What you should tell your teen (and yourself) about Kim Kardashian

on November 14, 2014 in Culture Matters, Gal Stuff with 87 comments by

kimgirl

If you haven’t seen, new nude magazine cover photos were released of Kim Kardashian this week. (It’s not the first time, but it surely seems to be the most viral release.) It has been hard, nearly impossible, to avoid seeing her full backside displayed, and as of yesterday, her full frontside as well. And while I hope you can get around the internet without passing by these, most won’t be able to. If you can avoid seeing it, do. If you can protect your children from seeing the photos, do.

If you can’t, like I couldn’t, I have a few things to remind you- as a grown woman- and to remind you as you mentor the next generation of women. Please say these things to yourself and to the younger women in your life.

. . . . .

1. We are worth more than this. While the human body is beautiful, this particular display does not add to or celebrate the value and strength of her as a woman. These photographs are not a great reflection of the worth of a woman.

2. Every body is different. We are each uniquely made, uniquely shaped, and uniquely celebrated by God. Therefore…

3. There is not one body that is THE female standard. She is not what we are all supposed to look like. This woman is not our standard. The world will try to convince you, with just a few simple photographs, that we should all look like that. We shouldn’t. I should look like the best version of me, you should look like the best version of you, and we should not feel pressure to conform our bodies into any one shape.

4. You are beautiful the way God made you. I needed that reminder after I saw the pictures, maybe you do too.

5. What the internet says about your body does NOT determine your worth. Positive or negative. What Kim is displaying for every teen girl is, “look! show it all and everyone will LOVE you!” No. No they won’t. They will not respect you, they will not honor you, they will not love you. They will look at you, and they will use you, but it will be short lived and way less awesome than you are imagining.

Also, while we’re here. Likes on your instagram post don’t decide if you’re awesome or not. RTs of your tweets aren’t the what make you valuable. The comments on your posts don’t judge your worth. To quote my friend Cassie, “your online presence is not who you are. It is not your heart. It isn’t your soul. And it is certainly not your value.”

6. Cultivate who you are on the inside. Please. It matters far more the woman you are versus the way you look. Read good books. Deepen your friendships. Learn how to cook. Pray. Jog if you like it. Dance if you want to. Finish school. Become the woman you want to be on the inside, and your inner beauty will radiate out in major ways.

7. Don’t be naked on the internet. Ever.

. . . . .

I’ll leave it at that. Speak to the heart of the young women in your life- remind them of their worth. Speak to your own heart if necessary, and say the kind things. God made you on purpose. This isn’t our standard. This isn’t beauty. These photos need to be a good internal check for all of us to remember what we value, what we honor, and who we are letting determine our truth.

(And yes. You need to talk with young men about these photographs as well. That blog post is coming…)

 


 

87 comments

  1. posted on Nov 14, 2014 at 6:52 AM  |  reply

    Annie, I went to bed last night telling my husband about an interaction I had yesterday with my 6 year old about Kim. Thank God not about these photos but still. She saw something or heard something and asked about her. Then I woke up this morning with this in my feed. Not a coincidence I know. Thank you for bravely addressing this topic for young girls and moms and even younger girls who we need to guard NOW against the lies and the confusion. Although I’m not in the trenches of that season yet (or maybe I’m closer than I think) your words and your heart always empower me to do what I can do now to prepare my daighter’s heart for the future. Thank you friend.

  2. posted on Nov 14, 2014 at 7:54 AM  |  reply

    Annie,
    I used to shake my head and sigh when this family caught my eye with their tv show and shenanigans. Then the weddings and divorces, I couldn’t miss as I stood in the checkout with my toilet paper and dinner fixings. Then the butt… at that point it really hit me how terribly sad this was.
    If there was ever a poster family for therapy, they are it. Yet, we don’t have to look far to see it around us, just in smaller versions.
    It is a reminder to us, to simply be faithful and like you say… Be brave. Do the the truthful thing. Be the friend. Share the kind word. Bless the lonely and lost. Raise up girls and boys to be honorable and free. This family is a lost and lonely bunch when the sun sets each day. They live in bondage to the god of gluttony, lies and popularity. And people love them.
    So terribly sad. So we must step up, speak louder, in truth, love and gentleness and mostly… In freedom. To be who God created us to be. Whole and wholly free.
    Thanks Annie.

    • Susie G.
      posted on Nov 14, 2014 at 10:29 PM  |  reply

      Love your reply and I completely agree.

    • Lynne
      posted on Nov 16, 2014 at 10:02 AM  |  reply

      well said

    • posted on Nov 17, 2014 at 12:52 PM  |  reply

      And wouldn’t it be nice to pray for the Kardashians too. Even this family is not beyond God’s grace. What a great story of salvation and transformation that could be!

  3. Michele Gibson
    posted on Nov 14, 2014 at 8:10 AM  |  reply

    Well said. Bravo! I hope Kim sees your article. She needs to know these things too.

  4. Sharon
    posted on Nov 14, 2014 at 8:10 AM  |  reply

    I am pregnant with a little girl, and I already feel totally helpless when I think about the kind of world she will grow up in. How do I even begin to shield her from a society whose business it is to prey on the minds of little girls? How do I teach her that she is worth more than this, when THIS is what gets glorified and lifted up?

