First of all, I’m so glad y’all loved hearing about RebaFail2009. You laughed AT me, mainly, but I’m okay with that. Oh, and by the way, Emily is really concerned that you hate her over the whole thing – I told her that you don’t.
Now, on to things of a more serious nature.
It’s come that time again. It happens to me once in a while. So far in Nashville, twice.
I get into a slump. A lot of outside forces [and inside forces] affect the situation, and here are the warning signs:
- I bite my nails off. Big time.
- I start wearing the same things over and over and over again.
- I make a lot of self deprecating jokes.
- I eat a truckload of carbs.
Diagnosis: I have forgotten that I am pretty.
Now. I want you to take that the way I mean it. I’m not bragging about my looks by any stretch of the imagination, being all [insert valley girl voice here]:
“Like seriously, I’m so cute, you can NOT even handle it. For real. I am, like, the prettiest girl in our high school and like, I don’t even have to try. Like, some people say ‘pretty’ and I turn around thinking that they are talking to me.”
Yeah, not at all. What I am saying is that it took the Lord years – LITERALLY YEARS – to get my heart to a place where I could look in the mirror and not be sad about what I saw. Younger Annie had some hard times in the self-esteem department, bless her heart.
“Good thing I’m funny.”
That was more my quote.
But that evil-inspired mindset is a thing of the past. Most of the time.
I don’t know why [maybe I do] this old mindset was able to creep it’s way back in, but it did. And I found myself, over the last few weeks, believing lies all over again. And about a week ago, it broke me. Or, better said, it was the straw that broke the camel’s back Annie’s heart.
I’m not all better. But I’m fighting. Which is more than I can say for October Annie. [Or Younger Annie, bless her heart.]
And I’m not really sure why I’m blogging about this- it surely isn’t the sexy stuff the fellas want to read that will get me a date. But on the other hand, I don’t know one. single. girl. on. earth. who hasn’t dealt with ugly days, lies in your head, or tears over your looks. So we might as well talk about it. Cause it’s there.
Sometimes believing truth is a for realz battle.
So because I want to believe truth, and truth needs action, here’s what I’m doing:
- I’m remembering that God has made me.
- And that He thinks I’m pretty.
- I went to Urban Outfitters yesterday and shopped a bit in their $9.99 section. Cause let’s be honest- a new shirt, scarf, and necklace can make all the difference.
- I’m taking care of myself. Because just like my robe, my body deserves to be treated well.
And now that things are moving in the right direction, I may get all sorts of crazy and buy some jeggings.
Nah. Probably not. 🙂