I took a break from writing yesterday to grab some lunch.
I try, usually, to eat lunch at home, but due to some circumstances that I couldn’t control, working ten or so hours has become the order of the day for the next few days.
So I went up to the counter, ordered a curry chicken salad on toasted multi-grain bread. With a side of fruit.
I headed back to my seat, absolutely mentally exhausted, and stuck my headphones in. I kinda started staring off into the distance, at a beautiful piece of abstract art across the room from me, letting my poor brain rest. Being so out of it, I was mildly stunned when the worker bee brought my sandwich.
“Whoops, sorry. Thanks dude,” I said, now back in reality, to the same shaggy-haired blonde guy who works here everyday.
I started to eat and oh my gracious it was delicious. That kind of delicious that makes you inspect the sandwich, wondering if something special is in it or if there is some visible sign to indicate the added awesome.
My iTunes was on shuffle. One less thing I wanted to think about. I’m eating my sandwich, and again staring off, not really putting my brain’s depleated power towards any one thing.
And then the song starts.
How deep the Father’s love for us. How vast beyond all measure. That He should give His only Son to make a wretch His treasure.
How great the pain of searing loss. The Father turns His face away. As wounds that mar the Chosen One, bring many sons to glory.
I am again jerked back to reality. By these truths, that I’ve known for years. But isn’t it interesting that in certain moments, random blips on the screen of your life, something old becomes new again?
Behold the Man upon a cross. My sin upon His shoulder. Ashamed I hear my mocking voice, call out among the scoffers.
It was my sin that held Him there. Until it was accomplished. His dying breath has brought me life. I know that it is finished.
Wait. What? I had to stop eating. The lyrics. They were cutting me. I did that? I did that to Him? MY sin?
I will not boast in anything, no gifts no power no wisdom. But I will boast in Jesus Christ- His death and resurrection. Why should I gain for His reward? I can not give an answer. But this I know with all my heart- His wounds have paid my ransom.
Because the blog I planned to write yesterday, well, it was severely different. I was ready to whine and complain and give you my very educated opinion of how my life SHOULD be going.
Instead. How deep the Father’s love for me.
Here I sit, in Nashville, at lunch time, in Frothy Monkey, being a full time writer. A year ago? This would have been a dream. A dream that I wouldn’t even have the framework to construct. And yet, how deep the Father’s love for me that this is my life now.
And that my sins, the nasty bunch they are, were upon His shoulder. And I’m redeemed, forgiven, loved, connected, because of that. I have a hope and a future that is [obviously] out of my control and bigger than I know how to contain. Or prepare for.
Who can complain when these are the cards stacked in our favor?
I can’t get this loop out of my head. For days before, and probably days after, I will be reminding myself of this.
Why should I gain for His reward? I can not give an answer. But this I know with all my heart- His wounds have paid my ransom.
That’s the kind of lunch date I’ve waited my whole life for.