I was laying in my bed yesterday, windows open, hair still wet from a shower (after I worked in the yard and cleaned out my car, thank you very much), listening to Phil Wickham.
As I listened to a song called “Yours Alone”, I started thinking through the last six months or so and what the Lord and I have walked through together. (You know my temptation right now it to put the lyrics on here, but I’m not giving in……yet.)
And the moment was like this- God started revealing glimpses of situations where He has shown His profound favor towards me. I was so covered in sorrow and hurt at the time He was doing it, that I can honestly say had He shown me that in the fall/winter, I wouldn’t have been NEARLY as amazed as I was yesterday.
For example, when we had the alarm system put in, the guy put it in the kitchen by the garage. It was a dumb location at the time because no one parks in the garage, so we had to set the alarm, hustle through the kitchen, dining room, and living room, and make it out the front door in 60 seconds. Now, if you’ve been to my small house, you know that’s not a problem. But compared to putting it by the front door (which made more sense to me), it was a lot more difficult.
Let me high speed you up to date- my roommates move out today and a friend of mine GAVE me a garage door opener and is installing it for me. So soon, I will be entering and leaving through the garage. Which would stink if the alarm key pad was by the front door instead of the garage door.
Do you see Him in that? Isn’t it wild? Such a little detail, but such a “Here I am” for me from Him. And that is just one example of what was brought back to my memory yesterday. It was beautiful and so sweet of the Lord. Because I’m about to enter a season of living alone and handling those finances alone (as well as other new situations), it was a deep heart reminder that He is full of LOVE for me and that He is going to take care of me. My life looks like it does today because of Him, so I trust that He is going to be in control of the details. I just get to live it without worry.
He pruned me, like the vine in John 15, that’s for sure. To be real honest, it was the most severe pruning of my life. Everything, literally, was cut back, until nothing remained except this. Which ended up, as you know, being VERY good for me. Why should I be surprised about that? And as I sat there yesterday, walking down the path of His favor, this idea came to mind-
“The pruning is done. Now it is time to bloom.”
And I believe it. I can feel it on the inside. I can see little buds of hope and future on the outside. No, I don’t know what this season is going to look like, I have no idea the fruit that is going to come from this, but I KNOW that He’s doing it. And it was all worth it. IT WAS ALL WORTH IT. I promise. Because of how I know Him now. Because of the depth of His LOVE that I could not have known outside the walls of the pain. If not a one thing comes from this pruning, if the blessing/blooming is more of Him, IT WAS ALL WORTH IT.
A sweet friend of mine that I teach with stopped me in the hall the other day and said, “Annie, you just look like you are glowing recently.” I wanted to laugh because I know it is the peace and LOVE of Him in me. It’s the blooming. All the junk, all my “hard work” and worry and toiling were covering the peace of Him in my heart AND in my face. IT WAS ALL WORTH IT.
Here’s why I’m telling you all of this- because I want my life to be a love song to Him (thank you, Jason Morant, for such a brilliant lyric). So my true hope is that while you read this little blog, what you really hear is me singing my LOVE to Him at the top of my lungs. And I hope you see Him, how good He is, how REAL He is, and how much He LOVES. You.