Homeopathic hilarity.

So I go to a homeopathic doctor.  Don’t judge me.  Cause I totally love it and you would too.  I’ve been going for about a year and since I started, my migraines have decreased by 95% and I no longer drink caffeine. AND I’M STILL A NICE PERSON.  Which is saying a lot.  And the people who work there are AWESOME.

I go see Doc about once a month for a little disease we like to call Nun-Ya-Biz-Itis.

I was talking with Sarah today and telling her about my appointment and she said, “Why do you never blog about that?” because today was mildly bizarro and totally blog-worthy.

First of all, when I sat down, Doc made me put my hand on this cut out of a hand that is made of metal.  I can’t find a picture online, but it looks like a big computer mouse with metal bars to put your fingers on.  So, my hand is there and Doc hits a button on the computer, and after about four minutes, all sorts of dots come up on the computer screen.

Doc “hmm….”s and “huhhh…”s and then says, “Annie, is the router for your wireless network in your bedroom?”

I was shocked.  My eyes bugged out cause I don’t know about you, but I think that is FREAK-EE that he can know that.  And it sorta made me feel like I was in trouble.

And I slowly said, “yyyeeeaahh…”

Doc said, “well, you should probably turn it off at night.”

I nodded in agreement.  Mainly because I was speechless.  And I hate to get in trouble.  [First child syndrome to the max.]

Another click on the computer, another thoughtful moment, and Doc says, “Annie, do you feel cold a lot?”

Now, NO ONE knows this, but I FREEZE at night.  In fact, I sleep in fleece socks, fleece pants, short sleeve tshirt, long sleeve tshirt, and a fleece pullover.  I cover up with a sheet, down comforter, blue blanket, and heavy blanket from Mexico.  And I usually pull the blankets up over my head because, and this is an interesting fact, my nose can not handle the cold.

[My mother says that is too personal to tell you, but I have no problem with you knowing that I have a blanket from Mexico.]

So at this point, I’m staring at him like he’s about to tell me the name of my husband [please] and the amount of money in my bank account [no thank you].  And I answer, “Yes, actually. Nashville is kinda cold and my bedroom is particularly cold.”

“Well, you need to warm it up.”

“Yes sir,” I replied, lifting my jaw off the floor.

“And I think that some light therapy might help.” And with that he tells me to follow him and hands me a pair of turquoise-lensed glasses.

So I don’t know what you were doing from 9-9:30am EST, but I was sitting in a room, door closed with overhead lights off, rocking a cool pair of glasses, while a three foot long bright blue strobe light blinked in my face.

I may have had a few seizures, but it was totally worth it.

Because THAT is a great story.  And I live for that junk.

*Update- 1000 words done yesterday.  Yay!  29,000 to go!!*

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