Well. Nothing will bring me out of a blogger’s fog like a Bachelor season finale.

(But seriously. Sorry for the silence. I went on vacation – I did a herkie – and now I’m back.)

If you haven’t watched the season finale of this Bachelor, then be warned that I’m about to spoil all the spoilers and not hold back because people, we need to process what we have just seen.

For starters. I don’t know Juan Pablo. I know as much as you do- what the ABC people edited for me to know. And I see his twitter… where HE is strangely UNPREDICTABLE about CAPS lock.

Here’s the biggest problem of the night (and lo, were there many)… Juan Pablo wasn’t grateful.

I don’t fault him for not getting engaged, I don’t fault him for not saying I love you. In fact, I would say that’s a pretty solid choice if, in fact, YOU DO NOT LOVE SOMEONE. I try pretty hard to not say I love you to people I do not love. So that is not where my problem with Juan Pablo lies.

Here’s the thing. Who has paid his bills the last few months? Who flew him around the world for extravagant dates? Who introduced him to this woman he likes a lot, enough to sleazily wink in the final rose ceremony? ABC did. And whether he or you or I like it, that’s what he signed up for. As Catherine said last night, “don’t bite the hand that fed you.”

Again, I’m not saying he should have made any decision differently- I’m saying his attitude and lack of thankfulness was a stench that permeated every television, made him come across very rude and self-centered, like a taker and not a giver.

But I don’t know him as a person, so I’m sure the last two episodes were not the best representation of who he is as a man. Also, I don’t know what it is like to be in that seat. I have no idea what it is like to work with ABC. But I do know that you always lose friends when you are rude and in some cases, one case to be exact, you become the most hated bachelor in the history of all things ever.

I’m sad to see the season end that way- the Bachelor is supposed to make the audience feel happy and satisfied at the end, not whatever feeling this is. If he wasn’t happy with the experience, he could have been polite and walked out the door after shooting and never looked back.

Even in situations that don’t go the way you want, there’s always a classy exit. Choose that, friends. Choose that.

(Tiny rant moment to come.)

By the way, DO NOT be rude to Chris Harrison – you know we’ve been friends with him for seventeen seasons, right? You know that when everyone else leaves us, the contestants, the bachelors, the helicopter pilots, he is the one who stays. He’s our faithfulest friend, season to season. So you better settle yourself right on down, Juan Pablo, when you are talking to my friend Chris.

(Tiny rant moment over. Apologies.)

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So… what did you think? Other topics worthy of comment conversation: Juan Pablo and Claire, Chris Harrison’s comments, Andi as the new bachelorette?, Sean and Catherine and the peanut gallery, Nikki?, other moments of importance that I’m forgetting?

I cannot wait to hear your thoughts on this season. 

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Also. Remember that I am serious about not slandering celebrities/people in the public eye – so if you are hugely unkind, I will delete your comment.