Let me get some business out of the way:
1) Waterhorse may be my new favorite movie. I have a soft spot for all things Scottish.
2) Dave Barnes is climbing the charts like a monkey up a vine. He outsold Britney Spears this week. Do you have the new CD yet? You can GET IT HERE on iTunes or click on my Amazon list. Because if it beat Brit-Brit, you probably need it.
On to the real blog….. (sorry, Tyler, its a wee bit lengthy)
My amiga Candace says that bloggers never say anything bad about themselves. So let me break that stereotype. You blogmies can thank me later.
I decided to move to Nashville, put my house on the market, sold it, packed it and spiritually, I have been on Easy Lane. The Lord was making Himself known all over the place- I wasn’t searching at all- He was just showing up. He knew I needed that. And I say thanks.
Then everything sorta slowed down. My house sold and there is really nothing left to do now except roll in the dollar bills…. wait. That’s not what I meant.
I meant that there is nothing left to do but sit. I’m not moving for 5 months, which is good because I do love my Marietta life. But you know what happens when you quit stirring soup? All the impurities float to the top.
And now that I am stopped, all my impurities are floating at the top, which is right in front of my eyes. And if you think piles of slick yellow fat on top of soup looks gross, you ain’t seen NOTHIN’ yet. Cause I’m grossing myself out.
I find my mind asking questions that I know the answers to, desiring things that I do not need, longing for things that I don’t really even understand, getting angry in weird times, getting frustrated with old Annie and she doesn’t even live here anymore. My sinful nature is my nearest companion and worst enemy.
So that’s all really a good time.
Once the house stuff settled, I felt the Lord impressing on me that it was time to prepare. All the “physical” work was done, and it was time for the “spiritual” work. And I do not enjoy it even a little bit. Sue me.
I know, so many people really thrive on spiritual growth and endurance and keep it to themselves when they think it sucks.
I don’t do any of those things.
Today, while the rest of the party went to the beach, I took a nap. [Thank you, headache. Grr…] But it was good for my heart. I needed to have a real talk with God. Floating in that place between sleep and prayer is always so soft, it seems. When all the things in my mind lately have had rough edges and sharp corners, soft is a welcome change. So I prayed about all of my impurities and insecurities. And reminded God that if I’ve learned anything from this whole Nashville thing it is that God is the doer. Not me. And there is a lot I need Him to do in me.
Until then, I sit in this very real reminder that at no point in my life are my impurities, or insecurities, gone. I am far from perfect. But nearer to God. And I need Him more today than I have ever needed Him before.
So there you go, Candace. Bloggers aren’t perfect. Especially this soupy one here.