Y’all know I have so much love for the enneagram. So you KNOW I’m talking about it at every Christmas party I’m going to in real life, so obviously we needed to talk about at THIS party too.
My friend Seth Abram is one of the smartest dudes I know, and he’s particularly put a lot of time in the last few years into the study of the enneagram. HIS KNOWLEDGE GOES DEEEP, Y’ALL. So I asked him to come on the show and help us sort out Christmas gifts for our friends based on their enneagram number.
Get ready, whether you know a little or a lot, this episode is going to blow your mind a bit. It’s awesome.
You can either subscribe and listen on iTunes, or feel free to listen on the player below!
– TedTalk | Amy Cudding: Your body language may shape who you are
Annnnd…all things Enneagram 🙂
- Type One: The Reformer
- Practical suggestions: Gym memberships, cooking classes, or a Home Depot gift card.
- Deep dive: Consider giving the ones in your life a gift that’s related to improving themselves or the world. A gift that helps them continue advancing with what they are, who they are, and what’s important to them. Ones often feel as though they can’t really do the things they want to do until after all of what should be done and needs taking care of first is finished. A gift that aims to relieve the weight of this perceived responsibility is a great place to start!
- Type Two: The Helper
- Practical suggestions: Gifts they can re-gift, a spa day, or experiences that you can share with them.
- Deep dive: One thing that most people don’t know about twos is that they tend to believe that in order to be loved, they must be meeting the needs of others. They always have to be giving something to receive love in return, which leads them to be out of touch with their own wants and needs. Knowing that twos often forget themselves in the pursuit of helping others, a well-purposed gift speaks volumes -relationships are everything to a two. Consider a gift that helps them uncover some of their own wants and needs -one that helps them attend to themselves.
- Type Three: The Achiever
- Practical suggestions: Backstage passes, technology, time-saving gadgets, or anything to promote productivity.
- Deep dive: Threes are success oriented and always on the move. They can tend to believe that who they are is defined by what they do. They can think that love is more about what they do than who they are. Consider a gift that helps them slow down, engage, and simply be. This could look like acknowledging things you love about them apart from productivity, achievements or results. Do something together that has no value other than the act of doing it -dinner to a nice restaurant they’ve never been to, seeing sunrise, or a nature hike.
- Type Four: The Romantic
- Practical suggestions: Unique and thoughtful gifts, something rare or hand-made, or a meaningful, well-planned experience.
- Deep dive: Fours tend to believe that there is something inherently missing about them that everyone else seems to have. They want to stand out, be special and unique. Consider a gift that shows you were thinking about them -something that helps them experience meaning and depth. Take note of the ways in which they tend to express themselves to the world, and help them live into that. A gift that helps them give themselves to the world will be of immense value to them.
- Type Five: The Observer
- Practical suggestions: A library card, books, clothes that match their specific style, or things that don’t add clutter to their lives.
- Deep dive: Information is everything for a five – the more they know, the better. Knowledge is power. One way to help them gather this information is to gift them books pertaining to their “obsession.” Consider giving them something that doesn’t clutter their home, but adds knowledge and information. The strategy of a five is to get through life by not asking much of it. All the while, they’re hoping that in return, others won’t ask too much of them. A gift that encourages them to reinhabit their physicality – something like a gym membership, a bicycle, a kayak – anything that gives them the opportunity to be active will be of enormous value to this type.
- Six: The Loyalist
- Practical suggestions: A road-safety kit, alarm system, pepper-spray, or something safe yet spontaneous.
- Deep dive: Sixes look toward authority to know security. While everybody else seems to be asking, “Are you going to love me?”, sixes are asking, “Am I safe?” Since security is their guiding principle, they tend to desire predictability that life can’t really offer. Any gift that helps them come to peace with all the things that are out of control, a gift that helps them trust themselves and their instincts is a great place to start. Give a gift that helps them manage the things in life that feel uncontrollable or encourages them towards spontaneity – but doing it with them, of course.
- Seven: the Enthusiast
- Practical suggestions: Anything that goes fast, fun generating, or deliciously distracting. New experiences, an event, concert, or these crazy awesome around the world plane tickets.
- Deep dive: Sevens have a tendency to become dissatisfied with whatever it is they’re doing or currently experiencing -the grass is always greener somewhere else. This type is often convinced that another event or activity will be the solution to their problems – thinking becomes anticipating. They don’t stay with anything long enough to experience it deeply or to get any real satisfaction. Consider a gift that keeps them present to the moment, something that helps them stay. Maybe that’s a mindfulness app, or a watch with pre-programmed alarms that say “be here” every hour.
- Eight: the Challenger
- Practical suggestions: Boxing lessons, martial arts, tickets to anything that’s intense to watch, or a puppy!
- Deep dive: Eights are powerful and strong -people you want on your team. Intensity and control are at the top of their lists. They get things done. It can be difficult for them to trust people because of their fear of betrayal. Vulnerability doesn’t come easy. Help them reengage their innocence, the softness that they don’t want others to see. Become a safe place and practice being vulnerable with them yourself. Consider a gift that proves your commitment.
- Nine: the Peacemaker
- Practical suggestions: A recommendation letter for an internship at the UN, something that adds to their collections (what they consider valuable), or boxing gloves and a punching bag.
- Deep dive: Peace is everything for a nine. They tend to avoid reality to maintain their inner peace, which lends to avoiding conflict at all costs. Find out what it is that they collect and add to their collection -they’ll be the happiest person in the world. Nines are afraid to rock the boat because if they stand for something too hard, it might cause conflict or disconnection. Consider helping a nine find their voice -anything that helps them wake up and become the fullest version of themselves. Boxing gloves and a punching bag aren’t a bad idea!