    I believe in everything that you wrote, but I already feel like the task is too great and it’s more than I can handle!

    • Megan
      posted on Nov 14, 2014 at 9:59 AM  |  reply

      Sharon, I am MORE than with you on this! I just had my first baby, a girl, in March and I can’t help but feel the same way – and often. I can’t go anywhere without the magazines in my face, the billboards and advertisements, that song that wont get out of my head, the hott-off-the-press mascara add that makes me second think the tube I bought the day before… but then I look at my daughter. I look at her innocence and her sweet smile and the fact that she’s not looking anywhere but at ME. We are the very first ones to shape our children’s minds; and as much as the government would like you to think that they are in control – that they shape future lives – ultimately WE are the first influence on our babies.

      My mom always used to say “if you love yourself, others will too” and I think that’s one of the keys to success with raising kids in todays world… if YOU praise your body, if you accept what you don’t love for the sake of your daughter(s) (and heck, for the sake of yourself because you deserve to love YOU!) then she will grow up and not be dismayed by the ads and the photoshopped girls around every corner, because her first memories of what this “beauty thing” is will be you. One of the beautiful and terrifying things about raising daughters is that at the end of the day, even when you feel like nothing you do or say makes any difference in their world, you are the very first voice in their head; you and ONLY you have the ability to begin their journey through this world with realistic expectations, and ultimately, truth.

      Good luck to you, and God’s voice be with you on this new journey of motherhood. It is the most rewarding and amazing experience you will have… and you will mess up, sure. But you have everything you need 🙂

    • Anna
      posted on Nov 14, 2014 at 2:41 PM  |  reply

      I have two little girls. I can relate. It says in Proverbs we are to train the child in the way they should go so when they get older, they will not turn from them. ☺️ with the help of the Holy Spirit, you will be planting and sowing seeds of Christ into your kids. In due time you will reap a harvest. But you have to sow and keep teaching, loving your girl. My pastor said, ” Make the supernatural natural.” I could go on but I will keep it simple. Many blessings.

    • DK
      posted on Nov 17, 2014 at 9:59 PM  |  reply

      I just had my first baby in January.
      She is about to be 10 months old.

      I felt just as you do.
      how do I raise her to know how valuable she is?
      how do I make sure she is a brave, smart, confidant woman?

      I still fear for her going into such a society.

      however we can be their advocates until they can be their own.
      fight for yourself (gender equality!) and fight for her. show her how. be her role model.

      we can do this.

    • Amanda
      posted on Nov 21, 2014 at 11:53 AM  |  reply

      I completely know how you feel. I was so afraid and I even cried when I found out I was having a girl. For her to go through the things I went through broke my heart for another woman who wasn’t even born yet.

      I want to tell you that the task is not too great. My daughter is 2.5 now and she is incredibly loving and caring (but she can also be a firecracker too haha) and so I’m choosing to nurture that, to show her how to love the right way, to show her that a REAL princess is a servant to others and we are to put others needs and concerns ahead of our own selfish desires. Teach them early on how to combat bullies (kill them with kindness and even befriend them) and people who would say mean spirited things to them, and most of all teach them (Sorry I have 2 kiddos) that everyone is worth loving and that school is such a short time in their lives, and that it really doesn’t begin until they are out of school and that they need to make good choices.

      But most of all…Pray. Pray for their hearts, their attitudes and their choices.

      You can do it, it is not too great for you can do ANYTHING through Christ who gives you strength.

  5. posted on Nov 14, 2014 at 8:19 AM  |  reply

    Thank you for this, great reminders for us all!

  6. posted on Nov 14, 2014 at 8:27 AM  |  reply

    Thank you for this. God bless you. It’s hard not to have a reaction. Let it be the right one.

  7. Katrina Epperson
    posted on Nov 14, 2014 at 8:48 AM  |  reply

    Annie, our children are growing up in such a tainted society. Thank you for addressing this issue. I did see the backside, but not the frontal thank goodness. She has to do anything for attention and I feel very sorry for her. Young girls are so susceptible to body image issues, but in my opinion things like this only makes it worse. Thank you for sharing.

  8. posted on Nov 14, 2014 at 9:01 AM  |  reply

    As a college woman, your words are speaking so much love and truth into my life today. Thank you, Annie!

  9. posted on Nov 14, 2014 at 9:11 AM  |  reply

    Annie,
    I haven’t come across these photos and I pray I don’t. But I still needed these words this morning, a word directed straight at my heart! We do need to remember that our worth isn’t on the surface at all, not at all in these failing bodies that house us here in this foreign place but our worth, our identity is internal and connected to our Heavenly home.
    Thank you for this today!!

  10. Lori
    posted on Nov 14, 2014 at 9:14 AM  |  reply

    Perfect. Just perfect!

  11. Pam
    posted on Nov 14, 2014 at 9:14 AM  |  reply

    Annie, thank you. What a great reminder for us women. I pray for my young granddaughters and what they are going to have to endure. Lord help us.

  12. posted on Nov 14, 2014 at 9:19 AM  |  reply

    sound encouragement. Thank you!!

