Have Nots Foundation

It’s about time I came out with my own foundation.

[I don’t know why that statement is true. It’s actually probably not true. But I’m keeping it.]

And this foundation isn’t going to be “raising money” or “an actual foundation” or anything like that. So don’t worry.

But I was taking with my friend Marie Claire this week and we had a revelation.


You don’t HAVE to do anything.

Don’t you feel freed up? You’re welcome for that.

Sure, I need to be working on a writing project, and prior to HNF [Have Nots Foundation, obviously], I would have said, “Gosh, I have to quit blogging because I have to work on this or that.”

No, I don’t HAVE to quit blogging. I should make the choice to quit blogging.

Not because I HAVE to work on a project. But because I need to work on the project or face the consequences of turning said project in after the due date.

There is not a situation where you can say that you HAVE to do something.

Example: I HAVE to use the bathroom.

No, your body needs to eliminate waste so you are choosing to do that in the proper location. [And that’s a good choice.]

Example: I HAVE to go to the bank before I purchase groceries.

No, your checking account may get a huge overdraft fee because you bought groceries before you deposited your nanny money [just for example, of course], but that does not mean you HAVE to go to the bank. It just means smart people would.

Example: Are you sure you HAVE to leave the party?

No, you don’t HAVE to leave. You may need to leave, want to leave, or be choosing to leave.

But we live in America. Where freedom reigns. And you. don’t. HAVE. to. do. anything.

So I’m going to quit saying it.

No more will you hear from my mouth “I HAVE to….” “You HAVE to….” etc.

[I will, on the other hand, continue to use HAVE in the possession sense- “I have a computer.” Because, in fact, I do have a computer.]  Do I HAVE to use my computer to be a writer?

Some would say yes.

But those of us in the HNF would say NO. I do not HAVE to use the computer. I could choose to use the computer. Or a typewriter. Or a quill and ink well.

So join me, won’t you? You don’t HAVE to, but it is an invitation. Try, for real, all day to eliminate the HAVE in your vocabulary. Let me know how it goes. Or, give me a challenge: can you think of a situation where the only correct term would be have? [I‘m honestly curious- Marie Claire and I could not find one example where have was the only option.]

If you agree with me, then welcome to the Have Nots Foundation. It’s the best kind of foundation- you don’t HAVE to do anything to be a member and you don’t HAVE to show up to any meetings.

[Disclaimer: This is what happens in my mind when I spend the day writing serious things. It’s ridiculous and yet I’m laughing out loud and rolling my eyes at my own self. I can’t decide whether to embrace this post or apologize for it. Either way, here ya go. We’re still friends, right? Hope so.]

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