I don’t know. Maybe you are from here. Maybe you, like me, woke up this morning with a swollen throat, leaving you the slightest bit concerned that the day has finally come when you are, in fact, allergic to Cadbury eggs.

You don’t worry about that? Oh. Moving on…..

Well, if you live in Georgia, you probably DID wake up with a swollen throat, or some other form or physical response to the intensity that reigns (and RAINS) outside.

I went to 722 tonight and the pastor said, “Introduce yourself to one another and answer this question: If you could have dust made of any particle fill your nose and lungs, and cover your body and all your belongings, what would it be?”

I said Frosted Flakes dust. Because that would be sweet and delicious.

But instead, you get this.No, our lake is not made of Ramen Noodle powder, though that’s what it looks like.

Pollen, people. It’s taking over the state of Georgia. Our peaches look like lemons. It’s like sand. There is probably some in my bed, in my shoes, in my ears. Everywhere.

And our vehicles?
Don’t even worry about the fact that I still have my KSU sticker even though I’m a grad school dropout. It’s all a show to look more dedicated and educated. Don’t judge me.

But look at that coverage of pollen. It is disgusting. It layers everything, including persons. My friend Nathan was playing golf today and was commenting on how he had to dust HIMSELF off after standing still too long.

That is the gospel truth of how things are right here right now. And I know it happens every year, but does anyone else feel like it is a bit intense this year? I mean seriously, it’s like a golden Harmattan.

My grandmother’s car is the perfect example. Natural color? Maroon. No lie.

Great googley moogley.

So. is this just a Georgia thing or what? Is it a Southern thing? Are we being punished for the crimes of the Confederates? Or is it nationwide? Was pollen a plague? If not, a good opportunity was missed to really drive those Egyptians crazy. I’m not even Pharaoh and I want to let the people go.

To end strong, I googled “yellow joke” in hope of coming up with something hilarious for you. Sadly, most “yellow jokes” are far beyond inappropriate and uncool.

So I’ll just give you some tips I found online for surviving the pollen:
1) Don’t vacuum [apparently it stirs up pollen]
2) Don’t rub your eyes
3) Stay indoors
4) Change your clothes at bedtime [what say you go ahead and make that a habit anyways- pollen or not]

You’re welcome.

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