Day 31 :: 5 Steps To No More Mean Girls

mean-girlsIn the deepest parts of my heart, I think we can live in a world that the mean girl isn’t welcome. I told her so yesterday, but I also talked about it last month over at (in)courage.

But if we’re going to get rid of the mean girl mentality in our culture, we have to make a few decisions ourselves.  Ready? Here we go.


1. Choose Truth.

First of all, it starts with YOU and ME, not the mean girl. We have to stop letting what other people say about us define who we are- I don’t care if you are 12 or 72, you have to choose to believe the truth of who you are and who God made you. The mean girl has power because the rest of us give her power to determine our worth. Once you know your worth, that power is zapped from her.


2. Involve An Adult.

Are you a student being picked on? Tell an adult. Are you a student seeing someone else get picked on? Tell an adult. Are you the mean girl and you don’t know why you say the things you do? TELL AN ADULT. It’s not the cool answer, but it’s the true answer. Adults whom you trust will be able to help you maneuver how best to handle the situation you are in.

Are you an adult affected by the mean girl mentality? Tell another adult. Get some other voices in your head and allow someone else to help you walk through this.


3. Don’t be the Mean Girl.

You know who hates the mean girl mentality? Everyone, including other mean girls. You may not know how to label yourself, so let me help. Do you make fun of other women behind their backs? Do you find joy in seeing others look stupid? Do you read blogs or twitter feeds just to mock the writer? Do you see someone sitting alone at lunch in the cafeteria and think they deserve it? You could be the mean girl.

If you are the mean girl, habitually or momentarily, YOU HAVE GOT TO STOP. Something on your insides feels hurt or empty and you are trying to fill it with the wrong stuff. Tearing others down doesn’t build you. KINDNESS shared is KINDNESS gained.



4. Don’t buy into the hype.

You see articles like THIS that say the mean girl can’t be helped. You see movies that make the mean girl out to be common place. You hear “she’s everywhere,” “we all know one,” “she’s always gonna exist.” DON’T BELIEVE IT. This mentality does NOT have to be part of our culture. Don’t lay down under the pressure of “it’s too big for us to change.” NOTHING is impossible with Jesus. God’s heart is that women would be loved the way HE loves, so we can believe that He wants to do whatever it takes for us to be LOVED.


5. Speak Love.

You saw this one coming, didn’t you? We don’t fight fire with fire. We don’t speak to others the way they deserve to be spoken to, we speak love. You want to see the mean girl stop? Speak love to her. BE KIND. Be nice, even if she isn’t. Go out of your way to say the genuinely kind thing to those around you and watch your world change.

Is it really that simple? REALLY?

Yes. Do those five things for a month- pursue truth, involve adults if necessary, don’t be the mean girl, ignore the hype, and speak love- and then come back here and tell me if your world isn’t a kinder place with less mean girl than you could have ever imagined.

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31 waysFriends, it has been a fun month of 31 Ways to Speak Love. Thanks for being a part of what God is doing with all of this! I truly believe He is up to something big and we are lucky to be a part!

A few final reminders:

You can purchase Speak Love and Speak Love Revolution at your favorite bookstore or online retailer.

Send a free e-card to your favorite persons over at

Check out some of these pinterest boards we’ve got running:

You can get free shipping on all the Speak Love swag at AnnieBlogs store using the code 31WAYS through the weekend!

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Finally, do you have a favorite day that you wish we’d talk more about? Or a topic we didn’t hit this month? Or thoughts on the series in general? Leave a comment below!

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