Before we get to the topic at hand, I have to say this-
In one week,
4 sweet friends of mine got engaged. (In groups of 2.)
2 of my DEAREST friends got SAVED. The husband on Tuesday, the wife tonight. Praise the Lord for how He pursues families.
One of my close childhood/youth friends is getting married on Saturday.
My house sold (not as stable as the others, but cool none the less).
I’m full of praise and love for Jesus tonight. Just so you know.
So there’s that.
I play this game in my car, where I put my iPod on shuffle and ask God to speak to me through it. A bit crazy, I know, because sometimes I say that, and then get “Ice Ice Baby”. And that makes me laugh. [And cringe, because WHY do I have Vanilla Ice on my iPod?]
But tonight, it was right on the money.
There’s been a lot going on lately [see list above and note multiple blog posts featuring youtube], and many other things I can’t [don’t] blog about. Things that confuse me and raise questions in my mind that I don’t have a folder for. Green lights that scare my guts. Stop signs that make no sense. I think I really know God one day and then He reminds me that I need a slice of humble pie and a big, ice cold glass of Isaiah 55:9.
As I was driving from Acworth to Woodstock tonight [Mrs. Social Butterfly could really use a chauffeur], the title track from Vineyard Music’s If You Say Go CD came out of the speakers. It is a song I’ve known a long time, but the meaning of the words changes, it seems, with the seasons of my life.
Because tonight, I could plug my own life into each line. So the first time I just listened and reflected. I then hit repeat and sang the song, with all the courage I could muster [which if measured, would be about a cup and a half]. I’ve added my commentary and changed the pronoun from “I” to “we”- because one of these days, I’m going to have to quit singing on behalf of my imaginary childhood friend, Bonkers.
If You Say Go
If You say go, I will go. [Nashville]
If You say wait, I will wait. [writing]
If You say step out on the water, [go to Nashville alone and rely on God to provide all]
and they say it can’t be done, [“Annie doesn’t do that kind of thing- it makes her uncomfortable”]
I’ll fix my eyes on You and I will come. [to Nashville in August]
Your ways are higher than my ways. [we’ve been over that]
And the plans that You have laid are good and true. [keep reminding me of that]
If You call me to the fire, [do You have to do that?]
You will not withdraw Your hand. [depending on that]
I’ll gaze into the flames and look for You. [glad You will be in that… there]
It was going so well with the “that” thing. Sad.
God is taking this whole “stepping towards my dream” thing a little far, don’t you think? I mean, He’s dreaming WAY bigger for my life than I am. And for me, that’s requiring bigger steps than I anticipated when I named this blog.
#1- Quitting graduate school.
#2- Signing up for Mt. Hermon Writer’s Conference.
#3- Quitting teaching at the end of this school year.
#4- Putting my house on the market.
So… to continue the list….
#5- Actually sell the house.
#6- Actually attend Mt. Hermon next week. [yikes.]
#7- Move to Nashville, Tennessee in August. [triple-yikes.]
I really love the number 7. It’s always been my favorite. That’s bound to count for something.