for your words.

  36. posted on Jan 09, 2015 at 9:33 AM  |  reply

    Just LOVE this, shared today on facebook. I have so many single friends who I know will be blessed by this. I’m married and was blessed by this. This can apply to so many areas of our lives. Thank you so much for being real and honest, it truly is inspiring!!

  37. Tara
    posted on Jan 09, 2015 at 12:01 PM  |  reply

    Oh Annie I needed to read this! These words so echo my heart. That segment was so funny but I agree also a great reminder that God knows and hears me!!

  38. Merideth
    posted on Jan 09, 2015 at 1:55 PM  |  reply

    Love your post, and as everyone else said it is nice to know I’m not the only one struggling. The video was so hilarious! I laughed so hard my face hurt. I loved how shocked Jimmy Fallon was, and it feels good to share something with someone as beautiful as Nicole Kidman. Being interested in a guy and trying to find out if there is chemestery between you only to find the guy is ablivious or not interested…Something I am familiar with and just experienced this past year. I was so embaressed by my interest that I hope he really was ablivious because I felt so foolish. Anyway, like someone else said, it’s awesome to see famous people as normal as we all are, since they are regular people too. OH, and I love the bridal shower idea someone mentioned above. Love ya girl and praying for your future husband to come at the right time(hopefully soon).

  39. posted on Jan 09, 2015 at 3:23 PM  |  reply

    It is a nice reminder that God is aware of what is going on, He is always aware of our hearts and the “what if?” game we play. I like that God knows, he knows our feelings and theirs, and is aware of what is going on. It is nice to be able to look back like Nicole and Jimmy did and see how the way things turned out was what is best. 🙂

  40. Madi
    posted on Jan 09, 2015 at 6:22 PM  |  reply

    I love your insight, Annie. i haven’t watched the clip yet, but I had to share your wisdom on facebook, so my other friends could see it. It’s good advice for anyone!!!!!

  41. Amy
    posted on Jan 09, 2015 at 8:13 PM  |  reply

    Oh Annie, how right you are!

    I absolutely loved that clip. It was so nice to see that “THOSE” kinds of people have their hits and misses too.

    As an eternally single 27 year old, struggling with whether or not I can even imagine it being God’s plan for me to have someone, I thank you for the reminder that HE knows!

  42. posted on Jan 10, 2015 at 5:21 AM  |  reply

    i used to think there was jus one person for another like soul mates
    but my relationship philosophy sorta changed
    Yes God is sovereign and knows our future
    but at the same time, im wondering how that balances with our role of responsibility and choices
    anyways, great blog!

  43. posted on Jan 10, 2015 at 6:59 AM  |  reply

    […] clip? Is perfection. And what Annie Downs writes about it–applies to so many things in […]

  44. Gene
    posted on Jan 10, 2015 at 8:48 AM  |  reply

    Can I just tell you how sweet the Lord was this week to speak through Jimmy Fallon and You !! I had a horrible date on Sunday, like I blew it( and at 35 you don’t think you have time to screw up not just a good, but a great guy you thought didn’t exist). I saw this on Late Night, and texted my friends how much better I felt! And then saw your post, and you beautifully articulated exactly why I felt so much better. God has me. I didn’t mess up something God didn’t ordain for me. What joy it is to sit in His hands. I have passed this one to so many people, and thank God for reminding me through you and 2 celebrities I don’t know-He saw my heart this week and He knows;) Thanks Annie!

  45. torey
    posted on Jan 10, 2015 at 9:50 AM  |  reply

    Very good read. I am not a practicing Christian (fallen Catholic right here!) but this article applies even if you don’t use God as the driving force. I cannot tell you how many of my twenty-something year old friends throw themselves into every relationship they can just because. The desperation of wanting to feel something is stronger than their resolve to wait until they feel THE thing. Mainly, I got from this article is to not sell yourself short and to not panic and dive into an unhealthy relationship. Well said.

    • Lauren
      posted on Jan 10, 2015 at 9:51 PM  |  reply

      Torey girl, I agree Annie makes a good point regardless of religion. And this is a total tangent, but when I saw your comment it pulled at my heartstrings and I just wanted you to know that even practicing Christians are constantly falling–we all fall, as humans–but God is there with open arms for you and me both, whether we’re walking toward Him or not. I converted to Catholicism a couple years ago, at age 24, and rather than turn me into a prude or restrict my life the way many people think it might, coming to know Jesus so intimately in the Eucharist has opened up the joy of heaven to me and freed me to love with a heart that is far bigger than my own.

      I want to apologize for anyone who has hurt you or made you feel “less” in the name of Catholicism, or Christianity. In the same way that not all white people are racists, but those who are put a very sour taste in the mouth, not all Catholics are judgmental or uptight or whatever else people associate with them. I can understand why it might not be appealing to return to the fountain after a bad experience, and I’m not here to argue you back to it. I just want you to be assured that you are loved by the One who made you, and He is steadfast and wonderful. <3

      To Annie: stay strong, honey! God has amazing plans for you, and for all you ladies (& gentlemen!)

  46. Hillary
    posted on Jan 10, 2015 at 10:22 AM  |  reply

    God reminds me of this often. And I’m so glad I hear it.

    Also, where do I get a dentist like yours?? What an incredible piece of wisdom.

