Step #4

I’m selling my house.

My sweet little house has truly been a refuge and a creative center for me. It has been peaceful even when life wasn’t. I love the paint colors and the decorations and my furniture, including the most expensive red couch in the entire hemisphere. [Ok, that’s an exaggeration … maybe … but it sure felt true when I bought it.]

This little home has been the location of many Bible study nights (Give it up, She-Ra girls!), Christmas parties, goodbye parties, move ins, move outs, slumber parties, set-ups (yeah Candace and Jason), break ups, tears, laughter, dinners, lunches, ice cream in abundance. And many days I just sat in my white chair and a half, looked out the window as the sun shone in, and fell asleep to the sound of nothing.

It’s been the perfect home for me.

Is it really true that all good things must come to an end? I’m not talking Heaven, don’t go there, Sammy Spiritual. But honestly, thinking of earthly things, they all come to an end, don’t they?

I’ve been really pondering it. Because I so anticipate what is coming next that I have moments where I think “if this doesn’t hurry up I’m going to explode”. Then there are other moments where my brain screams “Get me the heck off this train to Change-ville!!!” And I wish none of you knew my plans so I could just bail and not let this season of my life end. But that’s stupid and not God, although it sounds easy. I don’t want owning this house to end.

But I do. In order to get the next best thing God has for me, I have to give up the current good thing.

Which is weird. But true. Take it to the bank- you have to give up good for best. You have to give up now for then. You have to give up here for there. Every good thing cost something. Even salvation- it’s free for US, not for Him.

I want you to hear something. The reason this blog exists, the reason this post exists, the reason I exist- it’s not for me. I write all this, add a spice of humor, and give you my current plans because I CAN NOT CONTAIN my delight in how God is showing up for me. I have never known Him like this- because I’ve never been willing to trust like this. And I will never be the same.

I will never be the same because of Him. I will never be the same thanks to Him.

And I want so badly for you to be braver than me. I want the world to be changed because you realized that God deserves your trust. I guess I can’t guarantee that THE world will change, but I know YOUR world will change. And isn’t that enough? Maybe if we each changed our own world, THE world would change, too? Roll that one around a bit….

So my attempt-to-be-brave-in-08 plan is to sell the house [pray!] then move back in with the ole parentals for a while to save up the doll hairs. [that’s dollars, for you non-David Spade fans.]

What could the next step be after quitting grad school, abandoning my career (after June), and moving home in order to squirrel away money?

Ask Danny Garmin.

Chew on these verses for a while. Read them until they are true. You’ll know when they are true to you- your insides will expand until your chest cavity feels like it can’t contain your heart. And that’s the moment you remember that God isn’t a part of your life, He IS your life. Because no one else is worthy.

Lamentations 3: 21-25

Yet this I call to mind and therefore I have hope:

Because of the LORD’s great love we are not consumed, for His compassions never fail.

They are new every morning; great is Your faithfulness.

I say to myself, “The LORD is my portion; therefore I will wait for Him.”

The LORD is good to those whose hope is in Him, to the one who seeks Him.


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