Happy anniversary. One year. What am I supposed to get you for a one year anniversary? Paper? Silver? How about just a blog post? Sounds good to me.
Today I went back and watched the first video I made here and I cried all over again. It still feels. Know what I mean? There’s a deep place in me that will never forget THAT feeling. At the end when I said, “I hope I survive this”, in that moment, I wasn’t sure I would. I was so scared of you, Nash. And I missed Marietta all the time. In fact, here’s what I wrote two days later:
“I’m heartbroken and I miss my life at home so badly it physically hurts. But somehow, God will be enough for me. I don’t know what that will look like or feel like. I have no idea how. I truly don’t. But His promises are sure, even when my heart is so sad and my keyboard soaked.”
I’m sorry, Nashville. I didn’t trust. I didn’t trust that you were the best thing for me. But let’s be honest. We had just met. That’s a lot to ask of a girl who completely lacks bravery and courage. And Marietta had loved me well for 28 years. That’s a serious commitment.
Yet somehow, in one year, Nash, you have stolen my heart. For realz. Your skyline. Your people. Your coffee shops. I’m a better me now that I’m with you. You hear that? The city that used to be the source of my insecurities is now the home of my confidence. The place that used to hurt to arrive in now hurts to leave. You, Nashville, are my Ebenezer stone– my point of faith I can come back to as a reminder of God’s help in my life.
Thank you, Nashville. The people that live here have changed me forever. The skyline that comes in to my view with I’m only 10 minutes from home brings a smile to my face. I’ve become a legit writer here, Nash. You’ve been a part of my dreams coming true. And I’ll never forget it.
Nashville, I have no clue what our future holds, if we are short-term or long-term. I just know that you were right for me for now. I’m so happy here.
But one quick thing, Nashville. Sorry to tell you this- it’s not about you. Actually, this hasn’t been about me either. This has, and will always be, a story God is telling about Himself. How He loves. How He leads. How He pursues. How He provides. How His dreams for me are far greater than any I can conjure up myself. He is faithful and trustworthy and good. All the time.
Trust me, Nash. I wish it was about me, too. But I guess, if I was really honest, I’m glad we’re just playing the supporting roles. Because when this show is over, there is only One who deserves the standing ovation. And it ain’t us.
Happy ANNIE-versary, Nashville. I can’t thank you enough for being in this story with me.