I’m not a super great roommate.[Don’t tell all those boyz that are clamoring to marry me, okay?]
I just get busy and throw my stuff around and forget to bring the spoons back in from my car [I like to eat yogurt on the way to work] and I accidentally delete shows off the DVR after I’ve watched them.
And I’ve had some rough roommate situations occur in the last five years.
These combine to make me skittish to live with friends that I love. In fact, so skittish that I almost didn’t live with Laura.
Laura and I moved in together in February, and I prepped for the worst. “She’s going to get frustrated with me,” I thought, “and then she’s going to stop liking me and we aren’t going to be friends anymore.” I saw the writing on the wall long before it happened.
I told Laura all about my roommate fears. I guess that’s the best thing I’ve done since we moved in together. I told her all my history, all my worry, and said, “when I say something snappy or defensive, I’m probably just scared that you are going to stop being my friend.”[Because Nash has taught me that community THRIVES when people live wide open honest, even if it is ugly.]
Now, neither Laura or I are perfect. That is for sure.
But here’s what Laura did with my fears and my worries and my snappy-snapbacks: she put an orange in the fridge.
I didn’t have to tell Laura that I absolutely love oranges. I also didn’t have to tell her that I think the finest fruit experience on Earth is a cold orange. She just watched me, and then decided to love my well.
One day a few weeks ago she bought a bag of oranges and put one in the fridge. I saw it the next morning and said, “Ohhh… Laura. I’m out of oranges… can I have that one?”
She said, “Annie. I put it in there for you.”
I think Laura and I are going to annoy each other and make some mistakes in our time of living together. But I also think God has used (and is using) her to slay my fears. To show me that honest conversations are worth the nerves. That if I’m going to someday be a wife and live with my best friend, I have to learn to love in unexpected, but very loud, ways.
I’m glad that Laura is brave enough to live with me. I’m grateful that God has plans for me- not only for His glory, but for my healing.
And I hope that you find a way, today, to love your people well.