  13. Diane
    posted on Nov 14, 2014 at 9:37 AM  |  reply

    As a mum of a preschooler, I feel that the work & foundations for body image & self esteem started months ago. For myself, well. That’s a work in progress. In a week where news reports about local teenagers having their relatively innocuous social media photos stolen, then uploaded to porn websites, ( http://www.independent.co.uk/news/uk/crime/photos-of-northern-ireland-schoolgirls-put-on-pornographic-website-used-by-paedophiles-9853049.html ) I would recommend extreme caution with ANY photos they upload. It’s terrifying.

  14. posted on Nov 14, 2014 at 9:51 AM  |  reply

    perfectly spoken. so very true. thank you 🙂

  15. posted on Nov 14, 2014 at 9:58 AM  |  reply

    thank you! Luckily I have been dealing with family and work and completely missed this latest display. But I love how you addressed it with truth. Sent your post to my daughter and nieces. Thank you again

  16. posted on Nov 14, 2014 at 10:29 AM  |  reply

    […] What you should tell your teen (and yourself) about Kim Kardashian. […]

  17. posted on Nov 14, 2014 at 11:20 AM  |  reply

    […] the culture lies to them. Here are two great blog posts that speak some truth: Annie Downs’ What you should tell your teen (and yourself) about Kim Kardashian and LisaJo Baker’s In A Culture of Fast Food Sex Let’s Give Our Kids Healthier […]

  18. Christy
    posted on Nov 14, 2014 at 11:31 AM  |  reply

    I applaud you for your positive discussion topics on women, the body, and the portrayal of the body. Might I remind anyone that needs to have this discussion – whether with themselves, a little girl, a teenager, or a boy – stick to the positive message and stay away from the trash talk or berating of the photo or the woman that is the topic of your discussion because if you do, you will be criticizing one to send a positive message to another and that’s not the message we want sent.

  19. posted on Nov 14, 2014 at 12:10 PM  |  reply

    […] is why I rejoice when I read articles like this one;  a proactive approach to help our kids learn and know something different. Tools and words to […]

  20. Jennifer
    posted on Nov 14, 2014 at 1:22 PM  |  reply

    Bravo! I keep telling my 14yr old that no one wants to buy the cow when they are getting the milk for free. Daughter value is not in what some hormonal boy thinks of her, but in who she really is! And dont ever, ever take pictures!!!!!

  21. Debbie
    posted on Nov 14, 2014 at 1:37 PM  |  reply

    I agree. We should cultivate our minds and remember our worth. Thank you for this awesome blog!

  22. posted on Nov 14, 2014 at 1:39 PM  |  reply

    I love this post. I really hope a man out there writes a post like this as well.

  23. Jon Kurozawa
    posted on Nov 14, 2014 at 2:18 PM  |  reply

    Annie, as a father of 5 kids (3 daughters) THANK YOU for posting this.

    I am repulsed by the continued selling of their bodies by KK and her sisters. This along with the recent “stealing” of nude photos of other female celebrities should be the wakeup call out nation needs to stop the exploitation of women’s bodies, but also certain women’s willingness to take pictures like this.

  24. Michelle
    posted on Nov 14, 2014 at 2:21 PM  |  reply

    I feel like you needed to write/read this article more than anyone. Kim Kardashian has never implied any of the things you stated (she is the ideal female, that what you have inside is worth less). She has always supported women feeling comfortable in their own bodies and embracing their own unique beauty. And while you feel that these photos do not “add to her value and strength as a women,” I most certainly think they do. She is a woman who is comfortable in her own skin and is proud of her body. Shouldn’t that be every female? I feel like this article is stemming from one’s own insecurity. Yes, the shoot may be risqué for many people’s taste, no one is denying that. But the article is not based on that. I saw the pictures and not once did any of the things you wrote cross my mind. And I’m pregnant, due in 10 days. I do not love my pregnant body, but I am not insecure about it. All the topics you raised are important lessons to teach our daughters, but I disagree horribly that you used Kim Kardashians pictures as a platform on which to convey this.

    • Grace
      posted on Nov 14, 2014 at 3:38 PM  |  reply

      I have to say I am completely shocked by your comment, Michelle. Yes, women should be comfortable in their own skin and thankful for the body that God gives them, but we are called to be chaste, modest and in sobriety in actions and outward appearance. Modesty reveals dignity. Flaunting our nakedness tears down any respect and tells the world, “I am not a lady.” I have been sickened at the pictures of KK flooding my FB and news channels, and am so glad to see someone writing a conservative blog post on this. My heart grieves when I think of many men who might see the pictures that NEVER wanted to, because it’s literally in your face. The audacity for her to purposefully expose herself only reveals intense selfishness on her part. She needs our prayers.

    • Gina
      posted on Nov 17, 2014 at 6:31 PM  |  reply

      I completely agree with you, Michelle. The author and most of the commenters are projecting their own insecurities. The constant tsk tsking of other women whenever something like this come out in the media speaks volumes more about the disapproving women than it does about the woman posing.

  25. posted on Nov 14, 2014 at 2:46 PM  |  reply

    This needed to be said and you addressed it so well, Annie.

