The reason it’s called Madness.

When I finished blogging yesterday, I planned on going to bed early in order to get up early to shop. Little did I know how my evening, and morning, would turn out….

8:45pm- Marie Claire calls and says, “Hey, wanna go to the 400 outlets tonight? They open at midnight with huge sales.” I consider it.

9:10pm- Katie B decides to go. Says “Be at my house at 11pm.”

10:25pm- I made a ridiculous decision to join them on this excursion.

11:14pm- We join forces, ready to show those Outlet Malls that we rule. We don’t fear you and your Midnight Madness. We defeat you. We own you. ATTITUDE CHECK: Hopeful. We are thinking we will get there by about 12:15am, shop for a couple of hours, and be nestled all warm in our beds by 3am. Sweet.

12:23am- We are about 5 miles from the Outlets. Traffic? Huh. Well, probably just a wreck or something. SURELY this has nothing to do with where we are going.
12:26am- Traffic seems to be increasing. Not a good sign.
1:09am- Seriously. We’ve pretty much identified the fact that this isn’t a wreck. Yes, all these people are going to the SAME PLACE that we are going. Gracious.ATTITUDE CHECK: Doubtful. We can still turn around- should we? Is this really worth it?

1:22am- We finally enter the Outlet area. There are cars everywhere. Parking lot, full. Hwy. 400, full. Restaurant parking across Hwy. 400, full. Oh boy. We decide to turn in to the Outlets anyways. Ashley does a fine job vulchurizing people, intimidating other drivers, etc. But no one will give us their parking spot. During this time, Marie is screaming out the window- “JUST KEEP SHOPPING! KEEP UP THE GOOD WORK! GIVE US YOUR PARKING SPACE!” (Hence the reason I have no pictures- I was laughing too hard!)

1:38am- Hallelujah. Do you SEE how far away the Outlets are? Yes, we are on the back row and we had to beg for this spot.
2:ooam- Waiting IN LINE to go in Banana Repubic. Yes, in line! A policeman is standing at the door and as 2 people exit, 2 people enter. Ridiculous. And can I politely say that we had no idea this was going to be such an international experience. There were a lot of people who don’t speak English partaking in this shopping extravaganza… which is fine. Just an observation.
ATTITUDE CHECK: So good. We’re pumped to be here.

2:32am- Checking out at the Banana Republic. Bizarrely awake. Bright eyed and bushy tailed. And please don’t judge Ashley’s outfit.

Now that we’ve gotten that out of our systems, on to more shopping….

Did I mention that none of us brought a list or really have anything to buy? Yeah, dumb.

I won’t give you all the details of the rest of our shopping trip, though it was glorious. And long. And we waited in a lot of lines. Most of the jokes we made, that many of you would enjoy, are those late night jokes that may not be funny and I really can’t post on here and still have my blog-integrity (blotegrity?).

3:45am- J.Crew. Our last store. For obvious reasons.
ATTITUDE CHECK: Losing it. Getting tired. Ready to be done. Didn’t we mean to be HOME by now?

At this point, I had spent $10. On one fleece in Gap. Seriously, we drove up 400, waited in traffic, parked a million miles away, waited in line, shopped with thousands of people for a $10 fleece?

Yes, yes we did.

I rarely admit defeat, but I have no choice. Midnight Madness, you win. You always do.

4:17am- In the car on the way home. I don’t even have words to explain what happened here. It’s a little long, dull in the middle, but I feel that it is an honest representation of our mental state. Excuse the poor camera work. [The 420 reference refers to Katie B’s home address. I promise.]

ATTITUDE CHECK: Loony. Completely out of our minds.

5:00am- Arrive home.


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