An orange in the fridge.

on April 27, 2010 in Ze Bloggy Goodness with 8 comments by

I’m not a super great roommate.

[Don’t tell all those boyz that are clamoring to marry me, okay?]

I just get busy and throw my stuff around and forget to bring the spoons back in from my car [I like to eat yogurt on the way to work] and I accidentally delete shows off the DVR after I’ve watched them.

And I’ve had some rough roommate situations occur in the last five years.

These combine to make me skittish to live with friends that I love. In fact, so skittish that I almost didn’t live with Laura.

Laura and I moved in together in February, and I prepped for the worst. “She’s going to get frustrated with me,” I thought, “and then she’s going to stop liking me and we aren’t going to be friends anymore.” I saw the writing on the wall long before it happened.

I told Laura all about my roommate fears. I guess that’s the best thing I’ve done since we moved in together. I told her all my history, all my worry, and said, “when I say something snappy or defensive, I’m probably just scared that you are going to stop being my friend.”

[Because Nash has taught me that community THRIVES when people live wide open honest, even if it is ugly.]

Now, neither Laura or I are perfect. That is for sure.

But here’s what Laura did with my fears and my worries and my snappy-snapbacks: she put an orange in the fridge.

I didn’t have to tell Laura that I absolutely love oranges. I also didn’t have to tell her that I think the finest fruit experience on Earth is a cold orange. She just watched me, and then decided to love my well.

One day a few weeks ago she bought a bag of oranges and put one in the fridge. I saw it the next morning and said, “Ohhh… Laura. I’m out of oranges… can I have that one?”

She said, “Annie. I put it in there for you.”

I think Laura and I are going to annoy each other and make some mistakes in our time of living together. But I also think God has used (and is using) her to slay my fears. To show me that honest conversations are worth the nerves. That if I’m going to someday be a wife and live with my best friend, I have to learn to love in unexpected, but very loud, ways.

I’m glad that Laura is brave enough to live with me. I’m grateful that God has plans for me- not only for His glory, but for my healing.

And I hope that you find a way, today, to love your people well.

8 comments

  1. posted on Apr 27, 2010 at 4:09 AM  |  reply

    That is lovely. Community rocks.

  2. posted on Apr 27, 2010 at 6:58 AM  |  reply

    Friends. Friendships. It keeps coming up everywhere I go. I think the Lord is trying to tell me something. I’m listening. Thanks for sharing.

  3. Merideth Schoolcraft
    posted on Apr 27, 2010 at 7:05 AM  |  reply

    I’ve been reminded over and over again over recent years how key honesty in relationships is. It’s so hard to do sometimes, but so worth it. I’m proud of you Annie for being so open with your friend/roommate. Thanks for sharing this story, and giving the rest of us a good example to follow. You are lucky to have Laura!

  4. posted on Apr 27, 2010 at 7:41 AM  |  reply

    I totally get this! I had a LOT of roommates in college. I’m not going to say how many, but it was definitely double digits. And while I always told myself that it was the other person’s fault that things didn’t work out, I know now I shared the blame. I’m glad you and Laura have each other and can learn and grow together.

  5. posted on Apr 27, 2010 at 10:30 AM  |  reply

    beautiful 🙂 i just moved in with a new roommate, and every single thing i do, i’m afraid i will irritate her. but i’m doing all i know how to do by emptying the dishwasher, bringing in the trash can from the road on trash day, letting her dog out. and she’s awesome too, doing the same things for me! but this was so good to read.
    also, i won the dave barnes and matt wertz giveaway and i got the dave cd in the mail yesterday!!! yay! thanks again so much!!!!!

  6. grace
    posted on Apr 27, 2010 at 6:38 PM  |  reply

    I once had a room-mate that took a part-time job as a stripper to make ends meet. She used to wash and hang up her “work-wear” in our bathroom to dry.

    Take encouragement in that, ok? That no matter what you do, you will never be a worse housemate than a stripper who hangs up her “unmentionables” in the bathroom.

    love.

  7. posted on Apr 29, 2010 at 2:00 AM  |  reply

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  8. posted on Apr 29, 2010 at 7:26 AM  |  reply

    This post reminds me of a book I just read by Lisa Whelchel called _Friendship for Grownups_. Sometimes I feel like I never left junior high when it comes to the way I relate to other women. This book helped me to understand that I’m not the only person that feels that way, but that it’s not too late for me to learn how to be a safe friend and how to find safe friends. Put it on your list. (That sounded bossy. You can put it on your list if you want to.)

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