  26. Kate
    posted on Nov 14, 2014 at 2:51 PM  |  reply

    what is wrong with the pictures? Must we shame her for these pictures? They were not offensive unless you feel her body is offensive. They were shot by an artist photographer and a European one at that. In France they have a more open,free expression with one’s body. I believe she has been living in France. Do we need to teach our daughters that their is shame in this and that people have the right to shame her for her decision? If this was a man, David Beckham for instance who has posed naked, there would be no conversations to be had and there certainly wasn’t any shaming….do we decide there are certain woman worth shaming? Are there certain bodies we should not accept seeing? Tell your daughters that all woman have beauty and worth and that we don’t always have to agree with what all woman do but they can do what they wish with their lives and their bodies. We are not all made to be models, movie stars…we may not all be lawyers, doctors, scientist either….we may be stay at home Moms or working Moms…we may become mothers or not…but we are lovely and beautiful and we should be our own version of a woman and no one should shame you into not expressing yourself the way you want. Love yourself and Love others…also we are not cows to be bought so no worries about thinking that a man should get something from us for free or have to buy it…that is more offensive for my daughters(I have 3 and 1 son) than a naked Kim Kardasian…

  27. posted on Nov 14, 2014 at 3:31 PM  |  reply

    I loved this and so grateful for your words as a mom of a boy who fears what he will have to look at in this world. Very beautifully written post.

  28. posted on Nov 14, 2014 at 4:03 PM  |  reply

    It may prove useful to add that men don’t all see female bodies the same either, though men should not be running that show anyway. I confess to not understanding why anyone cares at all about the Kardashians, and I don’t think they’re all that attractive. I think my wife is pretty hot, though, even if Kardashianites might disagree. But imo they’d be wrong.

  29. Liz
    posted on Nov 14, 2014 at 4:14 PM  |  reply

    I’m not sure that I agree these pictures are as negative as others. Kim herself is NOT a role model or someone who I want my childred (Sons & Daughters), however she does break the female body stereo types most of us in our 40’s grew up with. As a young woman with an ample bottom and many more curves than I wished I had, I would have welcomed anyone admiring female curves. In these pictures, Kim is not the stereotypical “perfect woman”. I don’t like her, don’t understand the attention, don’t ever watch the TV show, and can’t figure out a single reason she’s famous…. but the pictures? ehhh

  30. Kim
    posted on Nov 14, 2014 at 4:47 PM  |  reply

    YES to everything you wrote! One thing that you didn’t mention but has been on my mind is what she’s teaching her own daughter. Is this something she would approve if North was doing it? That’s constantly on my radar because I know my girls are watching me to see how a grown woman/wife/mother should behave. My daughter once asked me what the Kardashians were famous for. I had no answer for her. As my 13 year old would say, “They need Jesus.”

  31. Melanie
    posted on Nov 14, 2014 at 5:23 PM  |  reply

    Very well said Annie! Thank you for putting this out there. We ALL needed to hear this – very encouraging!

  32. Lee Ann
    posted on Nov 14, 2014 at 6:03 PM  |  reply

    Well said. Especially the part about your online presence. Thank you 🙂

  33. JENNIFER LYNCH
    posted on Nov 14, 2014 at 6:27 PM  |  reply

    Thank you so much for sharing this. We are children of God– worth more than what our bodies look like naked. Annie, I love your books. Can you post a sneak peak of what your next book will be about?

    Jennifer

  34. m k
    posted on Nov 14, 2014 at 7:00 PM  |  reply

    All though women don’t have to do these things to feel like they’re worth something; but you don’t have to say Kim is not a true good women for doing this. It’s a photograph by a famous artist. She is just as wonderful of a woman as are you

  35. Melanie
    posted on Nov 14, 2014 at 7:23 PM  |  reply

    Michelle,

    Even though I completely disagree with your opinion, I would at least respect it if she weren’t photoshopped to death and also he recipient of bazillions of dollars worth of plastic surgery. She thought the body she had wasn’t good enough and had surgery to change it. That sma body still wasn’t good enough to be photographed and so the photos were altered. I don’t get how this shows being “comfortable in your own skin and proud of your body”. Just my 2 cents.

  36. posted on Nov 14, 2014 at 8:00 PM  |  reply

    What a dichotomy we have in this country about who women should be. Strong and powerful or sweet and kind, sexy or modest, funny or flippant, sarcastic or smiling. And we wonder why women are less happy now – confusion causes that. Who are we to be to gain what we want most – love.
    Yes we also want to be desired, and desired for who we are, beloved daughters of God.

    I agree Annie we are more than a body. It is our heart and soul that makes us attractive. That is why those of us who have been fortunate enough to be married for a long time, we are still beautiful in our husbands eyes. They know our true nakedness because they have looked into the depths of our souls and want more. Because our soul is who we are and will remain with us forever. The body, well we all know what happens to that!

    I pray that we women of faith, of conviction, of strength and truth will be the shining example that the next generation will look up to and emulate. And yes we need to teach our sons, daughters, and now my granddaughters, to cultivate what is on the inside – their true beauty is in the essence of their souls.

