When I talk about dating.

on September 27, 2010 in I heart books. with 12 comments by

A few of you who commented and emailed last week when I wrote about speaking at a college retreat about dating asked to hear what I decided to say.

In fact, some even asked for video footage, to which I immediately thought Nope Nope NOPE… because I talked about some stuff with those girls that isn’t blog friendly. Things that my readers under 17 don’t need to know from me, but stuff that college girls are dealing with, struggling with.

Let me be as blunt as I can be and say that SIN DOESN’T CARE IF YOU ARE A BOY OR A GIRL. So. Some sins that are deemed “guy sins” heap shame on the girls who struggle. And visa-versa.

So we talked about it. But I’m not going to blog specifically about that. But if you’re wondering how honest I got, I GOTZ REAL HONEST.


And now I will blog about the other things we discussed.

I spent a long time not talking about boys. Because if I have learned anything in 30 years of being a single Christian girl, I have learned that the relationship that needs the most focus is your relationship with the Father. No one will love you perfectly, everyone will fail you, but God is so faithful. So we talked about building a life around your dreams and His plans.

I talked about the importance of being healthy- mentally, spiritually, and physically. We discussed how it is not as important to be a certain size or shape, but what matters is that you are caring for the gifts God has given you, and that includes your bod.

And then I told them to trust God.

Then we talked about dudes. Because dudes are awesome and cute.

I shared many of your comments and thoughts, I shared some encouraging and heartbreaking stories from your emails [no names were used, I promise], and I told them to only date boys who share their faith. I told them to say YES when a good guy asks them out [even if they aren’t immediately in love] and I told the boys to get some courage and do some asking out. I told them to be honest and be careful. I talked about mistakes I’ve made and the hard parts of being me. I also told them about friendships with boys and how to handle that particular maze, by way of “I fail at this… like… still.”

And we talked about sex and other things that are not appropriate for the blog. [I mean, the blog is only 4 years old. Earmuffs, blog. Earmuffs.]

Overall, it was a super fun weekend. The students were rad and we played some hilarious games that I won’t soon forget. I loved getting to see my friends David and Jane Scott, the directors of KSU Wesley, and the token single dude James Michael Smith [to balance my token single self].

So all in all, it was a win.

Also, here are some books that I told the girls about. You may not agree with everything in every one of these, but these are some of my favs:

Passion and Purity by Elizabeth Elliot  [The cover is hideous. Don’t judge the book by it.]

Path of Loneliness by Elizabeth Elliot  [You’ll cry. But it’ll feel good.]

Get Married: What Women Can Do to Help It Happen by Candice Watters [Can’t hurt to try. 🙂]

The Power of a Praying Wife by Stormie OMartian  [Ain’t nothin’ wrong with praying.]

Anticipatience by Sharon Virkler  [Um. So good. Like, really.]

Revelations of a Single Woman by Connally Gilliam  [My very fav. I want to be friends with her real bad. LOVE LOVE LOVE this book.]

So there’s the recap. Oh, and I got to spend time at Camp Glisson, which is one of my favorite spots in the great state of Georgia. I sat at the waterfall for about 30 minutes and just sat. It was sweet. Many-a-youth-group memory are housed there, so something in me was quite refreshed by the experience.

Thanks again, KSU Wesley! Y’all are awesome.


Just a little teaser– Tomorrow we’re talking about GIVR. Preview and then we can discuss.


  1. posted on Sep 27, 2010 at 7:06 AM  |  reply

    What a blessing for those guys and gals! Oh, how I wish I had had someone talk frankly like that when I was a teenager. I’m so proud of you!

  2. Angie
    posted on Sep 27, 2010 at 7:31 AM  |  reply

    Awesome!!! I love reading your blog. And do you mind if I share your link with my facebook friends?

  3. posted on Sep 27, 2010 at 8:23 AM  |  reply

    I’m so glad that it was an awesome time and I KNOW those girls (and boys) were blessed by your honesty and tips. Was praying for you when I thought about it this weekend!

    And you are SO right about the sin not caring about gender. MUCHO. Right. Heaps. Of. Shame.

    Have a great week Annie!

  4. posted on Sep 27, 2010 at 8:29 AM  |  reply

    OH, and your use of the phrase of token single dude and then your token single self made me realize…

    I’m the token single girl. I thought about this yesterday at a wedding shower for a good friend. I’M THE ONLY SINGLE GIRL OF MY (albeit, awesome, group of) FRIENDS (and of marriage-age) in my church.

    But…I think I’m totally okay with that.

    Never thought I’d say that! 🙂

  5. Erin
    posted on Sep 27, 2010 at 10:46 AM  |  reply

    I want to read YOUR dating book, so write it!

  6. Jennifer
    posted on Sep 27, 2010 at 4:08 PM  |  reply

    I loved having you at the retreat this week! It really was a blessing to have a single woman there for amazing advice. You definitely brought a unique and helpful prospective to everything. I wish you could have stayed longer.

    Thanks for coming,

  7. posted on Sep 27, 2010 at 6:07 PM  |  reply

    Sounds like you did a great job, Annie! Like you, I absolutely loved Connally Gilliam’s book and wanted to be friends with her after reading it. The best book I recent read is Singled Out. I’ve been working on a review for my blog and part 1 should be up on Thursday. I loved it so much that it is turning into probably a 3 part post of how awesome and thought-provoking it is. I wish it could be required reading for all Christians!

  8. posted on Sep 28, 2010 at 3:58 PM  |  reply

    wish i could have been there. My oldest daughter is only 16 and just beginning this whole dating thing. I have always told her about falling in love with Jesus first, and she agrees, but it’s hard. I want her to just date and not have a boyfriend right now, but that’s hard and she doesn’t understand how to do that. Got any books you could recomend about this too?
    No pressure, I just know you’re someone my daughter would love and respect if she knew you in real life! 🙂
    me too! 🙂

  9. posted on Sep 28, 2010 at 6:22 PM  |  reply

    I love cute boys.

  10. your long lost friend missy who still lurves you
    posted on Sep 28, 2010 at 7:05 PM  |  reply

    ohmahgah, i so want to hear that speak. I bet you ROCKED the HIZZOUSE. And I especially want to hear all the R rated parts, cause that’s just how I am.

  11. Sarah Horsley
    posted on Sep 29, 2010 at 1:56 PM  |  reply

    It was great getting to meet you at the retreat. I really appreciated your honestly and hearing things from so many different perspectives. It was an incredible weekend full of honestly, hope, and love. Thank you for everything and I can’t wait to see what this book of yours is about 🙂

  12. MeridethMerideth Schoolcraft
    posted on Oct 03, 2010 at 11:53 AM  |  reply

    I’m with Carolyn. I like cute boys too.
    I had to crack up when you said you didn’t use anyone’s names when you share people’s stories because I requested that of you when I emailed you with my thoughts.
    Can I just tell you that I looked at each of the books you listed on this post on Amazon,and none of them are availible in a format I can actually read? Not that you can do anything about that, but I wanted to comnplain to someone. It’s annoying when I find books I want to read and can’t. So, thank you(again) for telling me I should be able to read yours. OH well. Maybe some day I’ll get to read the others.

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