What happens when you lose.

on June 7, 2016 in Looking For Lovely, Nash-livin' with 9 comments by

What happens when you lose.
For starters, I have one billion pictures I want to post from the KLOVE Awards on Sunday night. I did a few on instagram – my red carpet look, with former UGA football coach and a true hero of mine, Coach Mark Richt, and with my sweet parents who came to Nashville for about 12 hours just to attend the show with me. But more pictures to come, don’t you worry about that.

It was a great experience. Seriously, SO GREAT. I got to meet some amazing artists like Jon Foreman that I LOVE. (That I KLOVE? Ouch. Puns forever.) I got to see tons of bands play that I would pay to see, and I ran into tons of friends from my Girls of Grace days and Nashville friends that I never see because we all travel so much. It was super super fun.

Here is a video from my snapchat of the day- getting ready that morning all the way until I got home from the awards that night.

. . . . .

Before I tell you how it felt to not win, let me tell you how it felt to be nominated: unbelievable.

Looking For Lovely is such a tiny new baby, just months old. The idea that this book is making an impact in enough lives that it would be noticed by KLOVE absolutely made me smile from ear to ear. I really hoped we would win- it doesn’t change my bank account or my twitter following to have a trophy from KLOVE, but it does get the book in front of a lot of eyes that don’t know me, and that’s important to me. And I love that book. So I love sharing it.

But it didn’t win.

Here’s the thing: Looking For Lovely losing the KLOVE Fan Award wasn’t anywhere near the worst feeling I’ve ever experienced, I didn’t cry or anything. But it’s just a strange feeling. A sad, strange feeling.

I have so so so much newfound respect for the movie stars who have to sit there, with a camera staring them down and an excited smile on their face for the winner, when maybe their heart, like my heart, fell to the floor when another name was called.

I felt sad because losing is terrible, no matter how you slice it.

I felt embarrassed because so many of you, my friends, voted for me and I didn’t want to have to tell you we lost.

I felt disappointed because I got my hopes up that we might win.

It doesn’t change the honor of nomination, it doesn’t change how much I loved the night. It just sucks to lose.

On my flight yesterday, I was reading Proverbs and a verse jumped out at me:

“Even in laughter the heart may ache.” — Proverbs 14:13 (NIV)

Right? Do you ever feel that? So while my heart may ache because Looking For Lovely lost, there was a lot of laughter, too. They can both exist in the same moment. I’m not scared of the mystery of that. I’m really okay with it.

And also? I was in a room absolutely full of losers.

Of the ten-ish awards, there were something like fifty to sixty nominees, and less than ten winners.

SO. MANY. LOSERS.

Hillsong United. Kari Jobe. Rebekah Lyons. Natalie Grant. Coach Richt. MercyMe. Jen Hatmaker. Chris Tomlin.

If that’s who you hang with in the “loser” category, I WILL TAKE IT.

So what happens when you lose a KLOVE Fan Award?

You feel your feelings, but you join a very cool club of people. And you have great memories from a night you’ll never forget.

Thank you, KLOVE. And thank you to all my friends who voted. We’ll get ’em next time.

. . . . .

9 comments

  1. posted on Jun 07, 2016 at 7:07 AM  |  reply

    Thank you for this! I LOVE Looking for Lovely so much. It’s helped me so much…just like this blog post. I’m in the running for a job I really, really, really want. I worry that I won’t be chosen. That’s what losing feels like to me, not being picked…but if it means joining the club with you and the others listed above?!?! I’m ok with that. Thank you for your positive spirit and your authentic writing. I LOVE it all! (You looked so beautiful and joy-full on the awards night too!)

  2. posted on Jun 07, 2016 at 8:27 AM  |  reply

    Perspective. I love your perspective, Annie.

  3. posted on Jun 07, 2016 at 8:39 AM  |  reply

    Love your perspective on this. Being in a crowd with those losers? That’s a pretty awesome club. Congrats on the nomination – Looking for Lovely is an incredible book and it’s going to continue to draw women closer to their Father, winner or not. Keep it up Annie!!

  4. Jen
    posted on Jun 07, 2016 at 9:04 AM  |  reply

    Well these words are good for all of us!!! Although I did not loose at the KLOVE fan awards… ? I did lose a battle with fear this week. But you know what? God is still God, life is still moving, and the win is really in the hearts of your readers-so carry on with your bad self Annie!

  5. kelly
    posted on Jun 07, 2016 at 9:49 AM  |  reply

    thank you for this AWESOME perspective. I love your books and your outlook on life.. THANK YOU for being you Annie.

  6. posted on Jun 07, 2016 at 10:15 AM  |  reply

    You know you’re still a winner to so many of us 🙂

  7. posted on Jun 07, 2016 at 5:30 PM  |  reply

    Thank you so much for this and for being real – I loved Looking for Lovely (and Let’s All Be Brave!) I’d give them all the awards! But I kinda love that you’re a loser too – because it makes this fellow loser feel a little more okay with herself!! Much love!!!

  8. Tami
    posted on Jun 08, 2016 at 12:42 PM  |  reply

    Hey Awesome Annie! Does anyone every call you that? I just want you to know what i often tell my kiddos. That sometimes more is gained in a loss than a win. Your book is beyond precious! !!! I picked it up at the Phoenix BB! 2 of my four daughters, one 23 and the other 20 are both being blessed by you! God Bless sweet lady! Keep writing!!! 🙂

  9. posted on Jul 08, 2016 at 3:40 PM  |  reply

    I just had to share this with you! I have not read Looking for Lovely just yet but purchased for my 25 year old daughter in April. She’s had couple of rough years and I knew she was struggling. She’s the most beautiful person but she was no longer out looking for lovely. Well…I do believe your book may be a game changer. She wrote a guest post for my blog this week which originally was suppose to be about bullet journaling but turned into a great book review. Thank you for writing and sharing such beautiful words. Would love for you to read how much you have inspired her. http://www.thequeeninbetween.com/2016/07/bullet-journal-feels.html

    You will know for sure Looking for Lovely is winning!

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