  37. posted on Nov 14, 2014 at 8:08 PM  |  reply

    Love this, so well said. I’ll keep this tucked away for when my sweet daughters are a little older, although I’ve already had to have conversations with my 4-year-old daughter on how she’s beautiful because of how God made her, no matter how her hair looks or what she wears…it’s such a battle in our society even at such a young age. Breaks my heart. We can do our part to raise and nurture women who are confident and beautiful because of their security in Christ.

  38. Erin
    posted on Nov 14, 2014 at 8:59 PM  |  reply

    For a moment I thought, I’m so glad I just have boys. But then I finished reading and realized… boys will see these photos too and the challenge in raising these boys into men will be to see these types of pictures and still walk away respecting women for their inner beauty, intelligence and strength. I will persevere. I will raise gentleman. I will raise them to love God. I will not give up. I will be grateful for the help from blogs like these!

  39. posted on Nov 14, 2014 at 9:33 PM  |  reply

    […] not here to talk about how her actions make other women feel. Many other writers have done a great job of that. Nor am I here to open up a discussion on what is and isn’t appropriate to be shared with the […]

  40. posted on Nov 14, 2014 at 10:08 PM  |  reply

    […] What You Should Tell Your Teen (and yourself) about Kim Kardashian by Annie F Downs […]

  41. Shelby
    posted on Nov 14, 2014 at 11:35 PM  |  reply

    You know, I liked this article up until the point you said that Kim is basically telling teen girls that if they get named people will like them. Who are you to put thoughts, ideals, and words into someone else’s mouth? Kim was once sexually violated when someone she trusted and loved sold a private sex tape that they made together. She has grown past that and used it. Kim is more than her body, but she owns her body and she loves it. And she’s not afraid to show it off because she is proud. We don’t shame athletes for oiling up and flexing their muscles for athletic magazines. So why shame someone for oiling up and showing off a different body part? Because some old white dude hundreds of years ago deemed it “private”?
    Yes, we do need to be telling teens that Kim is not the standard and that everyone is beautiful in their own way. But we must not shame Kim for showing off a body that she is proud of. That’s the opposite of progress.

  42. Eva
    posted on Nov 15, 2014 at 3:18 AM  |  reply

    Enjoyed reading your blog. I am thankful that we are stationed overseas. My kids are at a young and at a very impretionable age right now, so I am glad that advertisements and magazines are rarely seen here. I had begun to pray nightly for my kids (even before they were born) because I know it’s inevitable that they’ll be exposed to things no matter how hard I try to shelter them. I appreciate this, so many good values here to share with my daughter and son. God bless

  43. Elaine
    posted on Nov 15, 2014 at 6:39 AM  |  reply

    thevworld has always had some version of court jesters.

  44. K
    posted on Nov 15, 2014 at 8:52 AM  |  reply

    These are all great points. I think the racial and historical points of the photo should be brought up as well, such as the comparison between Kim and Saartjie Baartman.

  45. posted on Nov 15, 2014 at 9:52 AM  |  reply

    #7 is awesome!

  46. CK
    posted on Nov 15, 2014 at 10:45 AM  |  reply

    Dear Shelby, I’m sorry to inform you but Kim’s mother (who is also her manager) brokered the deal to sell her sex tape. She was not violated, she wanted to be famous. I don’t exactly see that as empowering for women nor do I feel like she “grew” from that experience because that’s exactly what she wanted, but whatevs.

    Annie, I’m so thankful that we are living in a world where your voice shines like a bright light. Thanks for sharing your heart and your thoughtful voice! xo

  47. Danielle
    posted on Nov 15, 2014 at 11:47 AM  |  reply

    I’ve never read anything else by you before when I can across this blog. It is so perfect not just on the reaction to one celebrity but to keep with us daily. I love the message, the content, and the focus on highlighting the positive in each other of us. I have shared this blog with many friends. I now plan on reading your books bc if those hold a message as powerful as this, it will be amazing!

  48. Maria
    posted on Nov 15, 2014 at 2:43 PM  |  reply

    While I completely agree with every aspect of your article, she is still getting exactly what she wants. Every time someone mentions her name, whether it is good or bad review, another lump some of money goes flowing into her account. I wish people would just ignore it. As I say that, I understand how hard it is to ignore such a dehumanizing picture of what a woman is worth. Shame on her, and shame on the magazine that published and altered her every appearance. We are in 2014 and it disgusts me that men and woman still think like this, that woman are just objects- we are not.

    The hashtag was to #breaktheinternet so that the magazine could get more people to buy their magazine off the rack instead of seeing it on the web. I suppose the joke is on them, because in no way did they “break the internet” and now no one has a need to buy their disgusting magazine because Kim K.’s private lady parts are on display every where. Disgusting.

    Woman, daughters, sons and men,
    This photograph only portrays the worth of Kim. She does not speak for every woman. No persons body looks like this. Her waist in comparison to the rest of her body has been photoshopped to no end and all they did was use the “pull” button to make her butt look bigger and rounder. Women don’t look like this after just having a baby, we are proud of our stretch marks, they symbolize the miracle we carried inside of us for nine months. Woman have cellulite, people have cellulite. God made us to be beautiful in his eyes, altering yourself and filtering yourself is not needed. We are worth way more than the shell that holds our spirit and soul.