  47. posted on Jan 10, 2015 at 4:28 PM  |  reply

    […] read two articles in the past couple of days that reminded me of this- Single and Not Waiting and What I Learned About God from Nicole and Jimmy. I am on God’s time. Not mine. God intends for me to serve Him in my present state and reach […]

  48. Meg
    posted on Jan 10, 2015 at 8:39 PM  |  reply

    Such a cool perspective! Thank you for sharing your heart on this.

  49. Tracey
    posted on Jan 11, 2015 at 8:58 AM  |  reply

    All things.
    I think of you so often.

    (You know I love your guts, because I just scrolled through 48 comments to try and leave that little comment on my phone!)

  50. Sherah
    posted on Jan 11, 2015 at 9:45 AM  |  reply

    So, so right on!!! I remember feeling exactly like you were feeling before you saw that segment. It seemed like the right person at the right time would never turn up. I lost hope so many times. But you know, the right person at the right time did show up. He is nothing like the man I thought I would marry other than curly black hair, but he is OH SO RIGHT for me!!! I was just pondering this thing the other day from the other side, the side 10 years after our wedding… in hindsight, if I had married one of those guys I was so upset about my life would be so vastly different than it is today. I wouldn’t be going in the direction I am going in today. Life would be different and I see God’s hand in so many ways on this relationship, on my life and on the direction we are going in. Bless you and blessings on you in your journey!!! I’m excited for you!

  51. posted on Jan 12, 2015 at 11:55 AM  |  reply

    […] afternoon God reminded me of his sovereignty. I read Annie Downs’ post about Nicole Kidman and Jimmy Fallon (if you haven’t read it yet…stop what you’re […]

  52. posted on Jan 12, 2015 at 3:27 PM  |  reply

    I also thought – geez you think these guys have this glamorous life and they are just searching and wanting to be loved as much as the next person. Hopefully they too have found the lover of their soul.

  53. posted on Jan 12, 2015 at 5:05 PM  |  reply

    i was engaged to the wrong guy once.
    when we broke the engagement, we both agreed that we would have picked each other a few times over….but it just wasn’t right and we both knew that too.

    eventually, we both met and married our forevers, and life is beautiful for both of us.

    i say often, and i bet he does too, that i am thankful that God didn’t give me what i thought i wanted. i’m thankful he rescued both of us.

    he has a plan and it’s good. he really does see us. he knows us.
    he sees you and knows you. i’m so grateful you know that deeply.

    • posted on Jan 13, 2015 at 10:09 AM  |  reply

      Tara, thanks for sharing this. It brings such hope to me. Because there is a guy that I loved with all my heart and thought I would spend this life with, and now he’s engaged, maybe even married now, to someone else and it’s been such a hard emotional place for me. In some ways I can see how maybe God didn’t pick him for me, yet, I still love him so much that I can’t imagine why not. It’s such a wonderful thought to hear this from the other side – to dream that maybe there’s someone else that will care that much for me. Thank you. Xo, S

  54. Dale
    posted on Jan 13, 2015 at 11:08 AM  |  reply

    Having just had a relationship that I was sure was right end, this was a great post to read. Only God knows his plan for me, and I guess that relationship wasn’t it, so I need to stop stewing about “what I did wrong.”

  55. Melissa
    posted on Jan 16, 2015 at 7:34 AM  |  reply

    Last night I had an older, wiser friend tell me he rushed into his first marriage because he felt like it was the solution at the time. He thought she was the one because all of his friends had found the one. Lately, I’ve been feeling ready to rush into marriage and I’ve been actively searching for a guy. Why not? All my friends have. Then this morning I stumble across this post from Pinterest and I am 100% sure God is trying to tell me something. He knows I’m in a hurry. I know he wants me to be patient. Thank you for writing this.

  56. posted on Jan 29, 2015 at 7:01 AM  |  reply

    […] He is gentle with us. He sees us (as a friend’s blog reminded me recently). He loves us. He cares for us. At least, these are the things I tell other people. These are […]

  57. posted on Jan 30, 2015 at 10:25 PM  |  reply

    This was GREAT! The clip and your words! I was single a lot longer than I ever thought I would be and I identify so much with what you’ve said!! Yes, I get it!! And yes, I will echo what several other women commenting here have said, God brought me an amazing for me, really complimenting to who He made me to be man. Please take heart my single friends! It is hard, yes, really hard but God knows as you said Annie and He has NOT forgotten a single one of you! Kelly

  58. posted on Mar 25, 2015 at 2:47 AM  |  reply

    Thanks for sharing this and open your hearth! I´ve just read this entry and feel so blessed . I´ve just walk away from a man. He was a very good friend of mine, we had a incredible relationship, but my feelings went to other direction, and he was no interested in me at all! It was so painful when he told me “I´m not feel the same ” So I decided to walk away from him, and to stop his calls and messages for now, because for me the relationship was no healthy for my emotions. I felt so bad and such a terrible friend! But I know ….God knew, and He knows this time apart ..is better for me and for him. So I keep this too :They missed the wrong; but in time, they got the right. So “I needed to be reminded that God’s sovereign hand is tightly gripped around my little life” too. Thank you. God bless you.

  59. Rose
    posted on Jan 22, 2016 at 1:18 PM  |  reply

    This is absolutely profound. I, as well as many others, I’m sure, needed to hear this. Thank you for listening to God and writing this.

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