  49. posted on Nov 15, 2014 at 4:19 PM  |  reply

    I’ve told you a million times, but from a girl mama — THANK YOU.

  50. Kristin
    posted on Nov 15, 2014 at 6:02 PM  |  reply

    I would love to hear your thoughts on how to have this conversation with boys as well. Thanks!

  51. Agnieszka
    posted on Nov 15, 2014 at 10:32 PM  |  reply

    Have you seen the film Missrepresentation? This is a documentary about media impact on the image of a woman today. Worth to see it…

  52. Kay
    posted on Nov 15, 2014 at 11:08 PM  |  reply

    Annie, I applaud you for this article. As a high school educator, I know first-hand how young people are influenced by “celebrity”–real or imagined. One can say that Kim is no role model but, to may young women, she is indeed. I am saddened by the rapid deterioration of our morals and values in this country. As a “baby boomer “, my generation grew up not seeing even married couples sleeping in the same bed on television. We were a far more respectful society then. Now, nothing is left to the imagination on television or in print. Sometimes “freedom” can be a double-edged sword. I am afraid that too much freedom of expression will eventually lead to our demise as a spiritual society. There is nothing wrong with being proud of your body, but the whole world need not see it; especially if you are married, and a parent. Imagine the teasing Kim’s child may be subjected to when she starts school.

    Occasionally, parents and citizens will boycott a business for committing an act that is deemed inappropriate (i.e. certain window or store displays), or contact sponsors of television shows that air inappropriate content. Nothing changes unless citizens take action. The sponsors of Paper and other publications that run pornographic covers should be contacted by concerned citizens. This type of content should be restricted to adult content businesses. And why are spiritual leaders and the Christian Right so silent on things of this nature? Their voices and protests would be better served less on politics and more on societal issues.

  53. Tammy
    posted on Nov 16, 2014 at 1:26 AM  |  reply

    Couldn’t agree more with your blog. Mother’s should talk to their daughters but I’d add sons to this. Only because you don’t

  54. Tammy
    posted on Nov 16, 2014 at 1:27 AM  |  reply

    Want them to think all girls/women look like this. Also, just a opinion. ..you wouldn’t want them to be thinking it’s ok for them to post nude pics of themselves or their girlfriends on the web.

  55. posted on Nov 16, 2014 at 6:31 AM  |  reply

    This is a great article! I was really bothered by the whole stunt because of my middle school age boys. They are definitely monitored as far as their internet use, but this is just the kind of thing that someone their age would hear about and be curious about. The ripple effect of that could be a huge problem! Porn is a huge problem and more and more easily accessed. I have real compassion for Kim and people like her for sure, I recognize the misguided world view and I want to wrap my arms (and a blanket) around her and tell her she is worth so much more than that. What angers me is the Prince of this world who seeks to enslave my boys and men everywhere with sexual perversion, something like this could very easily be an open door for that. I am praying and trying to navigate parenting my girl and boys in this day and time, it’s tough!

  56. posted on Nov 16, 2014 at 7:21 AM  |  reply

    […] What you should tell your teen (and yourself) about Kim Kardashian :: Annie Downs […]

  57. posted on Nov 16, 2014 at 9:00 AM  |  reply

    I loved all of your points, but number 6 I think is definitely the one that holds the most power for me (and of course number 7!). Thanks for writing this!

  58. Anna
    posted on Nov 16, 2014 at 9:06 AM  |  reply

    Annie,

    Thank you for speaking up about these photos, and others like it, and also pouring truth into our souls. To think that Kim Kardash is a “role model” to so many tweens, teens and even adults is just the saddest. Thanks for the encouragement to cultivate our relationship with Jesus to find out our true worth in Him and that when we do that, the beautiful women that He created each and every one of us to be will become even more radiant bc of His Spirit in us.

    Xo

  59. Gordy Rollins
    posted on Nov 16, 2014 at 5:32 PM  |  reply

    I thank God that there are women who are speaking out about the lies told to our young women. Good on you, although it is not only a female problem, I grew up in a culture of strong athletic men, which I wasn’t and it took me 50 years to come to value the way God made me.
    Keep up the good fight
    from a short little fat man
    God Bless
    Gordy

  60. posted on Nov 17, 2014 at 4:53 AM  |  reply

    Amen to that! xx

  61. Jade
    posted on Nov 17, 2014 at 8:00 AM  |  reply

    I think the she has any right as any woman or man to model in any way she feels comfortable, it’s not her that made these pictures so famous around the internet and around Facebook, it’s the media and the people that are making such a huge deal out of a couple of pictures, I understand parents don’t want their children seeing these pictures but of it wasn’t for the public making such a commotion out of it then they would have been avoidable,

  62. posted on Nov 17, 2014 at 9:02 AM  |  reply

    It breaks my heart we even have to have a conversation with our girls about this. You did a GREAT job. So grateful I wasn’t a little girl growing up with the Kardashians.

  63. posted on Nov 17, 2014 at 11:34 AM  |  reply

    […] Because no matter how hard the Internet tries to tell our girls what they’re supposed to look like; how they’re supposed to feel about themselves; how taking all their clothes off for a million strangers is a viral ambition – […]

  64. posted on Nov 17, 2014 at 1:03 PM  |  reply

    […] Read this article, ladies.  Read it to yourself, your friends, your daughters.  Click here now. […]

  65. Jessica
    posted on Nov 18, 2014 at 12:01 AM  |  reply

    I guess I didn’t realize how many women really struggle with this issue. It always seemed to be that everyone else had friends and were good at relationships except me- like it didn’t matter what they looked like on the outside…they all seemed so much more confident than me.. I guess people put up a good front. Speaking from a certain point of view, just because some of us may be smaller than others doesn’t mean we get all the guys or have good relationships. That’s simply not true. I think when women see other attractive women on magazine covers, we need to remind ourselves that ” just because they have a great body, doesn’t mean they have it all.” Because they DONT. Maybe it’s because we don’t like to let other women know about our struggle with how we look that we mislead other women into thinking we don’t struggle with it. I see all these ordinary women with beautiful perfect hair and makeup and I get jealous!:) the comments made after this post was really enlightening.

  66. Jen
    posted on Nov 18, 2014 at 1:13 AM  |  reply

    I disagree with much of this article. If Kim Kardashian wants to show off her naked, beautiful body, who are we to judge? I knew that it was inevitable that my daughter would see these photos, but it wasn’t that I was concerned about. It was that she would hear what much of the world thought of them– because much of the world is wrong. These photos are artistic and classy, and a great celebration of the female body. And the only reason that these photos don’t earn respect is because they are coming from a woman– where they similar photos from a man, they would be criticized much less. I agree with the message that not every woman’s body is going to look like Kim’s– nor should it. But I don’t think there is any reason to shame this woman for these depictions of her body.

  67. Diana
    posted on Nov 18, 2014 at 6:24 AM  |  reply

    I teach future magazine industry members how to use photoshop to correct and adjust photos. And let me tell you something… NOTHING is real. I’m 100% positive Kim’s been slimmed down, airbrushed up, and all over made to look like perfection, but it’s not real. The more that I see these instances of ‘using photoshop for evil’, the more I want to add an ethics component to my courses.

  68. posted on Nov 18, 2014 at 12:31 PM  |  reply

    OMIGOODNESS!!!! YES! YES! and a thousand more times…. YES!!!!!!
    As a mother of 6 daughters (5 of which ARE teenagers) and 1 boy… I thank you for this!
    So much wrong in this world. Glad to see some GOOD.

  69. Julianna
    posted on Nov 18, 2014 at 2:08 PM  |  reply

    Thank you for taking the time to write this post. Your words spoke to my heart.

  70. Idono
    posted on Nov 19, 2014 at 3:26 AM  |  reply

    What about our boys? how do we shield them. What do we tell them? please help! I have a younger brother who’s fresh out of high school and too cute for his own good. Our boys are in grave danger!

  71. Dave
    posted on Nov 19, 2014 at 6:41 PM  |  reply

    Great post!

    I’m not sure I completely agree with the references to a person’s “worth” (e.g., “worth more than that;” “determine your worth”). This is not to suggest one’s looks or internet likes do reflect someone’s worth; I agree wholeheartedly that they don’t.

    Instead, I feel people really shouldn’t be considered to have more or less “worth” or value based on some set of criteria. Everyone has the same equally high unconditional worth and thus deserves equally respectful, fair treatment (which includes receiving equally negative consequences for equally bad behavior).

    Of course, people can differ from each other in innumerable ways; however, those differences don’t raise or lower their worth.

    When one recognizes the unconditional high value of others, there can be no question of self-worth.

    My bottom line is this: nobody is worth any more than anyone else, and no one is worthless–even Kardashians;) That said, the value of behavior is a different matter….

  72. posted on Nov 20, 2014 at 11:15 AM  |  reply

    […] they mention having heard about bare frontal photos arrogantly flaunting themselves around with the announcement that they can brea… – (sorry, but don’t ever underestimate every parent out there who is fixed on fixing […]

  73. Quincy Ferguson
    posted on Nov 21, 2014 at 1:11 PM  |  reply

    I typically do not get involved with these types of discussions. However, I have a couple of questions for everyone here. Let me preface this whole comment by stating that I AM NOT CONDONING, NOR CONDEMNING KIM KARDASHIAN. I am not getting on here to say that I agree, nor disagree with her. My question revolves around the broad question of “who cares?” Over the past few weeks, I have essentially watched the world (figuratively) fall apart over three pictures of Kim Kardashian. Two groups have formed during this falling apart: (1) the individuals that believe what she did was art, and therefore nothing different than what millions of models and subjects of photography/artwork do everyday; and (2) the individuals that believe what she did was objectively wrong, in and of itself. The first group centers their argument around the idea that there is a difference between art and pornograpy, and even if it is to be deemed “sexual,” does the fact that Kim is a mother automatically remove her ability to be sexual/sexually attractive? This group takes a completely subjective standpoint. Yes, there is a big difference between art and pornography, and no, there is nothing that says a mother cannot be “sexy,” however, the front page of a public magazine may not be the best place to display that type of appeal. The second group centers their entire argument around the idea of modesty (which is perfectly fine! que the cliche statement, “modest is hottest”) and that Kim is directly manipulating the minds/eyes of….everyone, especially young girls. This is where my confusion truly begins. This group believes that what Kim did was 100% pornography. This is humorous to me, because in 1964, Justice Potter Stewart of the United States Supreme Court, said that pornography was hard to define, but “I know it when I see it.” (Jacobellis v. Ohio). What Justice Potter meant was that we cannot simply attach a harmful title to something just because we do not like what that “something” displays. To call Kim Kardashian’s three photographs pornography is incredibly immature and ignorant. Adding to that, I can visit any art show or art gallery and see the exact types of pictures taken/drawn. Whats the difference? The obvious and quick answer is that there is no difference. Also, why aren’t we writing articles about the millions of models who take millions of pictures (both like these and worse than these) on a daily basis? Why are we only obsessed with an individual who took 3 pictures? Is it the fact that she has a child? That cannot be the answer, because Miranda Kerr (I believe I spelled her name correctly), mother of 1, had a “spicy” photoshoot with GQ recently, but no one is discussing her. In fact, there are millions of models who have children, yet no one is discussing them. So, why Kim? Why this photoshoot? Why these three pictures? Lastly, to make the argument that Kim is manipulating the minds of young girls everywhere is a very ridiculous argument. The reason I say this is because, those who make that argument make it based on the fact that they believe Kim’s photoshoot makes girls look like nothing but “meat” to other guys. Prior to Kim’s photoshoot, the idea of lust and only wanting a girl for “one thing” never existed. How dare you Kim?! Obviously I am joking, but on a serious note, the group that makes this argument completely defies the first principle of reason: the principle of non-contradiction. See, we make this argument about Kim, and how her photoshoot completely ruins the reputation of women as a whole, and makes guys treat girls like meat, but around July 14, 2014, every single person making that argument circled around a television and watched 53 female contestants be judged and awarded based completely on their looks. that would be bad enough if Miss America was the only pageant that occurred, but pageants are something that we force our children to participate in at an early age. So, is Kim taking three nude photographs ruining everything women have worked towards anymore than that Miss Alabama parading around in a bikini, evening wear, and bedazzled (I know they are not bedazzled, but it’s a fun word) dress shouting “world peace,” trying to win a contest based solely on her looks? I think not. Once again, my opinion is essentially irrelevant. I did not get on here to express my opinion; I got on here to ask a couple of questions. (1) Are we really upset about the photographs, or are we just so sick of the Kardashians that we are looking for anyway to ridicule them? (2) If we are truly upset about the photographs, why are we stopping with Kim? Next stop Playboy, and then Sports Illustrated Swimsuit edition!! We have ALOT of work to do, so I won’t expect a response from the individuals that answered “yes” to number 2. (3) Are we really upset about this, or are we actually so jealous of the Kardashians that it just makes us sick? Irregardless of what you answer to any of these (giving myself enough credit to assume that anyone is going to actually read this whole thing), the most important question you can ask yourself is, “What about these three pictures, is making me put my life on hold and become so obsessed with this?” I have a six year old son and a four year old daughter (before anyone jumps at me with the argument surrounding parenting), and I am finishing law school at this moment (before anyone jumps at me with the “if you are so good, why aren’t you working at 1:00 on a Friday??”). Every decision I make in this life is for THEM; I want them to have the best life possible, so I understand parenting, and the decisions you must make while parenting. I also completely understand the dangers of lust. Sadly, we live in an era where pornography exists and is easily available for anyone that wants to see it. If you are scared that your little 10 year old is going to see Kim’s photos, there is something seriously wrong, because a 10 year old should not have the means of seeing those photos! Take the ipads/iphones/ipods/icomeupwithanothernameforagadget away from these kids, and send their butts outside to play! No matter if you are a member of the group that thinks what she did is perfectly fine, or if you are a member of the group that thinks she is hell-bound, move on with your life! Who are we to judge? If you will always teach your kids the way they should respect, and ultimately be respected, this issue will end. I am sorry that I took up so much of your page. Honestly, majority of what I said probably did not pertain to much specifically stated on here, but I felt like it was something that needed to be said. I am not trying to trigger an argument by any means, I just personally feel as if we are all obsessing over something, and we need to “let God” and let go! I hope everyone has a wonderful weekend and Thanksgiving holiday!

    • Rheanna
      posted on Nov 22, 2014 at 6:57 PM  |  reply

      Well said!

    • Susan Herring
      posted on Jan 24, 2015 at 1:34 AM  |  reply

      Very well said!!

  74. Susan Herring
    posted on Jan 24, 2015 at 1:40 AM  |  reply

    Very well said!!

  75. posted on Apr 21, 2015 at 9:27 AM  |  reply

    […] November I saw two posts that caught my eye, “What you should tell your teen (and yourself) about Kim Kardashian” and “Things I plan to tell my teenage boys about the nude pictures of Kim Kardashian”. While I […]

  76. posted on Apr 14, 2016 at 11:32 PM  |  reply

    […] that if we don’t understand our value we will settle for so much less than we deserve. Thank you Annie F Downs  and Lisa-Jo Baker for being warriors of worth and self-value. Thank you for speaking to me as a […]

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